Filling the lake of eternal memories...

Updates

2006-08-22T06:38:00.000+01:00

I'll be back in London exactly a week from now. Being sent away from home *sigh* sucks, that's me being very honest. I wonder how people can ever want to move out at my age and stay with some boyfriend whatever. Anyway, no worries...The only two things which trouble me are not being able to find my guardian's house (all the houses along that row look the same, besides, he still hasn't put up the house number plate) and not being able to open their front door. I'm pathetic at using keys. I'm such a joke.

My AS results are okay. Biology was better than expected but not ideal because of *beep*. If I could, I would wish to throttle *beep* (you- know- who). Deep down, I know I could have done better and I should have (though my parents are very happy already). I've let down all my years of 'suffering' at RV and at HC. I had better stop myself from complaining and look towards the future, namely finishing my personal statement and brushing up those meagre interview skills. Somehow, I always manage to make myself look shifty and delinquent- like at interviews. How lucky.

Good grief, I need to get started on some packing!

Another great thing, I passed the diving theory test. Gosh, but I could have gotten full marks! Nitrogen narcosis...ohh. But that's alright. *sniffs indignantly*

Come on girl, ditch the stupid kiasu attitude.
Aaah...that's better.

Today's lesson was fun. Would have been better if it weren't one- to- one, more people around introduces the fun factor (provided you aren't the worst of the lot) and lets you laugh at others (not the mean kind okay). But then again, a lesson specially tailored to your individual needs isn't all that horrid too. I hate my nose, sinus and ears. Stupid mucus. I think I'm in very real danger of rupturing my eardrums. Being down with a cold sucks. Must remind myself tomorrow to ask to learn that fancy dolphin thing, the flutter is effective but mundane.

I want a shorty. I want a shorty! My current suit makes me look like a retarded 太空人. It's tough getting into it and just worse trying to struggle out of it. Must have looked absolutely moronic.

I'm rubbish at fixing up the BC etc. Was even worse at attaching the weight belt underwater. It's bloody heavy! Maybe I don't have the strength to tighten it. Dunno. Argh. But still, it's a very excellent experience overall. Snorkelling is cool too and so much easier.

Get well get well. I need to/ want to/ must get well by tomorrow!

Love,
-xinying-
Oh so frustrated...

Hi again

2006-08-14T14:48:00.000+01:00

Been doing quite a few things over the past weeks. A bit lacking on the shopping side though...still need to get myself a durable pair of shoes and pants to fit my ever- expanding bum. Puny tailored- for- Asian- women clothes don't fit me anymore regretfully. Not that I'm getting any taller. Tried a pair of trousers on today and carefully examined my 'otherside', my behind was in a word, awful.

Very trivial matters aside, on to less frivolous things.

Basically, my AS results are to be released in roughly three days time. *shudders* I'm soon to be reduced into a nervous wreck. Like almost my whole life will rest on the few As, Bs or Cs reflected on the result slip. Gosh, this might (might) determine whether I would die a pauper or a god- knows- what in fifty years time (provided I swear to cross the road properly for a whopping fifty years). I'm making the AS- es sound so very important, undoubtedly they are...I mean the university I go to, my career, my life blah. Let's be positive, Fs aren't bad too. In fact, I might make an excellent and extremely adaptable parasite!

Darwinian laws at work.

My personal statement sounds thoroughly cheesy. Need to go through it again tomorrow. I solemnly swear to work harder on that one. But then again, I haven't got very many impressive things to put down. It isn't as though I've won loads of Maths Olympiads and am too 'modest' to include it or something. I genuinely have nothing fantastic or 'wow' to impress the admission tutors. Plain (and naff) Jane in trouble. Haha, it's all down to my literary skills now.

I want to go back to school yet I don't want to go too...

I'll write again.

Love,
-xinying-

Billy Elliot and Cambridge

2006-07-11T13:27:00.000+01:00

The Musical

The house outing on Thursday (6th July) was to Covent Garden and Victoria (to catch Billy Elliot). Had an Indian dinner.

Kasia, Zakiyyah and me in A Tale of India (the restaurant name)

Us at Covent Garden

The musical wasn't bad. The only thing: they had a terribly strong northern accent and a bit too many *f* words and the *b* ones so on. The storyline was pretty good but the tunes weren't that catchy. AND they didn't have Ben and Jerry's ice cream at Victoria Palace.

Cambridge

Visited Cambridge with Olivia, Laura and Joanna. We got up at 5am just to catch the coach and missed breakfast. Anyway, the B and B owner was not very honest (in my opinion). He claimed that there would be some cereals and bread for those who left early but there was nothing for us at all. To think the 220 pounds included the breakfast charge and we didn't even eat any of it!

Sat through 2 talks, one in the Babbage Lecture Theatre and the other in the Biffen Lecture Theatre. I nearly dozed off, don't think it's a very good sign because a good portion of general university teaching will be conducted in the form of lectures. To think of it, I have never actually been very successful trying to keep awake during long talks.

Followed Joanna and Laura to Downing College. In short, it's BIG and it's so GREEN. But I really don't understand why most colleges don't have basins in the student rooms. A sink is a basic facility...argh.

Walked all the way back to the Babbage Lecture Theatre in Downing Site by myself. By myself! I get so afraid when I have to wander around a strange place just armed with a map. Attended a medicine lecture (and nearly fell asleep again), then ran off to explore or rather visit colleges and get lost. Looked at Queen's, Christ's, Emmanuel, Pembroke and Sidney. Most of them had no sinks, sigh. Met Oli halfway and went late for the anatomy intro lecture.

The anatomy lecturer was amazing! He didn't look like one but he delivered the most captivating lecture I had ever come across in my short little life. The theatre looked old and there were huge blackboards. Blackboards?! I will not forget that theatre, the typical studious environment it offers.

Now all I have to do is sit tight, work hard and hope that I will do well enough to enter a good university.

Love,

-xinying-

2006-07-02T13:30:00.000+01:00

Sometimes I just wonder what's the purpose of having 'friends' when everyone around seems so f*cked up.

I'd rather have no friends than be treated like a 'back- up' friend. They only come to you to ask for things or when they haven't got anyone else to look for.

Why can't all men be islands? Solitary is good.

Bronze

2006-06-27T10:00:00.000+01:00

The best time to go on an expedition is undeniably summer. The days are long (meaning you can afford to walk more slowly before the sky gets dark) and it's warmer (ie. no need to weigh the sack down with layers of spare thick clothing). Furthermore, it's a lot less rainy.

Packing the rucksack was quite easy this time round, given all that I've been through. It was loads easier than packing for Gold, with less food and clothes etc. The sack was reasonably light.

There's this strange feeling that's suddenly come over me, a 'I don't wanna type no more!' feeling. A kind of laziness. Shall keep this simple then.

Sat in the minibus with St. Helen's Alfie (a beautiful golden lab) all the way from Farnley to our starting point. Alfie's just so calm when sitting in a moving vehicle unlike Diddy, who keeps clawing at the leather seats and fidgeting out of anxiety perhaps. The only bad thing: I had to tolerate the whiffs of doggy breath puffed at my face and the drips of drool. Mmm...

We got lost the very minute we started walking. I reckon we were the last group to leave the starting point. That was about it for the first day, everything else went smoothly except for us having to walk through a field reeking of sheep poo. Walking straight into thorns wasn't that wonderful either and going through this random field where we nearly thought we were lost. Generally, it was really good and there were no major challenges along the way.

Got to the campsite soon enough. Unfortunately, we weren't the first group there. An embarrassment perhaps? Well, all the 4s got there before us and they have in a way, less outdoor experience than us. We basically cheated in setting up the tent. Ate way too much for dinner. It didn't rain at all. Perfect. I hate sleeping in tents, makes me feel so stiff all over in the morning.

There were lovely shower cubicles and I brought my towel along but the rest of the group members forbade me from washing- up. Boos! Apparently, we had to all smell terrible together.

The next day was not too good. We got lost twice because of crap map- reading skills and wrong directions given by random people. Walked extra. Got into trouble in the forest with the bees which kept insisting on flying at us and buzzing in that disgusting fashion. I hate insects (arthropods to be more specific, all of them!) and that noise which they never ever stop making. Oh and the feet. Walking is actually so painful. It's like this dull sensation of pain in both feet which just gets worse when you stop for a break. I suppose the key is just to keep walking despite the soreness.

Ooh, and when we were walking up a particularly long stretch of uphill, we saw a whole line of rich pussies (??) with nicely woven luncheon baskets driving antique cars. Tried asking them for road directions but they were like 'Oh, I don't know...' Good grief, they don't know the road when they're driving? Some joke. It's ridiculous. Shouldn't be so unhelpful just because you're heading to some stupid picnic yea.

I'm very happy with my decision to go running in the gym so often. I know that my stamina's improved tremendously, given the fact that all the walking didn't tire me out absolutely. More running. Wheeeeeeeee!

Anyway, the whole Bronze expedition didn't go too badly. A walk in the Cotswold is heaven compared to the High Pike, Low Pike, Windermere business back at the Lakes. And at least I didn't get any blisters or bruises so shouldn't be complaining really. I think I passed...

Love,
-xinying-

PS. I'm going home in less than two weeks time! How happy is that =)

Summer exeat

2006-06-19T15:42:00.000+01:00

It's extended exeat for the SFCs but not for me though. Me with no place to go. Apart from the usual Saturday and Sunday off, last Friday and today (Monday) are also legal SFC holidays. Basically, I've been stuck in the house for the last four days.

Well, I did surpass my relaxation expectations. Watched quite a few films- The Girl with a Pearl Earring, Constant Gardener, Carousel, Monty Python's The Meaning of Life and Legally Blonde 2.

I thought Carousel (by Rogers and Hammerstein) was pretty bad in the sense that the 'hero' or rather the protagonist wasn't even heroic at all. Billy Bigalow (the name already sounds quite ridiculous) is in short, a silly, conceited, hot- tempered, rude wastrel. The songs they wrote were fine. The storyline a bit...I sound so much like a movie critic. The point is Billy's led a short 'wastrel' life living off his relation (inherited through marriage) and being very unfair to his wife. He dies and is given the chance to return to Earth for one day to redeem himself. Anyway, at the end of the film, I felt that he still hadn't done enough to redeem himself. Dodgy.

Constant Gardener wasn't too bad. The theme of the show revolved around pharmaceutical companies testing their newly developed drugs on third world citizens (Africa in this case). I think a thought- worthy thing from the show is this: Tessa (a diplomat's wife) is travelling through a street in a car and she sees two little African children on their way home, they need to walk at least 40 more miles. She asks her husband whether they can give the children a lift and her husband says this 'We can't help every single child we see'. Tessa's argument 'These are two children we can help'. Likewise in another scene, Quayle is being airlifted out of a troubled region under attack from some armed bandits. He wants to take a little orphaned girl with him to safety but the aid agency representatives prohibit him from doing so. Their excuse, 'We can't help every single one of them'.

So, drug testing. Testing on animals has already stirred up a huge controversy in Oxford. What about testing on humans? Say, the uninformed (as in do not understand the consequences the tests will have on their health) impoverished people who have given their consent or those who agree only due to their poverty- stricken conditions ie. the tests for food swap. In the film, I can see where the drug companies are coming from. Those people's lives can be bought cheaply and what's even better is that they won't sue if anything goes wrong. Sacrifice these to save the rest of the world. But ethics...

Back to Tessa's argument. It's obvious one can't save every unfortunate soul in the world but would you stop to help one out of misery? Just one? Will it make a difference? Or would you put on your blinkers and disregard that one life ie. treat that one soul as a part of the millions you wouldn't be able to reach out to anyway? I guess the answer is pretty obvious to me, one is definitely better than none.

Pretty bleak huh?

***

Very annoying, today is the last day of exeat. School begins again tomorrow. Stop thinking about it okay, if it makes you feel weird. Think about the 'horrors' of school later.

Oh yes, what else did I do over exeat apart from watching movies? Well, I went shopping for my walking socks. The two big outdoor stores in town didn't have any decent female walking socks, they were all too thin for proper mountain walking (by that I mean trekking with heavy rucksacks). Despicable, do the manufacturers think that only men can walk? That's just a joke, they must have run out of stock. I wasted so much brain cells trying to find a Men's size S (the approximate equivalent of a Women's M which I can wear) and the weeniest one they had were only Men's M. Disgusting. Bought a pair of Men's M and left in disgust. When I got back to the house and tried them on, they fit like magic. Didn't know my feet were so big...All smiles now really.

I've been checking out the various B and B's around Victoria and the quickest way of getting from Victoria to Heathrow. My choices:

1) Take the Tube for £4 from Victoria to Heathrow Terminals 1,2 and 3 then take the free Heathrow express from Heathrow Central to Terminal 4. This is troublesome because I'll be carrying lots of luggage and I'll have to change lines twice. Furthermore, if there's an Underground strike, I can basically forget about going home. This takes about an hour but dependent on delays.

2) Take the Heathrow Express for £13 from Paddington. But I'm too lazy to go from Victoria to Paddington. And I hate trains.

3) Take the National Express for £10 to Heathrow Central then take the free Heathrow Express. This is by far the fastest and most reliable method.

I feel stupid, of course I should go for option 1. What in the world am I fussing about?

And should I apply for a student's National Express card for £10 which can only last me a year?

I dislike making decisions which involve money in them. Makes me worry.

Love,

-xinying-

Untitled

2006-06-14T17:22:00.000+01:00

Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite 'em,
And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum.
- Augustus de Morgan

Just a little quote from the book I'm reading now- Richard Fortey's 'Life: An Unauthorised Biography, A Natural History of the First 4,000,000,000 Years of Life on Earth'. I know, it does sound rather dreary but it's brilliant. Was reading stuff like how paleontologists classify fossils and assemble skeletons and guess what, today's biology lesson was about classification.

I also got another book I'm dying to read, 'A Concise History of the Modern World'. By the look of things, I'm obsessed with everything ancient.

That quote got me thinking. People just keep on discovering smaller and smaller well, let me just call them 'stuff'. They used to think that atoms were small enough but oh no, some smart guy had to tell the whole world about protons and the like. Now we have The Particles and their interactions which make up the study of particle physics. Atoms, protons, quarks ad infinitum. I suppose it's exactly the same for the big stuff. Our country, the Earth, the solar system, the Milky Way, the galaxy, the universe, who knows for sure where the End is. The quest is on, probing into the unknown. And of course, I read a book where the author was talking about humans trying to understand their brains using their brains. Cool.

Will there actually come a time where humans or any other being (remotely alive of course) finds out everything ie. the age of understanding and discovering the unknown will be at an end? Will there come a time when all our questions have been unlocked and answered? Historically speaking, some of the most fundamental questions are still yet to be answered.

Why are we here? What is the purpose of Life? If God didn't make us, who or what created the first what's- it- speck- of- thing which 'exploded' during the Big Bang? What will become of everything at the end of time?

***

Profound things aside, I've had such a sucky day.

My first A2 chemistry practical went so, so bad. I didn't finish the practical, thus missed such a great chance to observe the wonderful Group IV chemical reactions. There's absolutely no point asking Mr C to let me do it again during my free periods because the answer will definitely be 'No'. I miss Miss Cheong and the times when we could just repeat the experiment as many times as we liked (before the chemicals run out of supply) until we got the right results. Not only did I not complete the practical, most of the observations I put down were wrong. What's the matter with me? I know, I am just crap at practicals. 'Tis always been this way ever since I touched a test tube for the first time. Shit day.

Happily enough, Mr Morton and Mr Brewis are flooding my mailbox with 'Where's the Trangia from the Easter expedition? Return it by tomorrow!' I don't know okay. Just because it's borrowed under my name doesn't mean that I have it. Look here, when we went on the expedition, I only carried that Trangia for the first day. And when we were cooking, we borrowed another groups stove. Upon returning, everyone just chucked their Trangias in the store, some took stoves home to wash. In short, everything got messed and mixed up. Natsuki and I did try looking for 'our' stove during the cleanup but couldn't find it. Is it my fault? Sigh.

Yea yea, I should take responsibility for it since it's under my name. I'm such an idiot, should have let someone else collect it in the first place so they'll have to take charge of all these items instead. Bummer.

And I'm still fretting about my university choices. I'm starting to not want to go to university anymore...It's giving me a headache, all these choices. Fine, I know I'm rubbish at making decisions which may potentially have a major influence on the course of history (whoa!). Sometimes I wished I didn't have a choice, but then I would complain of course (ha ha). Wishy- washy. Yea that's me. When I think I've made up my mind, something or someone always has to come along and introduce a better idea. This is depressing, I confess I don't know what I want to do with my life. Honestly, I wish I had a crystal ball, just to see what the outcome is so I won't have to make decisions. Like look into the future and see what it holds for me. I'll just follow what that vision shows me.

Can't wait to retire. And I'm saying that before I've even started working. Absurd.

All this is very trying. You can't blame me for having no ambition. The thing is, I have very varied and wide interests. Forgot to mention that I'm fickle- minded too. Nearly everything seems to interest me (with the possible exception of law, business/economics related subjects, sports and architecture/interior designing). Everything I stumble across seems like another good idea. This is one of the reasons why I'm still thinking...

Must run off to pester *ahem* about the D of E planning stuff. Sigh. Why do I always have to be in charge?

Love,

-xinying-

PS. the other thing I wouldn't appreciate would be a course in management

Exam season

2006-06-05T20:38:00.000+01:00

Looking at the past few entries, I realised that I’ve been starting each of them with ‘It’s a long time since I’ve last visited this page…’ or something apologetic along these lines. So I’ve promised myself to start this entry with something a little more special but oops, looks like I’ve done it again. Encroached on this off- limits taboo phrase of the season. Bugger.

It’s now the last half of this term, which means that my first year here is nearly at an end. Lovely. Means I can get out of this school soon. But wait, it’s actually quite comfy here, a very sheltered and enclosed environment. Logically speaking, why should I or even anybody else want to leave? Nay, I want to leave and get back home quick. I’ll be home in about four week’s time. But I have my exams to get over with first. Pooh to exams.

Just did my three biology papers this morning and it was pretty bad. Well at least I thought it was. Paper one was unusually bad, considering I’ve learnt it before in HC and again here. Nasty horrid paper. A bit too much to write in an hour. One measly hour mind you. Paper two was okay, but after taking in the shock dealt by paper one, I can hardly remember anything about the next paper. I suppose it was fine. Hope I didn’t miss out any questions. Paper three was as weird as expected but I wish they hadn’t included so many problems regarding nutrition and feeding. I’d rather they set something about the nitrogen cycle, hey look, I spent ages remembering that one. It’s all over and there’s naught I can do about the disastrous morn (my standards are high), like they say, there’s no point crying over spilt milk. So bad…so bad…A B is not unexpected now at the look of things.

Mummy and Jie came over for the half- term. It was a good change, at least I didn’t have to go to Uncle Beng’s and get ‘forced fed’ massive quantities of fruit. Just joking, Uncle Beng’s and Auntie Tina are wonderful people. I did get to guzzle a whole bottle of Kaya, anchovy fried rice and curry which wasn’t too bad after all. Pity we couldn’t go out exploring, Jie and me. Why do exams always get in the way? I hear you say ‘It’s just a fact of life.’ Then I’d rather not grow up, I want to fly away to Never- Neverland with Tinkerbell. Summer, the wonderful sunshine and the long daylight hours, I feel so sorry for myself and all those shut up indoors. So this is what JK Rowling meant when she described Harry and Ron studying Divination indoors during the lovely summer month.

BBC’s got really great tele programmes. This amazing one about the Barbarians. Some really weird ones e.g. Honey we’re killing the kids and the obsessive compulsive I- can’t- stop- cleaning- the- house Anthea Turner one. Enjoyed watching all these shows after 5 weeks of TV deprivation. The thing I don’t like about a common room is that you’ve just got to watch the programmes the others are watching (which is usually teen rubbish or something insensible).

I miss home. Already! Mummy and Jie left yesterday evening.

Down to my last two chemistry practice papers before the real one on Wednesday. Good luck (Hey, I don’t believe in luck!), god bless (Who? Me? I’m a firm believer in Science, rational thinking and the Evidence Before Belief theory) and best wishes. Can’t afford to mess up this one.

Love,
-xinying-

2006-05-10T13:31:00.000+01:00

I haven't really got anything much to say. These few days have been terribly busy ones: got past year papers to do, uncovered Chemistry and Biology syllabi to finish and I still have to practice my Frankie guitar and keep up my fitness in the gym!

I have never felt more unprepared for an exam then now. Looking back, in RV they used to finish teaching months and months ahead so as to give maximum time for revision and preparation. England is so different. Disconcertingly different. What lack of preparation time. It's that sort of tiny, unpleasant sensation ever present at the back of the mind, constantly nagging and eating away into that originally rich source of confidence built up after years of exam- torment. Busy busy busy. Everyone's busy, face it.

I suppose there are some things I just won't come to understand. Like how people can do things half- heartedly especially if it's their job. Like the tennis coaching affair. The teacher IC has neglected to put my name on the list multiple times and has repeatedly messed up my lesson time slots. Hello, she's the teacher in charge of tennis coaching for field, it's her job to make sure that the students' lessons are properly timetabled. What else is she hired for?

And then it's the summer expedition dates. The teacher keeps forgetting to give the required information to me. Keeps. How on earth am I going to get an air ticket back if she doesn't settle the dates with me? Perhaps it's mean to make a judgement now, but some people just don't realise how much inconvenience they cause by 'accidentally' forgetting things or 'Ooops! It slipped my mind...Sorry'. Yes, it's good to know how to say sorry. But when sorry is said too many times, it doesn't mean anything to anyone anymore. Sorry would then become something said so as to get the crisis over and done with. Someone else cleans up after the leaky- brained 'Ooops I've forgotten it again' darling.

If you're given a task, don't 'just do it' as Nike says. Do it good. And do it as perfect as you can manage, without uncalled for glitches and hitches. The only exception might possibly be doing a routine, tedious exercise which would most probably not benefit anyone. I've noticed that I tend to make harsh judgements/ conclusions. It's not without reason. I know that I'm the sort of person who would aim to complete a task nice and proper, freak/ geek/ highly- strung/ afraid of criticism as some might say. Dunno.

'There are few whom I like, and even fewer whom I think well of.' A quote from Pride and Prejudice, recalled from the top of my head. I hope I'm not as extreme as that but trying to be more magnanimous is certainly not one of the easiest things to accomplish. I do marvel at those who can give others what is normally called 'another chance'. Say, a husband or maybe a sister who gambles. How can the victims of these people's vice ever forgive them. Gosh, I am so hard.

Expectations.

Expectations.

Makes me think of 'An Ideal Husband' by Wilde. Putting others on a pedestal which they daren't climb down from, afraid to lose the respect etc. from their family/ friends and so on.

How should we judge people? And according to what standards? Who makes these 'standards'.

Am I right to say 'That teacher is so inefficient'? But when you're feeling cross, all these thoughts just don't come. It's the angry, hateful feelings that gets to you first. The philosophising that comes later, and that's the one which can make you feel so bad.

Just my random thought for the day.

I know I sound miffed. It's just because I'm feeling exasperated with the people around me and I can't complain...

Hope I don't mess up my bit during the Physics prayers tomorrow by speaking too fast. I have this thing with talking at the speed of a bullet train. Slow down dear.

Love,
-xinying-

Recalled to life

2006-05-02T18:49:00.000+01:00

Mmm, I've neglected bloggie for a nearly an eternity. Starved of updates and dead due to abandonment, Blog, here I am! Recall thyself to life!

Okay, that's a perfectly silly opening but then again, if one's blog cannot function as a space for creative writing, complaints and an outlet to vent various sorts of abuses, I'd rather not have any at all. Well, so long as I'm not saying anything bad about the PAP or on my way to becoming the Chee Soon Juan reincarnate, bloggie should be quite, quite safe. Except from hackers. May there still be some good- hearted hackers left in this world...please don't delete my blog.

Anyway, I've been away for ages. The last entry was mainly a 'complain Queen' one on the expedition. The expedition actually went quite alright for the first two days until...I overstrained my knee (it's terribly unused to mountain walking you see) and developed bruises on my soles (because I didn't get proper walking socks and I hadn't broken into my boots yet). Great. The scenery was amazing, except for when it started to rain (which was almost all the time). The winds were hideously strong and fat as I am, it was absolutely challenging to endeavour to root myself firmly to the ground. Needless to say it was nearly impossible to walk in a vaguely straight line. We had wind, rain , snow, ice and clouds to cheer us along. After a long hard day of walk, it's extremely difficult to force oneself to get out the Trangia and set a fire going. All I wanted to do was just to go to sleep standing. The poorly set- up tent leaked rainwater and the flaps kept hitting my head all night long. The tent got nearly blown away in the morning...Trugdged along for the remaining three days with my leg crying out in pain with every step.

Things almost always have two sides to them. When it didn't rain, the sky was so blue and the mountains tall. They who rise silently and kingly, from the bowers of the Earth. The lakes were picturesque. Duh, that's why they call it the Lake District. Got taught proper map reading and navigation skills by Mrs Vincent who's like the best outdoor teacher in Coll. Though most of us didn't pass the training, the experience gained is forever.

Stayed in The Wyastone Hotel with Natsuki after the D of E. The hotel was like heaven after 5 days in so- so to horrid conditions. I don't mean to say that the hotel was good comparatively, the service and the rooms were brilliant. So hospitable and the room and beds were huge! Anyway...

Oooh, forgot to mention the tutors' dinner which took place before the end of term. Some pictures first before I start rambling on again.

Actually, I only intend to insert one picture. What's with the 'some pictures'?

I'm not an fashion fanatic neither am I so fashion- unconscious. I would describe my dress sense as casual. This time, Miss Ralph said NO jeans and relatively formal clothes. I didn't have anything in my drawers which fit that criteria and just happened to mention that fact to a matron. Lets call her X as she is underaged and her true identity cannot be revealed. Crap, the underaged part is nonsense. I thought X would surely have some constructive ideas and helpful comments to make, but oh no. Instead of acting like what a proper matron should behave, she said in a sickly sweet voice, 'It's the apathy girls. If you tried harder you will have...' Then she went on to say more random things. Like what the hell is wrong with her? Can't she understand that when someone says 'I really don't have anything formal', that person isn't lying?

Shall not bother with people like her.

April's come and gone. And so have the Easter holidays.

The three weeks back in Singapore was so good. I can't possibly write how lovely it was to be away from school and not having to see the usual faces. I love change! In the past, Singapore used to be the home- work- study place, now ironically, it is the ultimate holiday- fun- relax destination. I just can't wait for the summer holidays. There are so many things I want to do when I get back but so little time...

The Easter hols was mainly for revision and meeting up with people. I did get to eat all the Asian food I wanted to =)

Love,

-xinying-

AHHHH

2006-03-23T17:23:00.000Z

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Yes yes, I just want to scream out loud. I'm so tired and pissed and annoyed and and...Okay okay. It's nearly the end of term, which means I'm going home is no time at all. But, why must there always be 'buts' and 'howevers'? But, there's the D of E Lake District expedition in the way, a tiresome obstacle standing between me and home and happiness.

Bad news, I have to get my personal luggage all packed by like 8pm tomorrow night for storage in the Sports Hall. That, I'm nearly done with, just have to put in my shoes and travel documents at the last minute. But the whole thing is so sucky, Easter hols and I'm bringing back a whole stack of books, notes and past year papers to complete over the 3 weeks. What about going out? What about having fun? I mean, it's the Easter hols?! Those books will so weigh my luggage down. I will get charged with excess baggage...

The worst worst bit: packing for D of E. Oh my god. I have never ever ever been on any sort of outdoor hiking expedition, not to mention a D of E expedition. How on earth would I know what to pack and how to layer all my stuff in the tall rucksack? Good grief, I didn't pack in very many clothes but it's already taken up more than half the space. What about food? What about the stove? What about my platypus and thermos? Ahhhhh! So so stressed. What's more, the stupid idiotic sleeping bag won't won't fit into the rucksack. It's too bloody long. How am I supposed to carry it? Swing it around like a bimbo? The only available place has already been taken up by the thermarest. I really need to throttle somebody. Aha, will wait in ambush behind my room door and when someone passes by...I will jump out like a scorpion hiding in the sand and strangle that unfortunate soul.

Okay, you must be thinking 'this person is mad and a potentially dangerous homicidal maniac'. Yes, I must admit I'm near boiling point.

Why do I have to be born a girl? It's so unfortunate having your periods (I shouldn't be talking about this but I just need to pour out my feelings) when you're going on an expedition. Look at it logically, it's just gross not being able to bathe for like 4 days. Most shocking and unhygienic. Tried taking hormonal pills to delay it but It beat me to it, as in It struck first. I must have been emotionally disturbed, periods are affected by stress, emotional instability etc. something to do with the hypothalamus right? I really want to talk to daddy but he's in Bangkok with no M1 roaming. I'm not really talking sense am I? I don't care. I'm a bummer and a nutty loony.

Originally, I wanted to blog about more fun stuff eg. the tutor's dinner, the 3s Sound of Music production blah but I haven't the mood. What a pity. Woe is me.

Just hope I don't perish in the mountains or fall down a ravine and become paralysed for life.

Love,
-xinying-
The Unloved

PS. A bell is no bell till you ring it
A song is no song till you sing it
And love in your heart wasn't put there to stay
Love isn't love till you give it away
- Maria, The Sound of Music

How it makes sense!

Does it then mean, 'anger isn't anger till you vent it (on someone)'?

This is so totally random...

Halfterm (4)

2006-03-17T20:15:00.000Z

Hopefully this will be the last of my halfterm entries. Queer, very queer indeed. Halfterm only lasted a week yet I'm still not done with banging out my thoughts. Anyway, a photo of Rita and me which I did not manage to upload onto the previous entry due to technical difficulties.

Happy, full and contented. Leicester Square.

I shan't blog about Thursday because I did absolutely nothing on Thursday. Cheerful!

Friday

Met up with Christine at ICL's Queen Building. By the way, Christine's my RVCO pipa senior. Gosh, I really have to put in the overused and cliched phrase 'how time flies'. We were both in RV, I was a teeny sulky sec 1 and she was my sec 3 senior. Who would have thought that we would meet up in London exactly five years later. Freaky. It's ever so good to meet up with a fellow Singaporean when you're in a foreign land, it just reminds you of home sweet home (not the weather in this case). Creepy, how people and faces don't change...we could still recognise each other despite not having seen each other for quite some time.

She brought me to IC's canteen to have lunch. Well, food wasn't all that great, what can I say? It's England...duh. Speaking about canteens, I think the best food can be found in Singapore. Even the most low- class canteen or hawker centre is bound to have some tasty food. I miss Singaporean food. Rather amusing, me- a nobody having lunch with all the brainy people. Wow! Amazing.

After lunch, we went for a walk in Hyde Park. To Christine's horror, she realised that I had been to more places in London than she had, she stays right smack in central London whereas I live in Cheltenham mind you. Haha. London's a fantastically great place to spend a week, there's just so much to see and do. My favourite hangout(s): The British Museum, The Science Museum and the Natural Science Museum. Okay, I know this sounds so nerdy but come on, those places are really great and besides, admission is free too. I so love historical sites. Should make it a point to visit Windsor and the old Tudor palaces some day. Not forgetting Salisbury Plains's Stonehenge. Savour the richness of the land's history, delicious and totally charming.

Ah yes, more photos.

Christine looks as smiley as ever and I look pure strange. What's with that face? Muscle spasms. Us outside Imperial College Science and Technology building.

Riddle for the dummies: guess who's missing in this photo?

Me looking ridiculous.

I blatantly refused to take any pictures with the ducks and swans. Who knows, they might be carrying the dreadful H5N1 disease on them. No, that's not true, the bird flu thingy hasn't been reported in the UK yet, nothing to fear everyone. I just don't like birds because they love poo- ing on me.

Last noteworthy event of the day: Christine showed me round ICL. In the previous entry I talked about attending the ICL Medical faculty open day and not enjoying it very much, basically the open day tourguides didn't show us any science labs, lecture theatres etc. Christine's personalised tour provided a start contrast to the open day. She brought me to the computer lab (all plasma and flat screens), lecture theatre, science department and the junior common room. Sigh...in the RV we both knew, out of the 40 old fashioned and slow computers, more than half were permanently out of order. Memories...=)

Saturday

Followed Uncle Beng and Aunt Tina all the way to Oxford again to drop off food for the three hungry people. Felt pretty stupid as that was my second trip to Oxford in a week. Saw Po- Laine, Ed and James again. I love their cosy little house...I am determined to have a house like that in the future.

Anyway, followed them for a dinner party at their friend's (rich Malaysian Chinese middle aged couple) place somewhere north of central London in one of the posh residential districts. The houses there are so huge and look spectacularly grand. Dinner was so good, my favourite crispy aromatic duck. There was king prawns, achar (the spicy veggie thing), spicy minced otar and most importantly RICE! I tried my best to be good and polite. Well, I was the only young person, the rest were all married middle aged people haha. Needless to say, they kept trying to make me eat loads.

The host had this fascinating machine. You stand on it and key in your height, weight, age and gender and it would magically produce the percentage of water in your body, the percentage of muscle and fat, your obesity level and your metabolic age. Honestly, I thought that machine was crap. There's no way to determine fat/ muscle composition in the body without doing any more detailed analysis. How would standing on it determine all these? Uncle Beng was classified 'OBESE' by the machine and promptly refused to eat the next day's breakfast and lunch.

Sunday

The guardians took me out for a dim sum lunch (heh heh heh...I love Chinese food) with their two other...erm...young people they take care of. I have no idea what the noun to describe 'young people they take care of' is but there you go. As usual, they ordered loads of food. Photos?

Uncle Beng and me. I look retarded as always.

Shin Han (??), me and Steve (??). Me looking retarded once again.

Er...Uncle Beng sort of forgot the time and I was nearly late to catch the coach back to Coll.

This halfterm was great. Why? Because I hardly did any work. Hehe.

Love,

-xinying-

Halfterm (3)

2006-03-14T22:27:00.000Z

This is getting very, very draggy. I want to talk about today but I can't until I'm done with this...Why oh why does it take ages to blog about a week's happenings? The laptop's crazy, it's taking eternity to load...

Wednesday

In the last entry, I stopped after reminding myself that I got lost while taking the train from Oxford back to London. Reached some random and rather deserted (not to mention quiet) village but managed to get back to London safely.

Took the Tube all the way to Old Station and hopped off in search of Moorfields Eye Hospital to look for Uncle Beng and to 'tompang' all my shopping with him.

When I got out of the Underground, I saw this woman selling stuff by the roadside and I asked her 'Do you know how I...', and before I could even come to the subject of the question or make known the Topic of the Day, she said 'I don't know, I don't know!' Hey woman! At least she could have been more friendly or helpful. And even if she were a foreigner or unfamiliar with the place, she could have exercised more manners. Good grief! She reminded me awfully of the typical Singaporean 'aunty'.

The incident reminded me of a very similiar one which took place the halfterm before. I was looking for The British Museum and of course, I didn't know how to get there. Naturally, I asked a fluffy old dear how to get there, well, I chose to ask her because she didn't look potentially dangerous or anything like a mad serial rapist. She politely told me she had no idea and suggested that I ask the station officer. After I got the street directions clear, I was so surprised to see her still standing there. She asked me 'Are you clear about getting there now?' How sweet! I like nice, fluffy, white- haired old ladies!

Why do humans come in so many varieties? The rude ones and the sweet ones...I suppose it's due to the difference in upbringing. Perhaps if we had pseudocommunist state- run schools teaching everyone from a uniform syllabus coupled with the policy that all children belong to the State, then maybe everyone might be equally well brought- up. Not too bad heh?

Stop deviating.

Met Rita at the South Kensington Underground and we made our way to ICL's SAF (Sir Alexander Fleming) building. Okay, the guided tour was pretty bad (well, at least I thought it was). The tourguide showing us around spoke in a weak teeny voice which was impossible to discern above the background noise. She was endeavouring to converse with the ants, or rather the atoms within a 1 nanometre radius around her. Terrible...Besides the silent tourguide, the tour didn't live up to my expectations (by the way, I don't have terribly high standards). She brought us to the various departments within the medical faculty, however we only stood outside the department doors and admired the doors...absolutely ridiculous. ICL prides itself for possessing one of the best science facilities and yet we (potential students) were not shown any. The talk cum question and answer session didn't really help me a great deal. Most of the stuff they mentioned, I already knew from Medlink or the various uni prospectuses. Well, but at least I've been to an open day.

ICL isn't as pretty or picturesque as Oxford. It's too urbanised. Where are all my stone buildings and ducks?

Went to Leicester Square (aha, Chinatown!) to have dinner with Rita before she went back to Newcastle.

We spent ages looking for a budget dinner. Eventually we decided on this set dinner for 4. The two of us ate everything (which was meant for four people) and left with bloated, distended stomachs.

Love,
-xinying-

Halfterm (2)

2006-03-05T11:58:00.000Z

Heh, halfterm's been long over for at least 2 weeks and I'm still stuck on the second leg of the writeup. Miserable, lazy me. I blogged about Sunday in the previous entry so today will be all about *Monday* hurrah!

Monday

Ah. It's ever so great waking up on a nice sunny Monday morning and know that there's no school (unless you failed your exams and know that you can never ever return to school). Am I speaking incoherently? The sentence doesn't sound grammatically right but anyways...Spent the whole Monday morning lazying around the house and reading old newspapers. Sometimes I really wished I was a retired old dear with time on my hands to do the things I really want to accomplish. Not stuff like reading the newspapers in order to get past the interviewers for a prospective job or for a university application. I want to read and do stuff without an ulterior motive, just plainly for pleasure of the activity itself. That's why I dislike making aims and drawing up a 'goal chart' (as it were), it makes things less enjoyable and I feel as though I'm not doing myself (or the book in my hands, if I happen to be reading a book) any justice.

So much for Monday morning and by golly, I can still remember what happened on a Monday two weeks ago! Sometimes I do freak myself out quite a bit by remembering the queerest and most obsure things. I can still remember the normal distritbution probability value for a Z- value of 1.96. Phi (Z) is 0.0250 by the way using the percentage points table. I can remember facts totally irrelevant to everyday life or my field of study, say 1AU= 95 million miles and a brief summary of how the doppler effect works and its application to the expansion of the Universe hypothesis, but when it comes to things like 'explain the process or hormonal release during the menstrual cycle' which would be tested in the AS biology exam, my mind goes blank and uh oh...
I must really stop deviating and talking about random stuff. So Monday afternoon I went all the way to Whitechapel to meet up with Yiwen. Had lunch in Nandos. Ordered a quarter chicken with spicy rice and coleslaw (is this how you spell it?). Our table had two bottles of spicy peri- peri sauce and very spicy peri- peri sauce (which according to them, should only be tried by the very bravest). Bullshit. Very spicy isn't even three quarters as spicy as a drop of the Singapore Hainanese chicken rice chilli sauce. I want chicken rice. I crave for chicken rice. Wait four more weeks. Patience.

After lunch, she took me to Sainsbury's to do a bit of shopping. Aha, not the clothes and lipstick shopping but grocery shopping! Good good, now I know more about life as a medical student. Haha, the two of us weren't very experienced super grocery shoppers and we had some trouble figuring out which sort of chocolate to get for baking, where to find rolled oats and how to source for the cheapest lemon. But we did get everything in the end.

Went to her house to do some baking: a crusty delicious looking (according to the cookbook) salmon pie. Sounds good right? Cooking and cutting the broccolis and salmon went fine, easy enough for a cooking sucker like me. We didn't have a piping bag for the crust...Desperate times call for desperate measures, we just used our hands (washed them first of course) to spread the 'kind of still hot but warm' pastry on the oven- able bowl. Dumped all the remaining ingredients onto the crust and chucked it into the oven. Well...it didn't taste all that bad, could have added more salt though. The crust, sigh, the sides were a bit thick and the base, rather thin (by logical deduction of course). But it was good. Left Yiwen with 2 more days worth of salmon pie.

Went to the Royal London Hospital to wait for Uncle Beng. Instead of taking me home straightaway, he showed me round his department, the genitourinary centre (something like that, the name was awfully complicated). I call it the Sex Centre in private. He gave me loads of health leaflets to take away and read ('...but I don't have STDs...' I protested in vain) haha. And I got to see microscopic images of lice from you- know- where and little germy things. He meant to give me some free samples of condoms but I think he forgot or perhaps didn't due to my violent 'what will I do with them...' protests. Argh, should have got those condoms, they're perfect for storing water during an expedition...sigh.

This is Monday in a nutshell.

Tuesday

Went to Oxford with Huda and Zakiyyah to have a look round the place. Woke up at 6 just to catch the train, stupid me...will not buy early train tickets in the future. Po- Laine was the honourary tourguide for that morning. Visited about five or six colleges in all: Christchurch, Worcester, Merton, Hertford, the red- bricked Keble and St John's. Ready for some pictures?

The Christchurch dining hall. Amazingly grand. Apparently this is the Harry Potter dining hall...Me, Po- Laine and Da(h). Note the prospectus =)

Zakiyyah, me, Da(h) and the gorgeous dining hall

Apparently Christchurch is such a filthy rich college, it even charges tourist admission fees just to look at the place. Haha, I got in there for FREE! Here's the secret:

- For grownup tourists, just find a kid (a teenager would be most convincing) and tell him/ her to clutch an Oxford prospectus. Tell the security guard that your child is most interested in applying to Christchurch college in the future. And you get to go through free! Just make sure the guard doesn't see any flashing cameras and don't don't DON'T mention anything about Harry Potter or wanting to see weird stuff.

- For real prospective students or Oxford student wannabes (like me), just hold a prospectus and tell them you're interested in applying. The colleges really welcome prospectives to look around.

Aaah, and remember Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone? Before they were sorted, Neville lost his pet frog Treville. The Christchurch stairway is the very one leading to the Great Hall where McGonagall gave them their very first introduction to the Hogwarts sorting ceremony in the film.

The three of us went round Oxford town to do a bit of shopping. Then we went to Po- Laine's house. Nice comfy house. We ate chocolates, had caramel McVities with tea and met James and his fascinating smoking device (still don't know how it works though). Then we went out again to explore the town. Visited the Ashmolean Museum and got my little ankh which will grant me eternal and divine life (I shall continue to live even in the afterlife), I will name it Ankhie (rhymes with my guitar Frankie okay). My god, the university is so rich, they even have their own store of antiquities! Got birthday presents for two people (one of them didn't even say thank you when it was given to her and my name was on the card?! No more presents for you in the future then! Huda and Zakiyyah left the place at night leaving me to spend Valentine's day with Po- Laine, Ed and James. I was so extra =( anyways...

Dinner was good really, I remember it (told you I remember these sort of unnecessary things). Erm...ham and spinach for starters, risotto as the main course and ice cream with strawberries for the dessert. Important important lesson the three of them imparted: find a flatmate who can cook and is willing to help do the cleaning up or life will be hell! They spent one hour (one hour!)deciding whether to bring me to their college bar, the pub or to stay in and watch the telly. In the end, washed up the dishes with Po- Laine, watched a juggling act put on by James and the film 'Hitch' (rather pointless show actually) which Ed cycled all the way to the store to rent.

So amazed with my memory retention power.

Wednesday

Left Oxford early in the morning for London.

The problem with taking the train is that you must know where it terminates in order to hop onto the correct one. I didn't. Didn't as in didn't know where it terminated and didn't hop onto the right one. In this case, two wrongs don't make a right.

I got onto this train (which I thought was the correct one at that time) which was meant to reach Reading Station in 45 minutes time. Passed by a lot of unfamiliar scenery, I tried reassure myself by thinking 'must have slept on the journey here so obviously didn't take in all of this, no wonder it's unfamiliar', but there was this nagging worry. The names of the stops began to freak me out, horrid names like 'Appleford' and 'Goring and Streatley', I was sure I hadn't seen all these names on the way here. Couldn't take it, thus got off and found myself in this random village in the middle of nowhere. Sure enough...lost!

My god, I was so scared and hard pressed for time because I had to make it to Imperial College by 12 to meet up with Rita for the open day. In my plan, before meeting up with Rita, I had intended to go and dump my stuff at guardian's house or with Uncle Beng at St Barts. All my plans were thwarted. Stupid train, stupid stupid me. The station guy wasn't very helpful. He told me to take the next train. He gave me such a black face that I didn't want to ask him more. Hello, there are two platforms...the next train on which platform? Do I have to change trains? What about my ticket? Silly man. Wasted loads of time waiting.

Arrived back in Paddington a whole hour later than originally planned. Was so worried that I would have to pay extra because of wrong time, wrong ticket, wrong train blah blah. No one found out.

Take #1 - Chucked the ticket away in relief.

Take #2 - Crumpled the ticket viciously and aimed vehemently at the dustbin with the pathetic remains of the ticket squashed tightly in my balled- up fist. (drama drama)

Love,

-xinying-

PS. shall continue Wednesday#s story some other time. Good grief, I'm only at Wednesday...when will I ever finish blogging about the halfterm?

Halfterm (1)

2006-02-22T10:15:00.000Z

Ah ha. Time for some boring updates on my well- spent (?) halfterm. Let's start with Friday. Last last Friday.

Friday

The coach journey was okay. I wish they'd give more leg room and a wider buttock space. As usual, the coach was noisy with girls shouting (they don't seem to possess the ability to talk as in speak at normal amplitudes) and some bitching about their 'friends'. Oxford was the first stop.

Then someone wanted to pee quite desperately.

The teacher said no.

If I were her enemy, the arguing scene would be really hilarious. The girl was initially begging to be let off the coach to find a toilet. The teacher refused. The girl then quite naturally changed her tone and began reasoning then arguing. Okay, anyone in that desperate situation would get pissed off with the teacher. I mean, it's only natural to make regular and sometimes frequent trips to the loo, that's the way the human body functions. What else could we do with all that liquid and urea? Transpire...The teacher's refusal was based on the assumption that all girls who leave the coach for that short period of time would hide in some corner and take drugs or harm themselves. According to her, the Principal bans any girl from leaving the coach if they aren't dropping off at that location. I really don't know what to make of this whole business. In the end, the girl prevented herself from pee- ing on the coach for another 2 hours before we arrived at Paddington. I wouldn't want to be in her place.

The school should really hire a bus with toilet facilities, like the ones used by the National Express.

As a concerned guardian, Uncle Beng called to ask when I would be reaching Paddington. Unsurprisingly, I hadn't a clue. The English countryside basically looks the same to me, all green with rolling hills, charming to phrase it simply. The towns all look the same too, with their oldish buildings and lack of high- rise skyscrapers (relatively speaking when compared to Singapore). Anyway, I just estimated a time, 830pm. I could always wait by the roadside.

Time always proves me wrong and I reached at 810pm. Horridly cold and I rang to 'hurry him' or rather make my arrival known. Couldn't get through as there was no connection. Great. I thought I was doomed to stand shaking in the cold for another 20 minutes. I later found out that he was having a nice hot teh- tarik in some Malaysian restaurant...and me shivering in the cold! But it's okay. A bit of cold can toughen one up, besides I was quite thankful I didn't have to take the Tube all the way to Lee by myself. What's a little bit of cold?

Had a great Malaysian dinner with curry chicken, rendang, mee goreng, vegs and rice. Rice. Real Thai fragrant rice, not the fake Italian or undercooked sort the school keeps cooking for supper.

Saturday

Nothing much really. Just went to the Lewisham shopping mall with my guardians. Bought a new warm fleece hoodie. I never fail to declare to the world that I hate the colour pink, and strangely enough, almost all the clothes I buy and own are coloured pink. This time wasn't an exception.

Rushed to finish the Bio coursework. Tedious thing.

Sunday

The guardians brought me to Ramsgate- a nice little coastal town somewhere in Dover I should think. Took me along because they were there to visit a friend and for convenience sake, let's call her Cheryl. Actually, her real name is Cheryl...

Cheryl has this really chubby, cute, blond, talkative granddaughter. Oh yes, forgot to mention the big eyes. Big eyes. Gosh...Even though that was the first time she (talking about the granddaughter here) was meeting me, she gave me a big hug and dragged me off to play jigsaw with her. Sociable babies are always nice. This tod was okay because she didn't even cry or pout and wasn't too hyperactive. I'm mortally afraid of hyper kids because my aging metabolic rate doesn't allow me to keep up with them. Need more iodine. Cheryl also has four cats. Nice, fat, rolly- polly cats with soft, silky fur to cover their fleshy bodies. Okay, I think I sound like a cat- eater here. Actually, I DO sound like I'm hungry for cat meat, good grief! But I was kept entertained.

Went for lunch with Cheryl and her family and another family (friends of the guardians).

Love,
-xinying-

Continue next time

First things first

2006-02-20T10:57:00.000Z

Yesterday was the last official day of the spring halfterm and the first day of The Great Depression. The grownups always say, 'Lookie here young person (spoken with a patronising air), you should be eternally grateful to be able to attend school...we had to cope with the war!' Yes yes. It makes sense. But almost all normal kids feel sad to wave goodbye to the hols, unless you're Harry Potter and bursting with anxiety to leave the Dursleys, that is. Enough moaning, at least I did have a good nine days of 'short- lived' happiness.

Yes, I do want to blog about the fun fun halfterm but I shall postpone that entry to later and write instead on something weighing too heavily on my mind...good grief, it's sinking! Let's get over with the bad things first and keep the good nice bits for later, the way all happy- ever- after stories go.

Guess what...stupid higher education. Surprised? I just hate thinking about it. Medicine or not? If not, what else? Urgh...I don't want to end up jobless, papa's not a trillionaire. But what job? Okay, I still stick to my 1) hate building bridges, 2) saving the worthless lives of serial rapists, 3) teaching pesky little people and 4) standing around showing people things (shopkeepers, hotel staff blah). I cannot do any of those. That narrows the career- o- scope down to Science. I didn't mention anything about the liberal arts or humanities but face it, I can't be bothered to write and besides, I haven't a clue about the rules of grammar. Can't do music too, most naturally untalented.

So, we're left with science.

Glorious science.

Like a tree, science has many branches, or shall we say, roots. What aspect of it? Medicne? I fully, totally, absolutely and strongly agree that medicine is a good choice. If not, why would there be so many medics around, they're not thick, very intelligent good people they are. I would encourage everyone else to take up that wonderful profession (just don't compete with me for a place at uni okay). But mommy and daddy, you know perfectly what I think of medicine. Uncomfortable with surgery, despairing over the necessity to memorise long medical terms and not too keen on helping. You know how selfish, mean and Scrooge- like I can get, don't you? In short, not wildly passionate about the whole idea of medicine. In fact, biology at school isn't that interesting...When I learn a new fact, it's like 'okay...yeah...if you say so...' instead of the positive, fiery 'Cool! How amazing! Never knew that. Gimme MORE!' The human system, yeah, fine with that.

The whole point is that I don't mind taking up medicine. However everyone here says 'Young person, you must find a job which you would be happy with for life. For life...you're going to be stuck at it for a long, long time you know. No space for regrets whatsoever...' No no, I'm not the kind who regrets things for life but what about my Physics? My problem in a nutshell: I might not regret taking up medicine but I will regret not studying Physics.

Then there comes in the problem about practicality, job opportunities...I don't know.

Don't want to think about it yet compelled to. I wish I had a crystal ball, want to find out the outcome, wish I had someone to tell me what to do and give me a direct command. But whatever it is, don't force me. See...I'm contradicting myself.

Dear Aunt Agony,

Poor confused soul here. Tell me what to do.

Love,
-xinying-

Pathetic.

More updates

2006-02-04T22:16:00.000Z

I don't quite remember where I left out from the previous post. So many things have happened. Oh yes, Chinese New Year.

Initially, the school changed the SFC yoga venue and instructor from the Beale drawing room to the GCR and from Dr Laver to this Ros Camp person. Well, I prefer having yoga in Beale. Duh. It's my house so I don't have to specially travel to other houses. Dr Laver also makes a fantastic yoga instructor too, wasn't too enthusiastic about changing teachers. The only good thing is, yoga in the GCR at Coll means that I am entitled to tea and Coll serves much, much better tea than the ones the Beale kitchen staff make. Anyway, they've moved yoga back to Beale. So much for the tea and whatever else. Mmm, on Monday Dr Laver helped me get into this 'bridge' position. Oh my back, my poor back. Don't suppose I'll ever do that again, that pose is impossible for me to get into on my own. But yoga is good.

The other days were more or less normal.

Took part in a group Chemistry practical competition this morning; VAM or Valid Analytical Measurement. Okay, in more enlightening terms, a titration competition. Supposed to make up this standard solution using potassium blah blah phthalate crystals, but they didn't give the mass needed in the question paper, and on purpose. How wicked. Then we had to make up another standard solution of ethanoic acid. The organising body issued each group with only ONE vial of the acid solution, mind you, just ONE vial so no room at all for the slightest mistakes. The subtle instructions were to pipette 25ml from the vial with an unknown volume of acid into a beaker. Guess what, my group messed up. Didn't really understand the instructions and forgot about the other alternative; clarifying with the teachers, but just dumped the whole lot of vinegar into the beaker. Screwed up of course, just 10 minutes into the 3hour long competition. Not much point in continuing so left the lab. Wasted. But I'll be back next year and my group will win. Haha.

This week's rock climbing was much tougher than last week's one. Only managed to get to the top of one wall. My arms tired much quicker this week. I wonder why. Indoor rock climbing's fun in a strange way, as I've said before, tiring but satisfying even if you don't get to the top.

Went for this Canton Road charity thing by the Anglo Chinese society. Firstly, the Anglo Chinese society should be renamed the Anglo HongKong society. I mean almost all the members are HK girls...And by naming the charity event Canton Road, 'Canton' for the Cantonese representing the population of Hong Kong. Anyway, it doesn't really bother me, I'm not in that club. They promised a Chinese meal. Well, it was okay I suppose, never like mommy's home cooking or Crystal Jade. The lemon chicken tasted strangely of McDonald's chicken nuggets...Oooh, why don't these foreigners learn how to cook Chinese food properly?! Sigh. Look's like we Chinese are superior when it comes to literature, cooking, culture etc. I got rice at least and that's better than cheesy cauliflowers =) Ooh and they were also selling dried barbequed pork, haha, got my rou4 gan1 at last. But the packeted portions were so small...

Just read this fascinating article in The New Scientist on how science is related to religion and the hypothesised history of religion. So interesting. It's a hard article but I'll get through. I will!

Love,
-xinying-

Happy Chinese New Year

2006-01-29T21:03:00.000Z

Saturday (yesterday)

Okay, I haven't been blogging for ages. Reason, always 'busy'. I was genuinely busy yesterday. Had the usual Saturday morning sessions which are more or less rather unnecessary but compulsory. I signed up to listen to this talk by the woman who sort of invented Viagra (most probably she was part of a team of people who did the work together). It looked scientifically interesting on the sign- up sheet, I mean how often do you get famous female scientists giving a speech? The actual speech, not too bad but a little disappointing. They actually never told us the title of the speech! Thus, through the whole thing, I was left trying to piece all the bits of information together and link it to some mysteriously unknown 'idea' whence it all gravitates towards. Then halfway, this old lady toppled off her chair and banged her head on the floor's metal drain. Good grief. Didn't stay back for the posh lunch in the GCR because I had to hurry off for rock climbing.

Rock climbing wasn't bad at all. This week, we climbed more walls than the previous. Indoor rock climbing is a really satisfying activity, especially when you make it to the top and look down at all those beneath. The 'falling' part where the belayer lets you down inch by inch can be said to be the most gratifying bit. It's like a fun reward after climbing up so high and hard. Mr Morton and Mrs Vincent are good outdoor teachers because of the constant stream of encouragement they shout at you from ground level. Finished off with the usual aching arms and sore fingers. Must work on my arm muscles and finger power.

Due to the Cheltenham Town versus Newcastle football match, the matrons banned all girls from going into town yesterday in fear that some drunken football maniac roaming around the High Street might come along and bash our heads or something. Well, that's a perfectly valid reason. The notoriety of British football fanatics is well- known around the world. I have this vague hunch that Cheltenham Town lost, what do I care anyway...football is so not my thing. Ms Ralph got us some DVDs for a in- house movie to make up for it all. Watched 'The Island'.

As with all science fiction movies, The Island brings up the issue of cloning for therapeutic purposes. Instead of growing a single organ in a petri dish and the like, one business- minded doctor created walking, talking, intellectually normal clones and 'reared' (if you like) them in this mega futuristic complex. To crush the littlest developing buds of natural human curiosity, all the clones get memory implants and were taught since their creation that they had been saved from some horrible 'Contamination' that devestated the whole of the outside world. However, in all stories, there is a beginning, a problem, turning point and resolution. Problem; Ewan McGreggor's 'Lincoln' clone goes around and pokes his nose into everything and realised that there's something fishy going on. The middle to end part of the show was a bit of a let- down with loads of exploding cars and gunfights. Sigh.

The issue: therapeutic cloning and the abuse and violation of so- called 'clone rights'. At which stage do you harvest the organs for transplant? Is it the embryotic stage or perhaps will the harvesting have to take place at the clone's mature adult stage? Is it right to grow and sacrifice this 'other you' in order to save yourself from death? The 'other you' is in no way less human than you are in any way, save its (no, his/her) birth. Where ethical and scientific issues clash, there is no one right answer. Perhaps humans just have to accept the fact that birth, life and finally death all come in a 'buy one, get two free' package. How can one fully comprehend what life is when he/she has absolutely no idea of what death is? Okay, this sounds so philosophical...Being the more pro- science individual, I say that an increased obsession with ethics and morals impede scientific advancement but of course the question of conscience comes in...

Sunday (today)

Happy Chinese New Year to one and all!

Woke up real early and hit the gym with Zakiyyah and Natsuki this morning. I really have to work on increasing leg power, raising stamina, decreasing hip fat, tightening abdominal muscles and gaining arm power. Lots to do and so little time. Train train train. It's amazing how fit one feels after returning from the gym. Hooray for exercise!

For lunch, the kitchen staff attempted to cook a Chinese lunch for us. Well, no prizes for guessing how they fared. Of course, it didn't look or taste anywhere near Chinese but at least I got my rice...Not complaining...Went to Waitrose (a big supermarket near St Hilda's) to look around. Nothing special really, but I'm quite in love with their interior design. Somehow, the whole place looks large and clean and what my dream supermarket looks like.

Supper by the kitchen staff was absolute rubbish; just rolls and tomato soup. Good grief, how can anyone survive on that? Got a Chinese takeaway from Emerald, not as good as mommy or Jie's cooking but will do. The stupidest part was like Dawn, Zing and I were panicking because Ms Ralph wouldn't let us out (Sunday night out is a prefect's priviledge, we're not prefects so going out for dinner was out of the question) and we didn't know the phone number of any of the restaurants. In the end, we realised the presence of the thing called 'Internet'. Moral: keep cool in times of a crisis and all will be fine. I'm so full now. I bet there's too much MSG in the food, drank like 1 litre of water in the last two hours. God, can hardly breathe right.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. can't wait for half term and end of term!

Spring Exeat

2006-01-22T21:02:00.000Z

The fixed exeat was at Elizabeth this time round. I just packed two sets of clothes to bring along with me and not forgetting my pillow and bulky duvet. Thank god I didn't throw the duvet and pillow case away when settling down last year, if not I would have to carry it all in a rubbish bag all the way to Elizabeth and look like a burgler.

Watched Monster- in- law after Friday night's dinner. After the show, stood with Helen at the windows to watch the stars and spot planes. We didn't see the Milky Way. At around midnight, we felt hungry so hastened to the coffee area to make toast. The first night in Elizabeth, we set off the fire alarm! Well, it wasn't our fault really...The coffee area was small, the window (notice it's singular, not windows) unopenable and the stupid rickety toaster emitted smoke. The ever faithful ultra sensitive fire alarm went off of course all thanks to poor ventilation and the dangerous household appliance. The whole first floor smelt of burning toast...We made everyone run frantically to the assembly point (they knew this wasn't the usual fire practice as they genuinely smelt smoke) in the dead of the night. Oh dear, I just hope word of this doesn't get out, I'll be murdered in my bed...

The toast was burnt and the whole business put us off eating anything else.

Woke up late on Saturday morning. Went down to town with Zakiyyah and Huda to get my daily essentials, toothpaste and the like. The moment I stepped out of Elizabeth, a damn bird pooed on my nice new black coat, the wet, sticky and dripping kind. I couldn't help but notice it's poo was yellow in colour. Interesting colour for shit...Gave the coat to Mrs Gregory and she offered to wash it with nice- smelling powder and stuff for me. Just how sweet can she get...aww! Then walked all the way from Elizabeth to the Sports Hall with Helen to sit in the middle of the football field to stare at the sky and stone. Then we walked all the way to the railway station and back. Sounds stupid but the best way to keep fit and waste time is to walk, and considering the good weather (a tad chilly), it's good exercise. Felt uber strong and healthy when I got back. Played Bona's pipa too!

After a rubbish supper of oily sausague in short crust and fried sausagues (good grief, what's happened to Jamie Oliver's healthy eating in schools programme?), went to watch Titanic in the huge drawing room. Hmm, actually this is the first time I've watched the full and complete version of Titanic. Gosh, I'd really hate to be the people stuck on board. Then watched another film with Natsuki.

Went to the gym as usual on this morning (Sunday) then went out for lunch with Natsuki, Jes and the HK girls. Oh my, the feeling of eating real Asian food is amazing. Real, not like the fake sort the dining hall staff come up with. Roast duck rice, beef udon, fried rice, spring onion with chicken and ginger rice and char siew noodles. Yummmm. But of course, I didn't eat all of that. We called all those stuff and shared it, more variety you see. Ohhh, I love Chinese food!

Some idiot's lighted a bonfire and now my hair stinks of smoke. Bleah, gotta wash it again.

Love,
-xinying-

Boring

2006-01-19T10:06:00.000Z

My life is becoming more boring.

The authorities shifted the 'block Internet' time forwards again. This time, to a cruelly early 11pm. Don't you understand people, the night's still young! Loads of time for online news listening blah. But I'm way too tired to complain any more. I suppose speaking to them would just like trying to persuade a drug addict wannabe not to take drugs. Useless. When I found out about this crass policy, I was so angry that I deliberately stayed up to read my storybook. See here, blocking the Internet isn't a way to make little kids like us go to bed early. Pooh to you!

Yesterday's prelim round on the Biology coursework experiment went quite well. I was afraid that milk (undiluted with any enzyme) wouldn't register a reading on the colorimeter and that the whole thing would be screwed. Luckily, it all went rather well. Fixed the values for the 'recipe' of stuff needed and got okay results. Not brilliant as I would've hoped for but okay. Need to fiddle with the timings of the experiment to improve things a bit. Well, I'm boring you with all these...I know. Told you my life's getting boring.

Oh yeah, suddenly I remember the Chemistry practical the class did last Monday. Poisonous! We were made to combust a variety of fuels (methanol to hexan- 1- ol and the like). Spent a rather relaxed 2 hours burning the smelly liquids. Now I know what it's like to be an employee working at a petrol station, you can intoxicated with those fumes (and god knows if they actually do any harm to your body)...Is it safe to burn fuels without masks? Wouldn't inhaling too much of the stuff be a potential health hazard? I feel like a poisoned catalyst, nevermind, poor analogy.

***

Aaah and currently in the UK, there's this thing about employing sex offenders in schools. Not too sure whether it's people who have previously committed those crimes or just the suspects etc. But whatever it is, isn't the scheme just crazy? You can accuse me of being unforgiving and biased against ex- prison convicts but the fact still remains that they did commit such crimes before. If the government or school were to employ them, wouldn't young children be an easy target for those who haven't turned over a new leaf yet? Of course, there are some who are bound to feel deep remorse for their past actions but it simply isn't possible to read the human soul clearly. Who knows what goes on in their minds. How is it possible to confirm if they've really learnt from a past jail experience or still perverted up there? As there is no possibility of drawing a definite conclusion about these people (I'm sounding so offensive again) and their morals, it is best not to engage them in the teaching profession or anything directly related with schools and children. After all, we often hear of 'serial rapists' in the news...

***

This coming Saturday is exeat. Quite looking forwards to spending a quiet time by myself and hopefully, eating out in some Chinese restaurant.

There's a pimple on my earlobe and it's always getting in the way of my earring. Stupid pimple.

Love,

-xinying-

BEWARE!

2006-01-14T17:31:00.000Z

Look who's watching...Big Brother's gonna track your every move, so take care and make sure to toe the line.

My desktop wallpaper

Some call the running of these things a 'Nanny State', one in which the authorities have a nearly total control of everyday things and the decision- making. Supposedly for the benefit of the people (slightly dim and weak- minded, with the tendency of perpetually making the wrong choices). Well, maybe I shouldn't even have bothered with getting a laptop in the first place given the number of restrictions.

Or perhaps, they may view us as a precious little lump of stuff which cannot afford to be exposed to the evils of the World. I take it that they endeavor to nuture us into pure, good and industrious people without the addiction to games and chat etc.

Take no offence, these words are spewed from the mouth of one who may not be absolutely neutral and is prone to offending others.

Anyway, Perspectives on Science today was tolerable. The magazine article we were made to read was enlightening and meaningful. Using giant pouched rats to detect minefields in Africa. A brilliant way of making them pesky rodents useful and loved. The discussion was alright. Somehow things get a little boring when none of one's friends are in the same session. Okay, don't look at me and don't accuse me of clique- ing with the Asians. The fact is that they're easier to make friends with and more friendly because they're new too.

Starlab was okay. Was the only Asian and new girl in that session. Sucks? I don't know...Watched how to set up the delicate equipment and giant inflated tent. The stars projected on the roof of the dome was quite cool.

Rock climbing was good though. 3 LC1s and 3 SFC1s. Got taken from Farnley to this big outdoor centre with loads of rock walls and bouldering walls. We put on our pointy rock- climbing shoes, helmets and harness and were ready to start. Learnt a bit of bouldering first. Bouldering: climbing a rock face without ropes or any sort of safety equipment. Sounds dangerous, I bet it is and certainly won't be attempting anything of this nature in the forseeable future. Then we got on to a bit of basic rock- climbing. Did the figure- of- eight knot, the belaying and of course, the climbing. Tiring on the fingers and arms, but that's to be expected in one who has non- existent muscles.

Forced to go for this church service tomorrow. I don't mind going for it but it happens to clash with my gym time and calling home time...sigh. Have to shift everything and can't call home early. It sucks.

Love,

-xinying-

School again

2006-01-12T20:36:00.000Z

It was terrible having to leave home again for school. School. I've never really liked that word, ever since I was a kid. I don't quite remember my first nursery school experience or the associated feelings, that was ages ago. They tell me I deliberately fell and hurt myself in order to avoid being separated from my family. That is rather hard to believe, how could I have been so devious and scheming? Where did all the intelligence go? Then they say I got sick everyday and threw up each morning's breakfast like Old Faithful (you see, I did my vomitting act on a regular daily basis). How I managed to coax myself to regurgitate everything, I have long forgotten that tactic but it certainly does come in handy at times.

Going back to College this time round definitely wasn't as disastrous as previously mentioned. Determined not to cry or be a softie, I did not look back after entering the boarding areas. To the onlooker, I must have appeared very rude not to wave or blow kisses at my family who had taken time off to see me safely to the airport. But it couldn't be helped. When something unavoidable to a mildly distateful nature awaits you, the last thing you'd want to do is to look back and start wishing and regretting. Thankfully, I didn't make that fatal error of turning around to wave a last goodbye.

Something went wrong with the plane ticket bookings on the travel agent's side therefore there were no economy class tickets left. I was left with two options; wait till a later date before returning (but that meant a delayed return by almost a week), or buying a more expensive available ticket to back me back in time for the Spring Term. Daddy chose the latter. He put me on Swiss Air business class. Wow! I had wanted to travel in business class for a long time, after tasting the luxury of SilkAir First Class (hmm...I only remember that the seats were ridiculously big, but that could be because I was tiny child).

Honestly, I was really nervous when I got the High Class Lounge Entry Ticket. I was seriously scared. I had this weird idea that the airport staff would throw me out of the lounge because I didn't look old/ rich/ elegant enough. My fears were allayed when I saw that most people in the lounge wore casual clothes and looked like simple beach- going tourists. That set my mind at ease. No one looked twice.

Travelling via Swiss Air business class is one experience I wouldn't want to forget. The leg- room was so long. The seats were wide and spacious (comfy enough, I reckon for a fat bloke). Not only that, they were so high- tech. Lots of luminous buttons on the armrest. Amazing. But my self- consciousness got the better of me again. I didn't want to appear a stupid country bumkin and make a fool of myself by testing the function of each button, thus I started to spy on the woman next to me and how she operated the chair (she was doing it like a seasoned business class traveller). They served drinks, no such service if you're in economy class mind you.

However, I couldn't really make head or tail of the announcements. Most of it was in French, German and probably Italian. Tucked away somewhere in between, the captain did say a few words in English.

The dinner was superb. Beef steak! Gosh, compared this to the prison- like box sets which economy class passengers get. The beef wasn't served in the plastic box as I expected but in white ceramic dishes to add to the posh- ness. They kept serving drinks and 'offering' bread. A tad annoying like didn't I just say no...The meals came very frequently and often at the end, the steward/ stewardess would offer exquisite little pieces of Swiss chocolates and Danish pastries. Am I making you hungry (possibly jealous)?

Dad told me that I needn't get off the plane during the refuelling in Thailand. But in the end, I had to. It disrupted my sleep. Nearly got lost in the airport and the crowds, whoa! Lesson: join the shortest queue possible and always ask where the boarding gate is. Strange...I got mistaken for a Thai and this random airport officer started giving me instructions in Thai.

Surprisingly, when I reached Heathrow, there wasn't even a queue in sight at the immigration. Only a mere four people in front of me! I cleared the customs and got my luggage in under 20mins. Amazing.

Met Fiona at the National Express waiting point. Haha.

Now I'm back in school again. I hate being away from home...

Love,
-xinying-

PS. hope to go rock climbing this Saturday.

Syonara Singapore

2006-01-07T04:11:00.000Z

Hey, this is my last entry in Singapore before I fly back tonight. Wheeeee! It's so horrid, I've only been back for about two short, miserly weeks and now it's back again to school. I don't suppose I'll update blogger for the next few days (busy little bee), will be busy studying for tests and occupied with flicking the specs of dust off my bookshelves. *cough cough*

Yesterday was a very productive day. Bought all the essentials left on my shopping list. Daddy finally managed to get hold of the plane tickets (and for a moment I thought I would not be able to fly back) and mommy went for her laser treatment. Started packing and now I'm almost done.

Some photos taken during Jie's birthday dinner.

Great...and I'll be missing Chinese New Year. Noooo! Packed a box of suji cakes and prawn crackers to celebrate in my room on CNY night. It's quite a sad prospect, no 美珍香香脆肉干, I can forget about trying to 拜访亲戚朋友 and getting 红包 (heh heh).

刚刚回到家又必须离开，的确是有点依依不舍。但这次一定会比上一回来得好，肯定不会那么害怕或伤心，毕竟已经开始习惯独自生活。我只希望这个学期会比上一个来得更快乐。现在我祝自己一路顺风，平安到达伦敦。

Love,

-xinying-

PS. do NOT be the rabbit

Pics

2006-01-04T14:43:00.000Z

Welcome to the Cotswold! Picturesque, quaint small- towns in the countryside; buttocks UP if you agree. Ducks ain't got thumbs okay.

The Dial House. Serves the best meals in all of England. Pigeon meat, game meat etc. Pa, ma and me; Chao's hands are so shaky.

Outside of the B&B. Cosy little place yea? Pa and ma.

We visited the Roman Baths too. Obviously...Patron goddess - Sulis Minerva. The name comes from Minerva as in the Roman goddess of wisdom and Sulis, the goddess of the locals Brits. Very tactful politics indeed.

Bring forth the holy waters! They supposedly have healing powers. ..you don't believe that do you? But I touched it anyway =P These marvellous buildings have been standing ever since they were raised from the grounds. A truly amazing arhitectural feat! Aye those Romans...

Well, if you don't believe in the healing powers of Sulis Minerva (how dare you!), at least they did...These things require trust. They also need an extra large dose of good old modern science.

An apparition of a Roman foot soldier. And a handsome and muscular one too! Ha ha ha...Seriously, the injured and battle- weary visited the spring

Chao and I armed with the audioguides. It was pretty amusing really to see everyone in the same pose.

That guy is really talented...random shot by Chao.

Bird's eye view of London from the very top of St. Paul's Cathedral. May the sun never set on...no no no not the British Empire! We've come a long way from imperialism. Climbing all the way up those ancient stone steps and metal grill stairs...a horror journey in it's own right.

And the two of us, too tired and sweaty to care.

Aaah...watched a musical at Queen's. Presenting...*drumrolls*

Apparently I looked exactly like this when I was a kid. Such uncanny, angry resemblance. Probably my first day at nursery...Every kindergarden teacher's worst nightmare - me!

Florence Boot Hall. Nottingham University.

Contact

2006-01-03T14:10:00.000Z

Oooh. I met Shi Ning online last Saturday night. Then I stumbled on the idea of using the Webcam since the last time we saw each other was on the 28th Feb (collecting of O level results), and that's ages ago. Given my luck and everything, of course the Webcam didn't work. Nearly died trying to figure out how to make it connect to the computer and everything, I'm not a genius with these things. You can when you believe...and I did it, but only after rebooting the com several times. Had the most fun and happy conversation. We did weird and crappy stuff like 'oscillate' in front of the Webcam and made queer faces at each other. I really am a nutty peanut. Never happier catching up with an old school friend =)
(This paragraph is dedicated to Shi Ning)

Gratified with the invention of instant messaging. It is by far the cheapest and quickest way for an overseas student to communicate with family and friends back home etc. I can understand why Coll bans (and blocks) the use of instant messaging programmes, in the fear that some go overboard and get addicted to the virtual world. That fear is not unfounded but they shouldn't simply tar everyone with the same brush. It's so unfair to impose some random ban just because of a few black sheep, it makes no sense! The purpose of education is to nuture and cultivate independent learners isn't it? Ideally, students should be able to discover for themselves their best study methods and 'life habits', of course with a bit of adult guidance. By imposing restrictions (based on the minority), I'm not quite sure...They do us foreign students a huge disservice, denying us of blah.

Ah yes. Went to the army market yesterday to buy the bits and pieces needed for D of E. Bootlaces, LED torch etc. Currently thinking of downgrading to Silver.

Celebrated Jie's birthday (my very fantastically belated one too as well) at the Ritz Carlton. My eating spirits were unfortunately dampened by the terrible sight of my chunky legs and hippo thighs in the elevator's reflective mirror wall. Absolutely disheartening. The food was good but I didn't eat with the usual gusto. I have to work hard on trimming down. It is a must.

Had a rather annoying but relatively fruitful shopping trip with mom today. Got most of the odds and ends to take back to England. But BUT no trousers. Now I need something along the lines of XXXXL.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. Will post some photos soon.

Pipa outing etc.

2005-12-31T14:32:00.000Z

Was supposed to meet the Superstar Amah Meihui at 1.30pm at JP. Waited nearly an hour for her to make her grand superstar appearance...I should have known better. Perhaps the best way to make her come early is to tell her the wrong time. Heh heh

Went to Crystal Jade for lunch. Thank god it wasn't anything western. 'La mian' is good, especially if it is cooked with black sauce, egg, beansprouts and shredded meat. Very nice catching up with an old friend. I'm not the sort of person who can 'clique'/ 'click' with anyone, thus those 3 months in the UK were pretty tough with no close friends. Now that I'm back, it's quite a relief to sit down a have a proper conversation with someone. Met Yingqing, Weijie, Chuan Han, Tai Khooon and Yiqi too.

Erm and yesterday I went to my aunt's house to make dumplings. Hahaha. Very, very labour intensive. I only helped with the frying of the stuffings and the making of the skin. Making the skin is the fun part. Rolling the dough and rubbing it with flour. I'm not the most domestically- inclined person...

Yes and back to today again. Just how disorganised can I get? Just finished watching The Hollow Man. The show's like an adaptation of The Invisible Man. Invisible...why of course, that brings great power as well. And from Spiderman, with great power comes great responsibility. Of course. It's when people start abusing their power then things go wrong. Countless such incidents in history; dictatorship, the failure of communism and the fall of empires just to name a few. Human nature is just so volatile...

Let's believe in the best of human nature. A happy new year to everyone.
Welcome 2006, may you be better than 2005!

Love,
-xinying-

Back

2005-12-28T05:31:00.000Z

Back to where I belong. Home. With a great family and a not- too- bad house, what more could one ask for?

Went back last Friday to have a look round Hwa Chong on Mel's request. Dear old HC. Now I know many people will not agree with the previous statement but that's what I really feel about the place. HC and its little lecture theatres, class benches and of course friends. Visited guitar club. The attendance wasn't spectacular but since I've resigned from the exco, it didn't bother me one bit (would have made me mad in the past, but what's over is over and there's no going back to the happier times). Hmm..not too sure who's idea it was to get me a cake and lots of colourful balloons but anyway, big thanks to the 'culprit'. I think I know...Had lunch at a Chinese restaurant with the group. It's both nice and horrible how such things can make one remnisce the 'old days'. Before I left, home wasn't that attractive a place compared to what it means to me now. School, friends, CCA and meals out was the obvious choice. I mean, face it, I thought home was boring and to make things worse, my parents were fond of nagging. School was the best escape hideaway. Oooh! I'm quite quite disgusted with myself now, like how could I have ever...?

When people ask about the weather and after one's health, they inevitably mean something else. That's certainly true in Oscar Wilde's case but I have and must complain and compliment our lovely climate here. Just got to talk about it! The only possible advantage of having a tropical climate is being able to wear just ONE thin shirt and not freeze. Very cumbersome indeed having to wrap oneself up like a polar bear, all round and clumsy and rolly- polly. Another reason to love it, lets the skin stay young and wrinkle- free. However...'Howevers' and 'buts' almost always mean that a bad thing is about to be mentioned. Dislike those two words! However, it's so humid! Choking...do I sound as if I'm exaggerating? I've never liked the humidity.
Healthwise, I'm fine. Just a tad fatter. No, by using 'tad' I'm too kind on myself. Congratulations, I've passed the 50 kilo barrier and entered the Kingdom of the Obese. Well, loads of people are over 50kg and I mean NO insult whatsoever. The Kingdom of the Obese exists exclusively for me, considering my height and body makeup blah. I have absurdly high standards, or in this case, low standards.

Went out with mom and sis and yipee, the last remnants of my retainer has been taken out. I'm officially braces cum retainer free. At long last! It feels weird. My teeth feel furry. Even drinking or eating anything cold induces a ticklish sensation...Finally, after 6 years...

Love,
-xinying-

Long entry...

2005-12-25T13:25:00.000Z

Off for my Christmas hols. Finally, the end of one term. Ok so this only means five more terms before I graduate and go off toUni/ GAP whatever. But before I headed back for home, a lot of things definitely did happen in between.

There was the Christmas carolling at School. That was okay.

Dad, mom and my sis came to pick me up (and wisk me away from School) the very next day. The most horrid thing was that I didn't display as much excitement as I had expected. I thought I would burst into tears and hugs my parents many times round but that didn't happen. Perhaps I'm not that expressive a person...Possibly. But nevertheless, still very grateful for the timely hols. School had definitely started getting on my nerves. Not looking forward to going back really. Showed mom and sis around the House (Hope sis was jealous. No, I'm not that mean).

Anyway, family and I stayed in Cheltenham for about four days. Brought my parents around town. During our stay in Cheltenham, daddy brought us around the Cotswold. Lovely little villages with quaint English homes and many good bargains (argh..shopping). Far from the madding crowd, I think I want to retire and reside in a quiet, sleepy countryside somewhere out there. But that dream will only materialise in fifty years time (maybe even sixty if the government raises the retirement age) and provided that I manage to live that long without getting struck by lightning or being frightened to death by a loud clap of thunder. Went to this Sun Dial House for lunch and it was brilliant. Carefully prepared traditional English meals and absolutely worth it's price. Lovely.

Dad brought us to see the Roman Baths too. Nice, sensible heritage. It's so amazing how such magnificent structures built nearly two thousand years ago haven't fallen into decay yet. A wonderful insight into the lives of the Roman Britons. They have an effective method of bringing the tourists around. Instead of the usual tourguides, they have audiotourguides. No big deal yea? Audiotourguides. But the way they present the information. Simply ingenius. Handheld telephones with running commentaries on the stone remains and sculptures.

Took the National Express to London. Went for dinner with my guardians and their family.

Watched Les Miserables at Queen's Theatre. The performance was good. It would have been better if not for one woman. Dad bought tickets at a half- price ticketing booth (that's perfectly legal). Due to a silly mistake by the ticket man, our seats happened to clash with this woman. Instead of showing herself to be a polite and understanding lady, she nearly lost it when she caught a peek and saw that we paid roughly half less for our tickets. She then picked on my sis and me (helpless little Asian girls yea) and demanded 'Get out of your seats and go stand in the aisle!'. It wasn't just a mere slip of the tongue, she kept repeating that sentence again and again, intentionally and staring down at the two of us in the hope of intimidating us. Ooooh...how scary...sigh. Rude rude mean thing! She didn't have to wreck our night just because of the green- eyed thing in her...boo!

Went to the Science Museum too! Cool place. The expensive Alien exhibit was quite crap, wasn't really worth the price at all. But the one about Medical History was so good. Fantastic to be nearer the truth.

Then headed off for Medlink. The course was excellent and informative in some ways but a trifle too...well, commercialised in other ways. The first night I remember was quite quite horrid. Dinner wasn't at all well organised. Queued and waited and had NO dinner. Thanks a bunch. The lectures were tolerable, some slightly more than the rest. The Casualty Alert activity was heh, I had NO idea what the whole thing was about, let's put it this way. But I loved the surgery bit, sewing up this wound on a fake hand. So fun.

Watched some Oscar Wilde films, Pride and Prejudice (BBC version) and Tom Brown's Schooldays. They all rock big time.

My memory's failing. I only remember that my cousins just left a few hours ago and I had lunch with my granny yesterday. Boring boring right?

Love,
-xinying-

PS. sigh, I don't want the hols to end.

Paperclip and a bit more

2005-12-05T13:51:00.000Z

The internal Paperclip Physics round was held in the GCR last Saturday. Honestly, I was rather nervy because our understanding of the Physics concepts behind the chosen topic wasn't very sound. Furthermore, we didn't settle on the best of topics blah. We also didn't get our petrol- driven leafblower as it had been lent to some 'big shot' finance director whatever. The whole thing looked screwed until Ms Brandon let us use an 'illegal' electricity- driven hairdryer (electricity isn't allowed to be used in the competition) as a substitute. The results were announced today and we didn't win. Not too sure whether to be happy or disappointed really because losing only means that I can finally take part in the interesting Saturday programmes (Starlab, pottery or something along those lines) instead of having to do Paperclip for many more months to come. Disappointed, ah well...I think I'm more on the happy side really. But anyway, our presentation was highly commended, according to the judges and the rest of the audience, we didn't perform that badly! No major criticisms on our presentation skills or explanation.

Anyway, what's over is over. Time to move on.

It's very frustrating isn't it, when you feel mentally isolated. Yes. Sometimes I think that I'm mentally rather old but physically still young. It's horrid when people around keep going on and on about trivial, vain pursuits. Why can't people grow up a bit? It's really, really lonely when you start contemplating things which other frivolous young people don't and you haven't got anyone to talk to. Sometimes what people say bores me due to the lack of depth, like who's going out with who, what pretty clothes to wear, when to go shopping and how to make big bucks. Being in the centre of attention or amongst the rowdy crowd...boring boring. Sitting down to reflect, learn or pursue some productive hobby means so much more. People simply tire and bore me. Not just people in general but those with shallow interests. I can't understand why they don't get tired or sick of engaging in...I'm getting so old.

Love,
-xinying-

More bits and bobs

2005-11-29T19:53:00.000Z

The Chemistry fieldtrip to Birmingham last Friday was pretty okay. They did some not- too- bad experiments, most going off with loud bangs and bright colours to ensure we didn't fall asleep. Some pretty cool reactions with Group I metals, mini firework demonstration by the founder of Kimbolt Fireworks and got splashed 'wet' with liquid nitrogen together with the rest of the audience. The only thing, the demonstrated reactions occur on a small scale, I mean how big can a lab bunsen burner get...It was rather difficult for me (sitting at the back) to see exactly what went on. Not my fault I got lousy seats, it was unfortunate that we left Cheltenham late. The most memorable thing, the liquid nitrogen. Like how many times in a lifetime does one get to observe N (l)? Well, the answer is not very often, unless you're a scientist or something along those lines of course. When the speaker splashed this bucket full of liquid nitrogen down the stage, it just partially flowed and partially evaporated! How cool is that. For me, it's superb! Then tiny droplets of the stuff just raced down the Great Hall (looks somewhat like liquid mercury) and kind of disappeared. Amazing. The guy then proceeded to pour the nitrogen over the audience...that feeling's so strange; freezing and burning your scalp with absolutely no 'wetness' at all.

Went to town to look for a long coat. The MandS ones were fine, only way out of my budget. The same went for BHS and TKMax. The coats were either too costly or that they came in gigantic sizes. As usual, they don't stock stuff my size. I should go to some gnome or leprechaun clothes shop...tsk tsk. Shopping was a failure.

An old girl came back to speak to us yesterday. She spoke about her job as a natural scientist working on natural science/ history programmes for the BBC. It was very insightful. Well, now at least I know I won't take the same path she took. As a natural scientist, one is abroad almost all year round in some remote place filming some obscure insect/ animal/ plant whatever species. The television series producer can hand you a plane ticket with less than a week's advance notice and tell you to fly off to Costa Rica, the best part of it all, you have to look for the week's accommodation yourself. Isn't quite a relaxed holiday is it? Next, a natural scientist needs lots and I mean LOTS of patience; probably the kind of patience to wait a week plus minus another week for some weird egg to hatch and film it. After all that travelling and all the waiting, only 4 seconds worth of the clip is put into the TV footage. So much work just for 4 seconds of television fame! Another quality any natural scientist wannabes should consider trying to develop is mental hardiness. Not everyone can stand waiting a whole night in the cold and rain for some dragonfly to appear. Nor can most stand a horseback journey for 6 hours up the mountains without even knowing whether the creature might appear. Tough life. But it will definitely suit some.
The old girl (I didn't manage to catch her name) also has experience working with David Attenborough. Gosh! She was also part of the crew working to produce Walking with Beasts and Life in the Undergrowth. Now that is something!

Visited St. Vincents (the day nursing centre) again today. Instead of helping good- natured Ben with his typing or the intellectual Alan with his 'Who wants to be a Millionaire', I got to help the very smiley Mikey at the computer. Played the CD Rom version of 'Who wants to be a Millionaire', that's the easiest way to keep them happy, it's really nice to see them beam when the pounds start rolling in. At least they are kept occupied and cheerful. Good good. Mikey can make sounds and say simple words but I really wonder what's going on in his head when he points to the options. Community Links visits are never easy. It's totally challenging having to communicate with someone who would by society be classified as physically and mentally disabled. Sigh...But I suppose it's good in a way, at least you're easily satisfied with life...I don't know...

Bridge today was so good. Spades seems to be my lucky suit...I'm getting addicted to the game. It's just so...so clever. The way it works and the 'telepathy' needed between partners. Sigh, next week's session will be the last one before we break up for Christmas.
Mrs Dorling got us involved in knitting baby hats for premature newborns ('premies') and I've succeeded in screwing up my knitting, probably dropped a stitch or something. That's not unexpected is it? I'm always so careless.

Just finished reading Crime and Punishment. It's so good! Into the mind of a killer...oooh. I'll be happy after tomorrow, all the tests will be over and just a week and a bit before term ends. Just can't wait.

Love,
-xinying-

Random bits and pieces

2005-11-24T19:38:00.000Z

Hello, I'm back to blogging after a long absence.

Anything interesting that happened over the past few days...I don't suppose I'll be able to come up with any, not even after all my brain juice has been squeezed dry. Nothing, that's it, my life is SO dull.

Oh, yesterday. I was insulted by a stupid person. Shan't bother elaborating because the authorities censor blogs so everything that appears here must be more or less politically correct. No extremes in languages or ideas. So there you go, I can't use any sort of colourful language to abuse that person. Why does the government keep such a close watch on bloggers? Aren't blogs meant to be like diaries where one can write freely about anything under the sun? By imposing certain restrictions, blogging has essentially lost its very essence. However, it is again the very nature of blogs which results in the necessity for 'control'; after all, blogs are public. Public. It would be horrid to simply offend another party and let the whole world know about it. So...This argument is becoming very muddled. Nevermind, when I have the time, I'll probably start working on an essay 'Censoring blogs? State your opinion and explain.'

Oooh, was talking to the housemistresses a few hours ago. Somehow, the conversation touched on this topic: Leavers' Ball. According to them, everyone has to wear a dress (Nooooo! The last time I wore a dress was about 10 years ago. Gosh, all my flab would spill out and the acne would cause people to faint. Dear dear...I'm so not looking forwards to that day). Roulette, disco and drinks...sigh. That's so not for me. And they said that the Leavers would be allowed to bring a young man along. Ha ha ha. I'd most likely end up like Crabbe and Goyle during the Yule Ball. Charming indeed.

Anyway, did this experiment to investigate the effect of temperature on fungal amylase. Followed the instructions very, very carefully to avoid bungling everything up (which I usually do). Tested the starch- amylase mixture every minute to find out the time taken to reach achromic point. That time never came...Tragic. Wasted half and hour of my life just waiting for some stupid enzyme to digest starch. Why did the experiment not work, well, simple. The lab techies gave the wrong concentration of amylase, 0.1% instead of 1%. No wonder it took so long...aaah, the effect of lowering enzyme concentration on rate of reaction.

Nothing much really, just lots of tests next week...

Gained a bloody 2kg. Now just how I am going to lose that? I go to the gym regularly enough, thrice a week, do the treadmill, row, cycle and lift weights. Fat...go away from me!!!!

Love,
-xinying-

GoF

2005-11-19T22:08:00.000Z

Warning: if you have not watched the movie yet, don't read the entry okay. You have been warned.

Just watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire a few hours ago. Movie started around 5pm and ended near 8. Lots of time wasted showing trailers and other random commercials. Commercials...bah! The 4th book is one of the more interesting ones (this is purely my opinion of course, no one has to take my word for it really) and the movie stills looked pretty alright. Booked the tickets last Saturday. That's how kiasu I am, I haven't lost that Singaporean spirit yet. Waited so long for the film to show and it's finally here!

I shan't write about recent happenings now (the boring bits), they'll appear somewhere near the end of this entry, squashed into a few sad lines. After all, the title of this entry is GoF...I'll start commenting about the film. Remember, what you read is totally my opinion. No one has to agree with it, given that I'm a fussy old windbag.

The start of the film was really good. The atmosphere and the death of Frank Bryce. Just one disagreement...Barty Crouch Jr wasn't supposed to be with Voldemort and Wormtail in the Riddle House according to my failing memory. But that didn't really make a big difference anyway. The director should be allowed a bit of freedom to alter whatever bits he thinks should be changed. That part was well shot and directed.

Then without even showing a glimpse of the muggles (Uncle Vernon, Petunia and Dudders), they went on to the Quidditch World Cup. A short bit about the portkey (the boot), which wasn't as mangy and old as I would have liked. But there's no point in disliking the movie because of a boot, so there.

The Quidditch World Cup was absolutely disappointing. It was way too short. No quaffles being thrown around and worst of all, NO Hawkshead Formation or Wronski Feint. Boos! Just the Irish mascot display which wasn't anywhere near what I'd imagined. That's it. No Veelas. Gosh, my favourite bit in book 4 happens to be the World Cup business and they didn't even shoot it. Orh... *tears welling up in my eyes* Rather disappointing. Shocked. Ah wells...I'm not the director, nuts I can do. Tonight, I'll just have to dream about that bit and make sure it's perfect. The mood of the film would definitely be better if they'd included at least a small part of Quidditch playing. Broomstick sports is exhilarating and it deserves a nice chunky portion, come on...do it a bit of justice...The Dark Mark appearance was okay I suppose, just that Harry didn't have a concussion or peek at Barty Crouch Jr in the book. No Winky and no Dobby, what's the world coming to?

Scene quickly switched to welcoming of the foreign students to Hogwarts. Well well...it was so- so. Yes, and something I realised; the wizarding robes are starting to look more and more 'muggle' if you get what I mean. Professor Flitwick looked like a miniature banker in Shenton Way. What happened to those lovely robes? And also, a new haircut. No more long beards but clipped moustaches and ruler- like hair partings. So muggle. Hrumpf! Madam Maxime looks like my Chemistry teacher. Shhhhh! I'll be murdered if she finds out. They should have made Madam Maxime more regal and haughty looking with loads of opals and jewels. And a beak- like nose which the obviously forgot.

More complaints. The casting...urgh! Oh no, I'm being mean again =( Honestly, the way the movie chose to portray Barty Crouch Sr was kind of 'wrong'. The story tells me that he's supposed to be a powerful wizard, as harsh the Death- Eaters themselves and one who would not hesitate to employ the Unforgiveable Curses. Yet in the film, the actor did not look very confident to me. He seemed rather paternal and had this shaky voice (I think it was pretty feminine as well...there I go, being mean again). Furthermore, he is described as being a stiff elderly man. Stiff? One who complies with all the rules? Quite impossible to draw those conclusions from the film. The on- screen Crouch simply doesn't radiate the 'power' factor, too restrained I should think. Now for Barty Crouch Jr. He's the one who's weak. In the film, he appeared rather...ah well.

Krum. Sigh. A thinner person might have done better in bringing out the character. He's supposed to be sallow- skinned, hook- nosed, round- shouldered and duck- footed. The actor they chose didn't have any of these qualities, or rather faults. Bad casting? I dunno...maybe. The bad thing about reading the book is that one unconsciously creates preconceptions, thus would be easily disappointed if things don't really go as pictured in the brain. Movie didn't paint too good a picture of Krum though. He's supposed to have a more rounded personality in the book. Whatever. AND they didn't do Karkaroff's goatee any justice. I could do will a little more curl. He just wasn't unctuous and slimy enough. But his teeth were foul. Perfect. Simply sublime. Fits the slimeball image of him so well!

And as for Fleur...I'm really criticising and examining every tiny detail. It's really picky and horrid of me to do such a thing but I have to let 'it' out! Can't just keep my thoughts within that thick skull of mine, and this is what a blog is for. If any fellow fan happens to read this and strongly disagrees with what I have to say, you don't have to continue reading, just shut this page, simple as that! She's part Veela. What's so special about the Veelas? Their beautiful hair of course. Might have been better if the on- screen Fleur had let her hair down, as in, not tie it up into a ponytail. They didn't quite go on to show how proud she was initially and her 'Complain Queen' nature. The actress is pretty, yes very pretty but somehow the ethereal quality of Veela- ness is missing. The beautiful, turning heads yet monster thingy...

The 2nd task scenes were simply superb. Dark and dangerous- the Lake. Very, very well shot. Sadly no grindylows or anything of that kind. The 3rd task was okay. The Maze was certainly mysterious and and frightening with its high green walls and deserted paths. However, too deserted with NO sphinx, NO blast ended screwts etc. Could have done with a bit of that. Horrendously treacherous, with the walls of the maze collapsing...Brilliant, it just adds on to the 'terror' aspect of that last and final task. Clever, very clever indeed. I loved it.

Ooooh. Voldemort. Nooooooo! Firstly, he wasn't as scary as described in the book. His face was certainly death- like (pale, skeletal and cadaverous with skin tightly stretched across the face) but the eyes! Oh, the eyes! Rowling describes his eyes as red slits (something along those lines, snake- like), however the movie Lord Voldie just had sunken eyes. Not remotely terrifying...That face could have a bit more cruelty and malice etched in it. Secondly, Voldemort is after all the most powerful dark wizard the wizarding world has ever seen, not to mention evil and merciless. Oh dear, the Voldemort in the film didn't look revengeful or austere enough. In fact, he seemed a wee bit too friendly. Friendly?! Good grief. I don't like the way they pictured him, or rather It.

Lastly, Dumbledore. The new Dumbledore is no where as realistic compared to the previous actor. This Dumbledore was way too energetic. The fact is, as the Potter series goes on, Dumbledore gets more and more weary and old. This one has just got too much life in him. No way. He's definitely not that young. To make things worse, Dumbledore is supposed to be caring and fatherly (in a way), yet this one was wretchedly rude. The Rude Dumbledore shook Harry like a gangster and asked him mean questions after Harry's name got spat out from the Goblet. How bad can that get? Dumbledore's supposed to be the only one who trusts Harry fully. This Dumbledore talks way too fast too, speedy! This new Dumbledore's just no good...

***

We got this HUGE box of popcorns and pepsi. Gigantic!

Today's misty as well. The whole day.

Watched The Talented Mr Ripley in the morning and a whole 2 hours of Friends last night. Aaaah, this is what Exeat really means!

Love,

-xinying-

PS. this movie's way better than the last one. The mood of the whole show's changed as well, from light- hearted to dark. Even the theme song has been transposed, sounds more...more forbidding.

Back again

2005-11-15T19:03:00.000Z

Hmm...seems a long time since I last wrote anything. The workload's definitely increasing, but hasn't caught up with me yet, still manageable but leaves less time for blogging and guitar practice.

Right after I came back from the D of E taster expedition, there was this fireworks display at Farnley Lodge to commemorate Guy Fawkes's failure to blow up the Parliament House or something of that nature 400 years ago, back in 1605...is it the House of Lords or the House of Commons? I can't remember. I didn't go down to Farnley though because of aching muscles and all but I watched it from the House window. That was my first time being so close to real fireworks. They were spectacular and colourful. Noisy, yes of course.

Last week was followed by a string of tests. Did get very respectable results for all of them. Made some horribly stupid mistakes in my Chem paper though. Ridiculous, unforgiveable errors. Take this as an example; 17 protons and 16 electrons- obviously it's a cation. Duh. But clever me, haha I indicated that it was an anion!! Just how dull can I get? And another example; drawing an isomer for hexane, I forgot to look out for the longest carbon backbone thus got a propane instead of a butane. Wasted! Sigh...I'm such a big moron. But anyway, I'm rather pleased with grades so far. Hope it stays this way for the rest of my student career.

Had my last Health Education session last Wednesday. Miss Black promised everyone that the last lesson on Sex would be interesting. They always say that. It wasn't. The usual stuff. Health Ed sessions are useful, the only problem is that they keep repeating the same things over and over again. Once in RGPS, a few more times in RV and somemore in HC. Once is enough, could do with a few reminders but too much is sickening. Anyway, it's always for our good...yea yea.

Visited a blind AND deaf woman, Sheila. Apparently, Mrs Kaye had already informed Sheila of our visit. But when we got to Ambleside, Sheila said 'I didn't know people were coming to see me. Who are you?' Very very strange indeed. Either one must be lying, but if liar grows a long Pinocchio nose, that's not my problem. It was SO difficult trying to communicate with Sheila. She couldn't even see us, totally blind that is. And she could hardly hear what we were shouting at her despite the hearing aids. Sigh. Very very hard.

Went down to town straight after. Used the ATM machine for the first FIRST time in my whole life. Very exciting. Haha. Bought daily necessities and the HARRY POTTER movie tickets! Yes! Movie tickets for this coming Saturday (19th November). Somehow, Natsuki managed to get us the children tickets. Good, good, I love saving £s. Though I don't agree with the casting etc. but I wouldn't say no to a movie. The book's better than the movie in most cases, I think it would be the case this time round. Got a Chinese takeaway near Odeon. Good yummy Chinese food. A change from the usual monotony of cheese.

Had the last Lifesaver lesson at Cambray on Sunday. Graham (the St John's instructor) let us practise the bandaging and stuff. Had the test. It was quite alright =) I pity those poor volunteers who offered to be bandaged again and again. Must be irritating really, being manhandled by nervous/ rough girls sticking plasters here and there and lifting 'injured' legs into unnatural positions. I passed it, and with a couple of 'good' and 'excellent' over the report sheet. Not too bad for someone like me. Hehehe...

And as for today, went back to St. Vincents. Helped Alan (old guy with physical disability) click the mouse and play 'Who wants to be a millionaire'. Wonderful, with our combined brains, managed to reach £1,000,000 on the very last try. Good end to the day.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. can't wait for exeat.

D of E 'taster' weekend

2005-11-07T22:46:00.000Z

D of E 'taster' weekend to the Brecon Beacons.

First of all, where is the Brecon Beacons. According to D of E Award I/C- Mr Morton (he's always right about these things), it's part of the Black Mountain range and is located somewhere in Wales. Oooh, I've only been with the CLC for less than erm three months and I've been to Bristol and Wales. Yippee...will be going to Birmingham later this month for a series of Chemistry lectures. Good. I'm getting to know more places other than London. Back to the Brecon Beacons. For the Gold Award, expeditions are supposed to consist of mountain climbing activities and when I mean mountains, it's not like Bukit Timah Hill which is a puny 60m high. Mountains in the UK are old sandstone geographical structures that go up all the way to 900m high. Now this is high.

Spent nearly the whole of Thursday and Friday night getting my stuff ready. Borrowed lots of stuff from the Beale store and from Coll (some tremendously ugly waterproofs, a very battered rucksack and a smelly sleeping bag). It's really hard packing as I have absolutely no idea what English climate up in the mountains is like. Terrible. Spent a long long time deciding what clothes to bring. Firstly, I was worried that the weather might suddenly turn real cold and secondly, worrying whether the fleece and stuff were 'breatheable' enough for me not to suffocate and die inside my clothes during one of the long walks.

Saturday (5th Nov) morning was nice and sunny, registered down at Coll for the usual stuff; Practical makeup sessions and Paperclip Physics. The Paperclip is starting to look more hopeful with Mr P's new idea on how to explain the stupid pressure- velocity thingy which my group could never completely grasp. The competition might not to so bad after all...

Anyway, the teachers loaded everything onto the mini vans. Brecon Beacons, here I come.
The drive from Cheltenham to Wales took about 2 hours. When we got there, it was already 3pm. We were told that the hike through the mountains would last from 4 to 6+pm and that was definitely not good news for me. I really hate walking in the dark.

Then it had to rain.
Boo.
Instead of walking zig- zag up, Mr Morton and Mr Tyndall had to make us walk straight up the mountain at right- angles to the contours. Great. Cold and wet. My specs were blurry and steamed up. Even better, I was as blind as a bat...that's not really a good description because at least bats have excellent hearing. At that time, my sight was dulled and hearing...no point relying on hearing as the only audible sounds were the pouring to rain and howling of wind. I was rendered nearly helpless. Fell down loads of times. On other occasions, nearly slipped but caught hold of brambles and thorny mistletoe to break my fall...just how lucky can I get? Ouch! Forgot to wear my gloves. Touched many gross things as a result of my forgetfulness...still can't forget the horrid feeling of mushy furry moss. Urgh!

Right at the top of the hill, the wind was so strong that even standing straight posed a BIG challenge. As a result of attempting to stand straight as a newly- grown beansprout and not get blown away by the malevolent gust, I supposed I strained some muscle and ended up with leg cramps. Fine.

Bad day. Bad bad day.

The next day (Sunday, 6th Nov) was much better.

First, the teachers made us a wonderful hot English breakfast with sausages, toast, bacon, mushrooms and hash brown. What can be more delightful than a yummy hot breakfast on a cold rainy morning? Said goodbye to the bunkhouse and my doubledecker bed.

It stopped raining real soon. Excellent news! Very quickly, the sun was shining...great for walking. The start of the trek was difficult as in a tiring climb towards the top. Lots of sheep and that also means LOTS of sheep poo littered all over. No point trying to keep my boots clean as the previous day's 2hour walk had already rendered it filthy and stinking. Stepped indiscriminately everywhere, poo or no poo. Couldn't really be bothered anymore. Climbed up into the clouds and into strong wind. Sigh. Very tough trying to walk in a straight line...I should put on more weight and have a big bum. In that way, I wouldn't have so much problem trying not to go off course...lower centre of gravity what...Our group of 6 dropped to a measly 5 people team.

Welsh mountain scenery is breath- taking. Awesome's the word. "I'm on the top of the world looking..." Lots of green and glorious mountain ranges in the distance. I want to be a sheep farmer...I want to live up in the hills. Neh, who am I kidding?

Then we came to the 'Dead Marshes' (as Frankie put it). How very apt! It was so hard to find solid ground to tread on. Basically, the whole patch of land was full of muck and mud with a few pathetic strands of grass growing randomly. I landed knee- deep in soft mud and remained firmly stuck there until I was pulled out forcibly. Nearly lost a precious boot. Mud sucks (suck as in 'you suck' and suck as in suction force it exerts of the boot, pulling it in). The Dead Marshes made the rest of the terrain look like the rolling plains of Rohan.

Crawled down parts using hands and feet and bum support. Sang all the way down the mountain, some very random songs with Melissa Mak. Very very fun.

Bye Brecon Beacons. Will be going to Lake District and other parts of Scotland for the next expedition. Must train up or else the sore legs...heh heh heh

Love,
-xinying-

Posh

2005-11-07T20:05:00.000Z

The School always tries to act posh.

After half- term, Beale and Cambray had a wine and cheese session for girls and their parents/ guardians. The dining staff wore posh- looking white shirts which made them look like high class restaurant waiters. There were so many types of cheese and wine. Besides the food, there were delicately made tiny eclairs and cakes. I spied the grown- ups and other girls sit around tables and make small talk. Oh, they are so grown- up...

Then last week, there was this New Tutors' Welcome supper.

But before supper, in order to act posh, there was a drinks session in the drawing room. One gay- looking dining staff wore nicer- than- usual clothes and distributed drinks; orange juice for the teetotallers and orange champagne for the rest of us.

They dimmed the dining hall lights. Good grief...they're so desperate to convert the plain little dining area to a high- end restaurant! The appetizer was some melon and fruit plate...urgh! Terribly healthy! I wished they'd give me rich, creamy seafood chowder instead. As for the main course, I haven't got much to say about it. Dessert was better than usual, two choices; orange and cranberry meringue OR warm peach and cinnamon. Much much better than the normal standards. Unfortunately, no chocolate! Where's all the chocolate?!

Hmm...my very first two 'posh' meals in Coll. Heh heh...I'll wait for more. According to PHT, the CLC has very good wine cellars. Aaah, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he's right.

I suppose that these activities are for our benefit, trying to teach us to be ladies as usual. Ladies...so we'll know the so- called proper etiquette when we enter high- society in the future. Ha ha ha. No. Seriously, it's an experience. Early training so we don't use the soup spoon to eat our main course. Nay, a change in activities is good too. Rids life at Coll of the typical 'to lessons- prep- field' monotony. And these sessions are the only time where under- agers like me can get to drink without having to sneak into pubs and get choked by the billowing, intoxicating cigarette smokeclouds.

Love,
-xinying-

Madam Tussaud's

2005-11-03T23:16:00.000Z

Argh, no time to blog about the trip for a whole week despite visiting it last Saturday (29th Oct).
Madam Tussaud's is along Baker Street. I reached the place fairly early, around 1 hour after the opening time. The queue for tickets wasn't too bad. I remember last year when I was there with my family, the estimated time to queue was around 1h34mins...no way! We're not fools to waste our lives queueing for measly tickets. This time round, I suppose I waited for less than three quarters of an hour. Not bad at all. Purchasing the ticket was hell. One bloody ticket is ridiculously priced, an adult ticket costing a full £24 (even more expensive than the Tower of London ones yet Madam Tussuad's is of lesser historical/ heritage value). I tried to get the child ones (still very exorbitantly priced but nonetheless, cheaper). The counter man was so mean. He was asking me horrid questions like date of birth and other nosy stuff. In the end, all he could say was 'Nice try BUT you don't look like a child...nice try'. Mockery. That's one thing I cannot stand. People mocking me...what the * Anyway =)

There were fewer wax models than I expected. Some photos...

What a familiar face...

It's not really ideal to visit the Wax Museum alone, most preferably, go with someone else. Unfortunately I had no one to accompany me, thus nobody to help me take pictures with the wax figuers. Tsk tsk...For most of the photos you will see, I'm not in there, duh. Furthermore, it's pretty lonely having to wander around the place on your own, no one to share the excitement and fun and of course, fear in the Chamber of Horrors.

Basically, I would divide the whole museum into a few sections; the celebrity section, the royalty and politician section, the Chamber of Horrors cum torture section, the Spirit of London section and finally the Physics section. Very horrible...I recognised less than a quarter of the faces in the celebrity section. Gosh, looks like I have to catch up with my reading of the Straits Times 'Life' and 'Lifestyle' page. But I did find this person very familiar indeed...

Hair black as ebony, skin white as snow...Charlie Chaplin!

Aaah, the queue to take pictures with Prince William was the longest. No prizes for guessing why. Instead of wasting my life trying to get a picture with the fake William, I got down to taking pictures with more famous characters, makes the money worthwhile eh? Here, here, more photos to keep you faithful readers happy and contented.

Elizabeth I, her face is deathly pale like a death mask...people in her time had very weird fashion sense, agreed? I dislike the ruff, makes one's neck look severed from the body

Hmm...I think that this model of Ghandi isn't all that realistic. The head does seem a little too big for the body. Anyway, I look like an idiot next to it.

Henry VIII ie. extremely flirtatious king who had 8 wives...some people can't even afford one. Worse still, he killed and divorced them. Crazy guy, he should learn to treasure his wives

My camera's got a really powerful zoom...wheeeeeee. Imagine a camera so powerful that even the pimples on his face can be seen, heehee. No, that was a joke of extrememly bad taste.

Since it's the anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar, might as well put this picture here. Napolean (left) with Wellington (right)

The guy who just had to show the world how clever he was by discovering Gravity, optics, calculus etc. Unbearably clever...Newton. I know lots of Physics students who hate him

The Queen and I. Benjamin Disraeli sulking in the background.

Hello Saddam!

Goodness, this entry is gonna be so big. It'll take forever to upload, dear me.

I went to have a look at the Chamber of Horrors as well. Apparently it's really famous. The warning was: unsuitable for pregnant women, children under 12 and people with heart conditions. Loud noises. Do NOT touch the live actors. The place was dark and terrible loud noises like whips cracking on burning flesh. Scary enough. Then from nowhere, this actor dressed up in moster costume jumped out at me when I was hardly a few steps into the place. That was the 'first' and last straw, I left the chamber very freaked out. *Chicken chicken* Yea, fine!

Spirit of London ride was quite alright. The wax models rather freaky.

I've seen Madam Tussaud's once. I don't intend to go back again.

Wore the wrong pair of shoes to the museum and ended up with dreadful blisters, red and raw and big. Hobbled home like some aged, toothless granny. Pathetic. Actually I intended to go watch a musical but due to the stupid feet pain, went back to guardian's place instead. What a waste! Next time, I swear I'll never buy pretty shoes...the only shoes I'll get will be nice comfy trainers or walking boots. Nothing else.

Love,

-xinying-

The Tower of London

2005-10-31T21:40:00.000Z

A dummy's introduction to London with yours truly as the tourguide, now isn't that just simply smashing?

Thursday 27th Oct- The Tower of London

I'm Scrooge reincarnated, I can never never stop complaining how expensive things in London are. Take the price of the entrance ticket for example, a whopping £14.95...and after careful conversion, that adds up to *gulps in mock horror* S$44.85. Wahhhh!! *screams in dismay* Putting the miserable money matters aside, let's take a closer look at this famous or rather infamous fortress.

The Tower of London, duh and an adoring gay fan (look, he's wears purple!)...no no, it's a pathetic joke

I know you like more photos...here here, have another one!

Pretty eh, the previous picture? Full of flowers in their autumn bloom, and look at the blue blue sky... Well, the Tower did not just serve as a prison for the condemned. In fact, it was built by William the Conqueror in AD.1027 (somewhere around there, I don't live to remember dates and numbers) as a fortress. It was also used as royal quarters for the King and his nobles when they visited the site. The White Tower served as an armoury store over the building's history, there are chapels in the site as well.

Weapons. A lot of them yea? Couldn't really do anything about the flash...pity pity...

Armour of Henry VIII...worn by the great man himself. Impressed? Ha ha ha...

Aye mate, this is the very chapel I spoke of. Used by the Kings and Queens of old. A historical relic indeed.

An ancient loo! Yea, I was nutty enough to waste memory space on this hole in the floor

After wandering around The Medieval Palace, I joined the Yeomen Warder/ Beefeater guided tours. He introduced the more important events that occurred in the Tower ie. the execution of Anne Boleyn, Lady Jane Grey, Guy Fawkes, Sir Walter Raleigh etc. They could choose to have private or public executions (public ones were held at Tower Hill facing the ghoulish crowds). The Ravens, oh yes. English superstition; if the 6 ravens ever leave the Tower, England would cease to exist. So there are now 8 ravens in the Tower just in case.

Pottered around the Traitors' Gate, Beauchamp Tower, Cradle Tower, White Tower, Bloody Tower etc. Bloody Tower...aaah, the place where the two princes disappeared. That word, it doesn't sound awfully convincing does it. Most people reckon they were murdered by a throne- grabbing uncle. And of course, the Crown Jewels. The Crown Jewels. Not just a few ten carats of gold and diamond but 530 carats! Good grief. Those crowns are priceless, in the first place those precious stones are bloody expensive and the crown has historical value as well. Thick metal doors to protect and safeguard the sparkly, beautiful and elaborate pieces of art.

Lastly, the torture instruments. There's this horrible thing called the Savenger's Daughter. Basically what it does is it locks the prisoner with his chest pressed against his thighs and holds him in that position for hours on end. It delivers pain by compression of the human body. Nasty. There's the Rack as well. The arms and legs and bound by ropes. A wheel is turned and the prisoner's body is stretched. Good for people who want to gain a few inches of height. And the suspension method where they suspend the prisoner by the hands. Leaves the hands to sore and painful to be used for a couple of days. Evil! Within the 15- inch thick walls of the dungeons, your screams of terror and pain can't be heard at all and there's no one to save you...good luck.

'Guards! Take him away!'

Love,

-xinying-

2005-10-31T21:22:00.000Z

Sheffield Park

Beautiful English scenery, the myriad of colours

Me and the world's oldest tea clipper, Cutty Sark

The 'Rat Gallery'- those black little furballs with their poo all over

Based on logical deduction, the gallery reeks of foul ratty odour...elementary my dear Watson

Freedom

2005-10-26T15:34:00.000+01:00

One hour travel time is considered very short in London. Aaah, and one hour will also take you from the western- most point in Singapore (Tuas) to Changi Airport. Amazing! The sheer magnitude in difference between landmasses. Yeah...took a free ride down to St Bartholomew's Hospital yesterday. The Hogarth wall painting of poor people suffering all sorts of maladies is so good; cancer of the stomach, swollen joints and someone with syphillis. No wonder the painting isn't in the hospital's main lobby, I don't wonder why.

So horrid, I tried walking from the Hospital to St Paul's Cathedral. The two places are supposed to be really close and of course, being me, I took ages to locate the Cathedral (a huge magnificient building), I must have been so blind...Then I wondered why the Cathedral wasn't open to visitors, the colossal wooden doors were shut fast. It only took me more time and a redundant walk round and round to realise that I was in the courtyard and not at the main entrace. Just how stupid can I get? The outside of St Paul's is already so beautiful, shall buy admission ticket the next time round.

Tried so hard to find St Paul's Station. I didn't find it naturally. After half an hour of walking and walking with absolutely NO idea of the region's topography in mind, I landed up in Mansion Green Station. Ridiculous. To make things worse, I took the wrong train (not wrong as in it will bring me to a weird destination but wrong as in the long- cut). Dumb. I am so dumb. Stopped at Chancery Lane Station and asked an old dear for directions to the British Museum. She gave me a toothy look and said 'Oh dear oh dear...I...I can't remember...' I didn't force her to recollect with a knife at her throat so went to get help from the Station officer. The guy behind the counter gave me that typical 'are you nuts' look. According to him, I should have alighted at Holburn Station instead of this one and apparently, I would have to take a long long walk to the Museum. Dumber and dumbererer.

Armed with a map of Central London and a mouth (to ask for street directions), I took it upon myself to find the place without referring to either helplines. So stupid. I would've found the place earlier if I had just bothered to open the street directory. The Musuem is just as I had remembered it. Last year, Daddy offered to get me a piping hot hotdog from this seller outside the Museum gates and I refused. The hotdog was delicious according to my sis but pride...aah, I refused to take a bite. This time round, I tried to find those wonderful hotdogs but either the seller had died (therefore no hotdog stall in sight) or it's Heaven's will I should have NO hotdogs. Whatever.

This time round, decided to visit the exhibits I would not usually see ie. the African ones and the North American ones. No more Egyptian stuff for me, boos!

The African section was cool. Real good stuff in there. There was this 'Tree of Life' piece. War in Africa thus lots of guns and weapons buried all over the country. The Christian Union offered money/ more useful items like farming equipment etc in exchange for the armoury. And what happened to those guns? Used to increase the terrorists' weapon stockpile...haha, NO! They assembled the random guns into a TREE sculpture. Brilliant. Shall attach the pics at a later date, I'm still feeling so lazy. Lots of masquerade masks and little stone pieces. Some tribe in Africa has the highest twin birthrate. According to the local tradition, if one twin dies, the other's life will be in danger. Thus, if a twin really dies, they make a small figurine of it and the figurine is looked after by the surviving twin. Argh...I'm making things sound horribly complicated.

The North American section was superb as well. Happened to be this Museum tourguide explaining stuff so made an attempt to listen to what she had to say. Pretty cool...the different climates and how they affect the clothes and lifestyle of the various Indian tribes; from those living in Alaska to the central Indians (the most stereotyped race as seen in cowboy films). Hanged around other sections before having lunch (salmon sandwich) and sinfully sweet BROWNIES and HOT CHOCOLATE for tea. Gosh, where's all the self- control gone?

Left the Museum for St Paul's again, that's where Blacks is, the place to get outdoor D of E stuff. Not too bad, at least I've got everything I desperately need; walking boots, Platypus, survival bags, waterproof trekpants and thermal base layers. Good good. I'm always so efficient whenever I put my distracted brain to doing something useful.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. really guilty, woke up so late this morning that I cancelled my grand plan of going to the Tower of London. But fret not, I shall be there tomorrow!

Half- term

2005-10-22T20:07:00.000+01:00

Friday 21st Oct

Cold and wet afternoon. Coach to Eastbourne Terrace Paddington, London was late. Had such a good nap on board. Reached Paddington Station at 815pm, dark and chilly. Tried to call guardians to pick me up, but NO one picked up the phone and I got directed to Voicemail so many times. It was honestly so scary, what would happen if no one came. Then I would be forced to sleep and spend the next one week roaming the Tube stations. *Ring ring...please leave a message...* Good grief! Why didn't my guardian pick up the phone?! Anyway, he came soon enough. Kindly sent Kasia to the Russell Square Tube station. It's not fair, Kasia gets to go back to Poland and Elin gets to return to Malaysia...what about me?! Sigh. It's okay, I'll just wait another 9 more weeks.

Dropped by the Welcome Chinese takeaway. Had my first proper, good Chinese dinner with guardians for the first time in many weeks. Aaah...MSG- monosodium glutamate. So good! Haha, this is not exactly the most healthy thing but who cares. Better than cheese anytime.

It really feels weird, being away from home and a guest in someone else's house. So strange...I had to mind my manners (no throwing tantrums like what I usually do at home) and make myself helpful with the cleaning up (sigh, not the stuff I would normally do at home). I feel so healthy, was made to eat up all the nasty greens and health fruits. Sian ar. Daddy will be really happy with my this new training.

Alone in the big, big guest room. I wish my family was here with me...

Saturday 22nd Oct

Went out with Auntie Tina and Po- Siann to Lewisham mall. Great, I'm the effiecient super shopper, managed to pick up a pair of shoes (pink...dear me, why do all my things happen to be pink?!), a black jumper and a horrible blue fleece pullover for D of E Brecon Beacons expedition. Auntie Tina got this pumpkin, she promised to let me carve it for Halloween.

Met Yee Yen (another young person), Uncle Beng and Richard for dimsum lunch at Peninsula. Dimsum...it wasn't bad at all for a restaurant in England. I still prefer Crystal Jade though but it was honestly quite good. Apparently I was the only person at the table who could read and speak Mandarin so they made me look through the menu to order stuff. Good grief, everything was in 'fan ti' Chinese. I wasn't much use...Boos!

Went to Greenwich (heh heh, the place were they start counting time) then the National Maritime Museum. This year is the 2ooth anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar so there was this huge Nelson and Napoleon exhibition. Pretty good exhibition! They displayed some navy uniforms that the Great Men wore and they were TINY! Oh dear dear...heroes should be tall big and strong yea? These two were tiny men...dear me. Very good museum and displays indeed. Then went to Cutty Sark to see the one and only remaining tea clipper in the world. Massive that ship! Had a great many photos taken, can't be bothered to upload any. Nahs, too lazy.

Watched 'The Last Emperor' and I doubt the historical accuracy of the show.

Sunday 23rd Oct

Woke up real late. Went to Sheffield Park (someplace in Essex or Surrey I can't remember). It's so beautiful. Autumn is really the best month to see the riot of colours; green, orange, red and yellow and 'botak' ie. trees with no leaves at all. But they say summer is best for the rhododendrons. The park is just so lovely! I shall upload those wonderful photos someday, but that day is not today. Today is lazyday. England has such charming climate and great plants. I love it! I love the silverbirch best of all...I know, this sounds so gay, like I'm totally besotted with trees and plants but the scenery is absolutely fantastic!

Watched the Nelson celebration on TV. There's this group of barmy people. They spent a year and a half constructing a half- size replica of the HMS Victory and on the anniversary day, they BURNT the whole thing?! Oh my gawd! Stark raving mad. Barmy these people...

Watched 'Gladiator' and I also doubt the historical accuracy of it all.

Monday 24th Oct

Woke up even later today. Went out with Po- Siann again. She showed me how to get from home to the nearest train station. Fairly easy. Took public transport to Charing Cross then via Piccadilly Line to Covent Garden to 'walk walk see see'. With no particular destination in mind, somehow we managed to get ourselves to Holborn. Wow, Holborn with the very very posh barrister quarters, Royal Justice Courts and frighteningly old Lincoln Inn (built in the 1700s I think). Argh. The buildings are so old and posh...

Went to Chinatown for lunch at...WONGKY'S. Nah, it's not really called 'wongky', just that I can't spell it. Heh, had my Chinese food. Good old Chinese food, roasted pork with charsiew and rice. Good old boiled rice! Nothing beats Chinese food yea? *smug grins* I think I'm going to be intoxicated with Chinese food then I'll start craving for cheese again. Whatever.

Went to see a horrendous art exhibtion. A very controversial one indeed. The van Gogh 'Sunflowers', but they were all wilting. Many other famous pictures all horribly distorted and with queer additions. Stood outside the gallery and looked in, I wouldn't go in. Neither would Po- Siann nor Richard. The only problem; the gallery was full of RATS. Yes, rats (the grey things will tails that crawl up and down). Rat droppings were everywhere! The rats were supposed to help invoke 'strong' feelings when one looks at the paintings. Yeah, strong feelings of revulsion. Yea, yea. Batty...

Went around to look for D of E stuff. Terrible, everything's just so expensive. Coll suggested that we ask our parents to pay for these camping equipment and treat it as our Christmas present. But I DON'T want those stuff for Xmas! Good grief. I would rather have a relatively cheaper Harry Potter movie ticket. More sensible. Argh, I feel guilty...So expensive and I know NOTHING about choosing these outdoor stuff. Gosh!

Going to Blacks to look at more expedition stuff tomorrow. Shall drop by the British Museum as well. Cya.

Love,
-xinying-

2 days to half- term

2005-10-19T19:50:00.000+01:00

Gosh, I'm so happy. It's like 2 tiny little negligible days to half- term. I'll be able to LEAVE Cheltenham at last (the trip to Bristol didn't count). Yes, no school, no tiresome teachers and best of all, no tedious boarding house rules to follow! Well, I'm not saying that staying in a boarding house is bad, just that, there are lots of rules especially when I've just come from HC (teachers there don't give a damn whether you wear a necklace or a ring that hasn't got any recognised religious symbols) where the rules were reasonably slack.

Okay, breathe in and out, I mustn't get myself so excited, it's bad for my mental health. Overexcitement can lead to a person looking thoroughly silly.

Anyway, it's so annoying. I thought that Caucasians paid a lot of attention to hols and therefore would not give holiday prep. Unfortunately, they're more mean than what I had previously thought. Guess what, I've stupid prep to complete over the span of next week. And an upcoming Stats, Bio and Chem test to be contented with. Revision, revision. How cheerful can that get? Very. Notice the sacarsm. Ha ha. Prep...*dull and vacant expression* The good news, I'm nearly done with packing my suitcase. The bad news, I've just gotta hang in there and wait for 2 more days before I make my exit.

Just some random thoughts about College...
I think that the Lower College block stinks. It smells so strange. The Main Library smells too. Not of newly printed, fresh books but of the rotting wooden bookshelves and old paper. Most of the books in there seriously need to be condemned. They are so old and yellow, a wonderful breeding ground for silverfish and everything else that is nasty.
Talking about old books. I cannot understand why the College gives us old textbooks. When I mean old, they're printed in 1975...that kind of old. The fact remains that information is ever- changing, it is pointless giving students old and tattered textbooks when the content may very well be outdated. Look at the Chem databooks. Mine's in pieces. I'd rather buy my own textbooks, in that way, at least I will take really good care of them. However, the idea of the school providing textbooks is quite reasonable to me. At least we won't make the mistake of purchasing a really useless, simple one with lots of factual errors.
The corridor leading to the Science blocks are so narrow. It's impossible for two people to squeeze past. The stairs are creaky and threaten to cave in any minute. Gives me the shivers. Brrr...
I like the idea of a Careers Library. Lots of sensible and helpful reference books in there. Careers...sigh. I wish I had a very definite idea of what I want to be. My options are still open though.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. half- term, gracious me...I can hardly wait :o)

LifeSaver Plus

2005-10-17T13:53:00.000+01:00

Lalala...Had a whole day of First Aid training yesterday, right from 830am to 530pm. That makes a whopping 9 hours! Hmm, I remembered going through a first aid course in HC as well, but unfortunately, nothing got into my head. All I know is that I was left terribly confused with the rolls and rolls of bandages lying on the floor, in various weird shapes and sizes. And in HC, it was like 10 people to a 'fainting' mannequin. I didn't perform CPR on it because it looked so old and dirty. Eeyer. Basically, I gained nothing from that session except for the general rule: DO NOT ever wrap plastic bags around major burns because it will stick. The doctor in the Burns ward will then have a hell of a time trying to peel that off bit by bit, the patient will have a hell of a time screaming too.

But anyway, back to yesterday's course.

First, watched some powerpoint slides of people meeting with all types of accidents (rather retarded, this guy on a car purposely crashed into an old bloke on a ladder). Discussed head injuries, heart problems, breathing difficulties and fractured bleeding limbs. Wow! Graham (the St John instructor) took us through the 'recovery position' and DR ABC (assess Danger, Response, Airway, Breathing and Circulation). Did some wrapping with bandages and the horrid triangular sort to build 'tents' over imaginary glass shards embedded in the 'patient's' (Laura and Emily) arm. More bandages around the head (ended up looking like pixies and gnomes) to prevent blood squirting out like a fountain. Gosh, an assessment after half- term. They're kidding. No way am I going to pass it and get my cert, I've already forgotten loads and it's only a SINGLE day later. Did CPR on this mannequin too, Laura and I named it 'Andrew'. I'd probably end up hyperventilating and die before the patient if I ever had to do it in real life. It's so hard trying to make the mannequin's chest inflate. Argh, why do I have such weeny lungs with negligible air capacity? Imagine a human body, my lungs are about the size of peas on the bronchioles. Good grief!

Had a busy day. So very busy.

I've made a new resolution. I shall eat right and eat less. That is, no more snacking during tea breaks in Coll (I shan't and will NOT touch any of the stuff they provide in the Garden Common Room). No more visiting the dining hall during afternoon tea time too. Eat a good lunch and small dinner. No extra sugars during dinner. Just a sensible piece of bread. Nice and simple.

Yay...I shall be SLIM!!!

Love,
-xinying-

2005-10-15T20:17:00.000+01:00

Oh my god, I CAN knit! I've mastered the purl stitch and the knit stitch, according to Mrs Dorling, I can effectively start knitting 'things' the next session. The Knitting Club will meet again after half- term (that's 2 weeks later) and we will be making small children's things for charity. Mmm. Good! The only problem is having to keep track of the skitches, got to remember which one to knit or the whole pattern will be ruined.

It was my birthday on Thursday, the girls came over to my room to give presents and sing a very noisy Happy Birthday song. Shhh...Really quite unexpected, didn't think that they would really get presents and stuff. Anyways, hmm. Got birthday wishes from my Maths and Physics set, as well as messages from Evelyn, Wei Ying and Rita. Manz, can't wait for the chocolate cake Mrs Fletcher is going to get next Thursday (for 2 other girls and me, whose birthdays all happen to fall around half- term). Got lovely cards from home as well as some very interesting sms- es from the HC guitar exco. Those texts were so cute, each of them sent one word. They then sent the messages to form a complete string of words. Cute!

Why the hell am I closing my eyes? Good grief...

Currently learning this technical piece by Fernando Sor. It's so irritating, the composer named the piece 'One of the 24 VERY EASY...' haha, very funny, I'm suffering while practising the song and it's supposed to be 'chicken feet'. I am terrible, I should read the music notations on the score. Yesterday (Friday), I was complaining to Mr Dunn how terribly difficult the piece was because of the numerous barring required throughout, thus after one week of hard practice I was only able to play (and very pathetically) the first three lines (my index finger too tired to continue any further). He started laughing (like a lunatic) at me...said I should READ, acutally it wasn't necessary to barre that many bars after all. I suck.

This morning's Chem Prac session with Mrs Bate was so 'exciting'. We were supposed to make an Iodine Clock ie. add chemicals to starch and the mixture should go blue- black after exactly ONE minute. Close enough, my group got 64s and 55s. Really close.

Today's session of Paperclip Physics was most productive. My group (actually it's just the 3 of us, not really big enough to be considered a 'group') managed to understand a wee bit more of the Bernoulli Principle and come up with explanatory diagrams and concepts. Thought about the force vector diagram as to why the ball stays stationary in a moving stream of air. Not too bad after all. Hopefully we might be able to win the College Heats and move on to the Gloucestershire County Finals. Aaah, shan't think too much about winning, it's the understanding of fascinating concepts that is more important (I'm being so 'correct'). The winner of the County Finals will then move on to the National Finals. Wow! That will just be a far- fetched dream...unattainable...

Chatted to Amy and Mel online. So happy, two of my wonderful friends!

Went shopping myself this afternoon. A plus point about shopping alone (though it is not really encouraged) is that I finally managed to find my way around town. Quite good considering my sense of direction and memory is rather crappy. By mistake, I entered the more dodgy town area near McDonalds and Tesco's. Argh! The horrid thing about shopping in Britain is that I can only buy clothes from the Kids' section. Sigh. I'm so midgety. Shopping for shoes was a disaster. Size 3 was too tight, size 3 1/2 was not any better and size 4 is for giantesses. Most unfortunate, there was NO size 3 3/4. So many pretty shoes, yet I can't wear any. I hate it!

Lifesaver course tomorrow. Sigh, 830 am to 530 pm and that leaves NO time for prep. Why am I so busy? I want to watch DVDs!!

Love,

-xinying-

PS. 9 more weeks to flying back to Singapore. I just can't wait!

very HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

2005-10-12T23:34:00.000+01:00

Seventeen years ago, a slimy hairless thing with a loud strident cry was born (think the helpless Lord Voldemort that Wormtail put in the cauldron). Yeps, that's me! According to my mom, I'm an afternoon baby- born at 4pm in Mt Elizabeth Hospital, Singapore. So, I'm finally seventeen. Seventeen...Dunno, it feels old and gross.

Anyway, the past year has been probably the most important year of my short life. I am going to dedicate a memorial to myself, and I'm warnin' ya, be prepared for the most boring speech ever. Here goes, from 13th October 2004 to 13th October 2005. Wheeeeeeee!

Oct- Just finished the 'O' Level prelims. They were simply dreadful if my memory doesn't fail me. At that time I was worried sick about being not able to even NJ, much less HC (my dream JC like since I was 13 years old). Waited anxiously for the teachers to announce the grade 'moderations' so that hopefully my L1R5 would drop to a perfect 6. Well, I suppose luck was on my side and I did get what I wanted eventually; a low enough L1R5 to enter Hwa Chong.

Went for the HC open house. Mugged and mugged and studied at home. And for the first time in my studying career, I came up with a systematic timetable with studyslots for each of my subjects (I don't usually trust timetables, those titchy little things). Actually, I should have studied like this for my PSLE, then probably I would have done better...I dunno. A timetable is a very useful tool especially when Very Important Exams are looming. It helps you pass those crucial last few days, one just has to follow what's up on the timetable instead of panicking which file to pick up. That's what I discovered only last year, how very slow of me.

Nov- 'O' Levels final in progress. All the sec1-3s chased out of the school, the whole place's nice and quiet for us, sec4 leavers to take the exams in silence. I remember hating each day and wishing for the whole exam affair to end soon. Really horrible, I remember sitting with Yunmin in the stairwell, sadly trying to cram more Chinese words and Geographical facts into our overfilled brains. When all that last minute cramming didn't work, would persuade myself to stop studying with much difficulty, then realising that I was the only one who had done so. Everyone thinks I'm so mentally prepared and confident, but the fact is last minute work just makes me more nervy. People always get the wrong impression.

The Bio paper was a disaster. Cambridge made a grusome mistake in one of the questions and that left us (poor candidates) utterly bewildered and demoralised. That paper was so easy (draw a food pyramid) yet so hard (basically the rest of all the questions). I nearly bungled up Maths by plotting wrong points and drawing a wrong wrong wrong cumulative frequency curve. Only managed to correct it and put in a rather odd- looking but nonetheless correct curve in the last 5 minutes. Geography brought about much physical suffering (as usual), hands overused and very sore. I believe that Chemistry was the last paper. No burning of notes and no shopping spree, just a very numb mind. At that time, it was really so unbelievable that my RV life was over, all the hard work put in during sec3 and 4 had finally...so unbelievable! Cliche, it seems almost yesterday...

Sat for Wycombe Abbey's entrance paper too. To think about it, the paper was really easy and the interview with Mrs Davies (in June) had gone fairly well.

Dec- Did nothing but slack at home and completed the PAE. Received the news that I had been accepted by Wycombe. Went to Hokkaido for holiday, the cold was marvellous.

Last December was perhaps the best month in my whole life. It's life having a long, good and well- deserved break after 2 long hard years of studying and studying. When I mention 'break', the post 'O' Level month is a REAL holiday, not the pretend sort with lots of homework to accompany it, no work no composition no nothing. Brilliant! During that month, sometimes I did feel a little bored, admittedly, I'm very unused to being so free. The teachers in RV made sure we were never free, they would load us with so much work. With too much free time on my hands, I did feel quite lost at times. Despite all the complaints (as written above), I had never had a better rest.

Jan- The beginning of JC life in Hwa Chong. It started off with a week of orientation, honestly it was quite fun really. Erm...being in my 'dream' school, sitting in for my very first lectures, the S70 class games, the faculty wargames and of course, last but not least, the mass dances. The first month in HC was great because there wasn't that much work and stress levels, an all- time low. Joined HC Guitar Ensemble. Biology, Chemistry, Maths and Econs. School hours long but bearable, considering all the practice that I've had in RV (LLM always made us stay back till 6pm to finish up with Physics experiments and I used to stay back in school to mug with Shi Ning and Huiling).

Feb- Release of 'O' Level results. Throughout the whole of February, one could almost feel the tension increase ever so steadily. People would spread all sorts of ridiculous rumours about when the results would be released and the whole world would watch out for the News that night. One false alarm followed by another, 'It's released on the 14th.' 'No, the 21st'. Well well, the 28th of February. Then another appallingly stupid rumour- the colour of the envelope one received reflects the grades one will get. Brown means L1R5 of 14 points and white envelope meaning 6-8 points. Absolutely remarkable, where these rumour mongers get all these fabulous ideas from. Simply amazing...apparently, they've got too much free time on their hands.

I did better than I expected. Happy and estatic, definitely. But the only problem; I promised myself that if I did very badly for the 'O's, I would agree to be sent overseas without a single word of protest. However, if I managed to get into HC, I would consider remaining in Singapore. The acceptance letter from the CLC came. I had to make the hardest choices ever, #1: choose between an education in the UK or Singapore. #2: choose between Wycombe or the CLC. Much as I wanted to remain in HC (after all I tried so hard to get in and I finally did), an overseas education would be better in terms of all- rounded development and a chance to escape from the pressures of the local education system.

March- Signed up for a Bio course and prepared my very first UV- luminous E.coli. Benefitted from the course as I was given the opportunity to make use of micropipettes so on and so forth. Very interesting and I learnt much about the BSE, prions, PCR and fasciitis. Lovely!

Guitar practices just revolved around practising Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars and Mambo. Felt pretty bored at times. Nevertheless, I survived all the 'boring' and 'repetitive' practices.

JAE during the March hols and was really sad to lose some friends to other schools. Changed subject combination too. S7D- trip science and Maths. New teachers, new classmates and everything.

May- Soiree concert. Had much fun as part of the backstage crew. Got to know Mel and Chris (xiao mei and er mei), sort of the best thing that happened to me this year. Hesitated, talked to many people and finally decided to run for guitar exco elections. It was so hard on my courage, it took so much inner strength to simply fill up and submit that form. Hmm...never really expected myself to manage to speak in front of so many people. And as for presenting that skit with Amanda and Chris, preparing it and rehearsing the whole thing was so fun. Most memorable and a new breakthrough- I've finally overcome my fear of standing up in front of lots of people. Good for me.

June- Missed the Mongolia OCIP because I handed the form in ONE day late. Fine. Fine. Didn't allow myself to cry over spilt milk. Most of the June hols was dedicated to guitar exco meetings, guitar practices, mugging for the scary HC Block Tests and guitar JTS. Thoroughly enjoyed June. Did a 3- day crash course on sailing. I suppose I'll never go sailing again, it's not my kind of thing. The wind was deliberately going against me. On the first day, I couldn't really sail well yet (beginner only okay), and the wind had to blow so strongly. Capsized. Did expended all my energy trying to get the boat back floating. The next day when I was more or less prepared, there was NO wind. Not even the tiniest breeze of flutter of a pathetic blade of grass. Nothing. No wind. 0.0000kmph. It's the experience that counts.

July- BTs. Ended up with a fantastic CDEEO. My mom nearly died. Lots of SPA.

August- Tried to be more independent by doing my own CLC correspondence with the Registrar and Admissions Tutor. Got my VISA and other necessities. It's so hard to say goodbye, especially to places and things I've become so fond of. Miserable, it's terrible having to leave school prematurely for whatever reason. I'm quite surprised how much I actually love RV and HC (normally I'm anti- school). Maybe it's due to the fact that...bidding them goodbye does make a world of a difference yea?

***

Ahwells. 12 months have passed since my 16th birthday (by the way, why do people generally refer to 16 as 'sweet 16'?). Too fast, it's gone by too quickly. I'm seventeen. Seventeen. It's been an eventful and fruitful year. I've learnt much and experienced much. I've challenged myself and overcomed old obstacles. I've a brand new world ahead of me. Goodnight. A most delightful year.

Happy birthday to me.

Love,

-xinying-

PS. sorry for the long and extremely uninteresting entry. I wrote it mainly for self- satisfaction and an attempt at reflection and remembrance.

The Physics Ballet

2005-10-08T13:29:00.000+01:00

Today's Saturday which means it's nearing the end of THIS week! Yippee! Like duh, who doesn't know that Saturday/ Sunday marks the end of a week. Anyway, it's really significant because this means that half- term break is only a weeny two weeks away! Half- term will be so good, it just means going to London and not having to face any teachers or prep (if I don't accidentally put any into my suitcase). London...Chinatown...Chinese food...dimsum. Being able to smell Asian food is already a luxury, I'm thoroughly sick of anything with cheese and potatoes in it. Talking about food, the dining hall staff did try to whip up some beef rendang and rice. Well, it isn't everyday we get something that looks remotely Asian. Beef rendang is great, the only thing...it doesn't really taste right (I mean the way they cook it). There's something missing, spices...flavour...Well, better than cheesy cauliflower and spaghetti anyway.

In the whole school week, nothing much happened...lesson after lesson, prep followed by more prep and the C1 Maths test.

But yesterday..aha! The Physics Ballet at the Bristrol Hippodrome by the Rambert Ballet Company. 2005 marks the 100th anniversary since Einstein published his 3 most ground- breaking papers (2005 - 100 = 1905). Relativity, photoelectric effect and...and...whatever. Guess what, the ballet's called *drumrolls*...
...Constant Speed!
No prizes for guessing.

Ms Brandon got us safely into the bus at Parabola Road (such a horrid Mathematical name!), packed supper was okay, my beautiful cucumber sandwiches ruined by the dreadful cream cheese the dining hall staff put in it. I hate cheese nowadays and I don't wonder why. The journey from Cheltenham to Bristol's about an hour. As I always say, the English countryside scenery is ever so lovely, dotted about with sheep and cows (just that the sky kind of started getting dark and I couldn't see anything else). The English are really so lucky to live in such a pretty country...I wish Singapore had more land...

Ms Brandon told us not to laugh and giggle at the dancing men in tights...what so funny?

The ballet's kind of abstract...during the last one- third of the dance, the dancers DID wear spiky hats and moved about the stage pretty much randomly (they're pretending to be pollen grains when viewed under a microscope, this demonstrates Brownian motion). I didn't get the subsequent parts where they dressed in costumes reflecting colours of the rainbow...what Physics theory does that represent? Hmm...I don't know, haven't learnt it yet. I've made up my mind, I still prefer the traditional ballet, Swan Lake, Sleeping Beauty, the Nutcracker blah. The Trocks are okay too, they're really amusing.

Was so sleepy...need sleep.

And as for today, did the stupid ISCO Morrisby test (it's supposed to give accurate predictions about one's future career). Last week's pre- test was dumb enough 'Are you interested in farming? Do you like plumbing?'. The test today was even weirder.

The invigilator somehow thought that we all were retarded spastic kids of the worst degree, she insisted on reading ALL the instructions aloud to us and very, very slowly (like we can't understand English). One section of this psychometric test was about filling in the missing numbers, choosing shapes, looking at sequences. The last section was unbelievable! We were made to write the letter 'S' in as many boxes in 45 seconds. Then we had to write the same letter 'S' backwards as many times as possible filling up the given boxes. Next, using your right hand, connect the dots. Then using your LEFT hand, do the same without touching the boundary lines. I suck at it. I suppose they'll assign me a ridiculous career like...actually no career is ridiculous, it's just that they don't match the person's personality.

The vice- principal recalled doing such a test when she was 16. The test results were- 1st choice career, museum curator, 2nd choice career, assistant museum curator. As for my academic tutor, the test predicted that she would be a hairdresser...omg.

Gym induction at 3.

Love,
-xinying-

Back to School

2005-10-04T22:53:00.000+01:00

The glorious exeat weekend is sadly over. I could have spent it more meaningfully, say next time I should lie in until 1pm then watch the telly by MYSELF for the whole day. It's a bit annoying having people around you on an exceptionally lazy day. Those two days were the best so far, nice and quiet and I'm left sufficiently alone to mind my own business. It's a whole month and fifteen more days to the next fixed exeat and eighteen days more to half- term. Gosh, I love all these breaks in between, does make life at CLC more bearable. Though I don't get to go home, at least I'll get away from College and the people (not that my friends are evil or anything but I love being alone, I need space!!).

Yesterday was more or less like the previous Monday, nothing much worth blogging about really. It was yesterday that I finally realised how bored I actually get during the lessons. Did acid- base titration for Chem Prac (had to make own standard solution as usual). The calculations were more or less, very straightforward (the polite word for 'goddamn easy'), the sort that Ms Cheong (in RV) would expect us to finish within five minutes and the kind that Mrs Chan wouldn't bother explaining (in HC). Sad for me, Mr Chalmers insisted on going through every single step with the class (not to mention that he used the longest method available?!). Nearly died of boredom...Maths lesson, Mrs Fletcher is teaching simple differentiation (the sort that Mr Choy wouldn't make us try simply because it would be a waste of time). Sigh...looks like I've just got to sit still and try to prop my eyelids open. I MUST look interested! Can't wait for them to start on a new topic, aaah, Organic Chem tomorrow...that's something new at least.

Yoga yesterday evening was good. Dr Laver certainly has a very soothing voice when she gives the yoga/ stretching instructions. Aaaaaaaaaahh. It's so relaxing.

Medlink person called. Thank goodness the problem of payment is now solved, gives me peace of mind at last. I dislike worrying about such things yea?

Today's Chem lesson with Mrs Bate was well, put it this way, I didn't really learn anything new. She continued with electron configuration ie. the spdf notations etc. Did all this stuff in HC in Jan with Mr Loi...I still remember that particular lecture, I was so impressed by the new way of writing it=) Nothing new, nothing new...The only interesting thing that managed to stick in my head is how brilliant the Periodic Table's arrangement is. It's so clever. It's totally possible to deduce the electronic configuration of an element with very high atomic number almost instantaneously without going '1s2s2p3s...' just based on the position of that element. So ingenious! Why did I not spot this trend earlier? Impressed with Mendeleev.

Maths - did more Stats. Standard deviation, mean and variance. Summation of this and that...how very tiresome! So dreary! Loads of formulas, I hope it'll all be down on the formula list given in the exams, I so dread to memorise these horrid equations and stuff. Takes up so much brain space. Can't wait to move onto Mechanics for A2, it's anytime more logical than Statistics.

Actually I don't know why I'm complaining about knowing most of the stuff in lessons. I should rejoice that I'm able to 'act smart' because I've learnt it before. This eight- month worth of headstart is in fact a good thing, it allows me to be so very relaxed during lessons and of course, it's undeniably nice to be able to answer questions confidently (with the knowledge that you'll definitely get the teacher's question right). I shan't complain no more. Yea!

Tennis was pretty bad. I think I'm worse this week. Boos! I think the coach got kind of tired with me whacking the tennis balls all over the place that he suggested playing 'touch tennis'. It's like an amateur's game of babyish tennis. Players just play within half of the service box ie. hit the ball as gently as possible, ball not allowed to go anywhere near baseline. Yippeeeee, I won *grins very smugly* merely because I cheated. Boos! Whatever...

Bridge was good. Mrs Silcock taught us the technique of bidding. Aaah, so clever the way these rules are made. Somehow for this session I kept bidding '3 no trump', how very monotonous! I've still not fully gotten the hang of the game yet, as in which card to lead and which to sacrifice. Memorising which cards have 'come out' is so taxing on my brain. Lost a trick because I forgot that Gorsia still had that Ace of Hearts. Bleahx...I'm getting old...Mrs Silcock's so nice, drove us back to our Houses in her car. To think of it, it's been such a long time since I last sat in my parents' car (note: I walk, WALK to school everyday now, no more mommy to drive me around).

Tomorrow...argh, Bio Prac tomorrow with Miss Poole means 'sianified'. She is so demanding.

My birthday in another nine more days. Let the countdown begin...
This year, no presents and no birthday songs with my family, ahwells it can't be helped can it?

Love,
-xinying-

First fixed exeat

2005-10-01T21:37:00.000+01:00

Friday 30th Sept

Did the ISCO pre- test (the real one is 3 hours long), it's a test which supposedly helps you make decisions about your future career. Some questions were to me, pretty ridiculous eg 'Are you interested in plumbing?' or 'Do you fancy a career in agriculture?'. Like duh, what crap test is this when they ask you to your face what you want to be?

Guitar lesson went well. Just got a Fernando Sor book for technical pieces, *big smiles* I love technical pieces! Still having problems with barring for Lagrima, why oh why are my fingers so weak? Having difficulty with the expression as well (the song is so SO expressive), sigh, I suppose I'll just have to work doubly hard on this piece. Cool, Mr Dunn revealed that one of his guitar teachers was a student of Tarrega...awesome!

Had speech and drama lesson with Olivia and Miss Greeph. Okay, fine...I have problems with my constanants and th- es. Bleahx. She made me say 'cup of tea', I feel like poor Eliza Doolittle (then Miss Greeph can be Higgins). Cup of tea. Yeah, and no thanks for reminding me I speak too fast, I know I do. Useful lesson all the same, at least I know where I should work on now.

Received the Duke of Edinburgh form via SLAB from Mrs Vincents. Went to her to clarify certain stuff. Am I mad? Me, participating in D of E (it's the British equivalent of Singapore's NYAA, you have to complete a Skill, Service, Sport, Expedition and Residential project for Gold entrants, which is ME!), it's so impossible! I really don't fancy going for the Walking expedition, the taster session will be in November, cold and wet in the hilly regions of England. How, how...how very pleasant...I'll just freeze! There'll be icicles forming on my face and legs. Why on earth subject myself to this kind of torture? It's for my future...sigh. Assessment will be in the Summer hols, gosh, this means sacrificing the hols and subjecting myself to some kind of physical torture, I am so NOT looking forwards to it. The rest will be easy enough to complete though. Gosh.

Fixed Exeat; all the British girls go home for the weekends. The only people who stay in the open House (Cambray's the open house) are the international students (ya ya, I'm included), 90% of them from Hong Kong. I'm one of the only two Singaporeans, it doesn't matter really. It's so undescribable, that feeling of jealousy when I saw the local girls packing up for home/ parents fetching their daughters home. I wish I were one of them...I miss home so much, it's so unfair, they get to go back to their home sweet home, to their family and friends while I'm stuck here with no one to tuck me in at bedtimes. I suppose we international girls are so much stronger mentally. We leave home (and our country) for a foreign land, new school, new culture, new environment and perhaps might come across some form of racism...It's like being transported to the other side of the globe, all alone...for a whopping fourteen months at a go. I miss home...

The house is nice and quiet. I love the solitude. The lack of noise is extremely peaceful. I'm happy being in the near- empty Beale House.

Stayed up till one in the morning.

Today

It's Saturday. Woke up fairly late, 9.

Watched the telly in Cambray's pink drawing room. Surprise, surprise, there's only ONE channel on TV- it's the kids channel! Hooray...The program broadcast was totally nonsensical, some stupid celebrity gameshow (with people dumping muck on each other's head) and a few cartoons inserted in between. Rubbish. stuff I watched this morning makes Singapore's channel 8 Mediacorp soap opera telly serials look totally intelligent. Good grief! Why can't they suscribe to something more meaningful, say Friends? No, just joking...how about the Discovery Channel or BBC news? There's a serious lack of educational programs on the telly.

Went out with Elin and Helen to catch Pride and Prejudice (the one with Keira Knightley). The producers didn't really make much alterations to the storyline, that's good (the ORIGINAL story is lovely, I don't think I would've been able to stand it if they add a redundant character etc.) but I quite dislike the casting. I shan't be biased just because I already have my own interpretation of what each character should be like. On the whole, it was a good movie (better than The Last of the Mohicans where they wrecked the whole story).

Suddenly missed home a lot. Maybe it's because of the weather.

Supper was uncommonly good. They served mutton burger with delicious onions and Mars bar ice cream. Good good.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. I should really start studying. I'm here to study and not to relax, I shall constantly remind myself of this fact. Study study study. I love studying. I will not waste my time tomorrow.

Yippeee!

2005-09-29T20:10:00.000+01:00

Physics lesson today was so super duper fun. Still on radioactivity but did an experiment which simulated the half- life of radioactive compounds. Dr Ralph gave us a bag of 500 dice, each with one blue face. The task: toss the dice and if it lands on the blue face, it has 'decayed', if otherwise, toss it again until it 'decays' eventually. Tossed and tossed and plotted the exponential graph of (number of dice remaining) against (number of throws). The best part was when she proved how to obtain the decay constant lambda. So cool! Lambda equals to the probability of a part of the radioactive nuclei decaying, uber cool! If you were to substitute the radioactive compound with a fair coin, then 'lambda' will be 0.5. Really interesting how these things link together.

Went for my very first knitting session with Mrs Dorling, Zakiyyah and a few UC5s. It's like oh my god, Xinying who neither sews, cooks nor is interested in any kind of handicraft has taken up KNITTING (such a granny hobby), what is the world coming to? But anyway, yea, I joined the CLC Knitting Club, not too bad huh? I'm honestly very bad at knitting, couldn't even hold the knitting needles right. Mrs Dorling agreed when I said my fingers looked like a weird bunch of bananas, how very unprofessional! In the end, I did it, knitted a row successfully. Yippee! Knitting is fun. She also lent us the Ladybird knitting book (a kiddy book, recall the ladybird series).

Gosh, so I'm not going back to Singapore on the 10th after all...sigh, Medlink. It'll be another 2 long long weeks before I get to see my home sweet home. Ahwells...

Haha, tomorrow night is the start of fixed exeat. No school on Saturday and it'll be movie and TV marathon and of course, not forgetting Frankie and my knitting. Beale will be nice and quiet, aaah...after long last.

Love,
-xinying-

2005-09-28T18:21:00.000+01:00

It's been at least three weeks alone and away from home. Goodness. I'd never expect myself to be so erm, 'brave'...not sure if this is the most apt word to use. I am such a baby, calling home everyday. Can't help it, can I? Maybe I might be able to survive without calling home for one day but there will be this 'something's missing' feeling of emptiness. Used to throw loads of tantrums and unexplained tempers at home (that is, before I came to the CLC), now no one's going to put up with my incessant whining or bouts of temper. Undeniably, this calls for a lot of self- control despite being in the most terrible and foul mood (one can't just holler at newly- made friends for apparently no reason at all, you will be ditched). I hate exercising such self- checks on myself, it's so tiring and annoying, it restricts one's freedom of expression. But of course in the real world, one has to put up a front ('front' not as in 'facade' but in a more positive way, erm...think of it as trying to be pleasant to others in spite of all the horrible things that just happened a few minutes ago). I guess this is the price you pay for being human. Dogs can attack other dogs if they please but humans can't do the same simply because we're HUMAN ie. the most intelligent of species with the innate ability to think, make choices and exercise self- discipline blah.

The previous paragraph may sounds like garbled trash. Yea. I'm being long- winded again, rambling on and on (so typical of me!).

Hated yesterday's WET (wilderness expertise training) aka Sixth form college induction, it's basically like some orientation with stupid ice- breaker games (hey lookie, I'm being so pessimistic). Yes, you heard me right. I hated it. Felt terribly left out again, it's just that I'm not good at making new friends in such a short space of time and I need a long time to warm up to people. But at least it's over. I shall forget about it, it and all the nasty memories.

Tennis lesson (field) was okay. Did more forehand practices plus a wee bit of backhand and serving. I still suck at tennis. Just imagine a cross- eyed toad scrambling desperately to hit the ball and missing it. Yea, that's me. Yours truly has absolutely no affinity for catching balls. What a klutz! Left with an aching hand.

Had Bridge club at 5 down at Col. I'm very impressed with Mrs Silcock (the Bridge teacher I/C and The One who imparts the Bridge knowledge). She managed to remember my name (and pronounce it correctly) just after one Bridge session with her (this is fantabulous, considering that many 'angmohs' can never pronounce Chinese names properly). She rocks! Played mini bridge again. She promised to teach us the bidding part next week (that is, after the fixed exeat week. Oh my oh my...so looking forwards to the exeat, no school! ).

My silly laptop finally decided that it was spoilt. So irritating.

Love,
-xinying-

Hello hello, back again!

2005-09-25T21:58:00.000+01:00

Friday 23rd September

Had prayers first thing in the morning (it’s kind of like having the usual assembly and singing of the national anthem in HC and RV). Not Christian but it’s a compulsory thing every girl has to attend, like it or not, it’s a mark of respect for others religious beliefs. Some prayer sessions are really good when they talk about the human soul, the others are well, let’s put it this way: I don’t have to believe everything Reverend Merry says.

Rushed off for guitar lessons with Mr Dunn immediately after Prayers. Bad luck on my part, why oh why do I have music lessons right after this prayer cum assembly session (you know how things often drag and it eats into my music lesson time). Guitar lesson was great as usual; it probably is the only thing I look forwards to attending. Moved on to a beautiful classical Spanish piece Lagrima by Tarrega, according to Mr Dunn it means something like ‘tear drop’. For measly beginners like me, it’s really hard when I’ve got to barre the 2nd, 9th and 10th frets. I wish I didn’t have such short, stubby and feeble fingers. Lovely song! By the way, anyone has the mp3 for it please send it to me.

Talked to a Miss Harper about changing my lesson timeslot and extending it to 45mins instead of half and hour (it’s almost impossible to get anything done in such a short period of time). She was SO helpful, told me that it was absolutely impossible to shift the other girls and I would have to put up with it and try my luck next year. Geez, that’s A LOT of help (look, look, see the droplets of sarcasm dripping?). No thanks! Late for lessons due to Prayers and late for my next lesson (Bio) because I have to run all the way from the music block to the science block.

Was late for Bio for the second consecutive time. Miss Poole gave me that look, I can’t really describe it but it was definitely anything but pleasant. And I haven’t forgotten the fact that she screamed at me two days ago (my gawd, I’m only a new student!). I hate it, wish I can change my music lesson timeslot if not I’ll either have to be late for the whole year or alternatively, leave guitar lessons 5mins earlier. The point is if I go late and leave early for guitar lessons, my precious half hour will end up somewhere nearer 10mins. Then what’s the point of attending lessons, they are so expensive! Stupid timetable, most annoying.

Physics was good. Dr Ralph let us experiment with REAL radioactive sources. Unfortunately for me, there weren’t enough sources to go round so Helen and I had to make do with a computer simulated click- and- drag alpha, beta and gamma sources. How disappointing! Pretty cool anyway, the thought of having REAL sources around College. Apparently before one gets into contact with these sources, you have to sign some sheet regarding safety precautions and kids under 16 aren’t supposed to handle them, it’s against the law.

Was supposed to have drama lessons with Olivia after Physics but NOBODY told me anything about it like where and when and with whom. I didn’t even know I’d managed to get a drama slot in the first place. Wasn’t my fault that I didn’t turn up for my very first lesson. What a waste. Let’s see who I can put the blame on…aha! My academic tutor. She should have informed me. Perhaps the drama coordinator? I ought to have been notified. Annoyingly inefficient people.

Saturday 24th September

Went shopping in the afternoon with Elin. Shopped the whole afternoon away for clothes, handbags and shoes. I’m getting so vain. Felt guilty after spending all that money. My parents work so hard to get me here and just look at me, spending it so casually. Well not really, I need those items quite badly for theatre/ drama trips, more smart- looking mufti, I have to be presentable right? Oooh, will wear all these new things for the Physics ballet in Bristol. This sounds really lame but a PHYSICS BALLET?! No, you haven’t heard me wrong, it’s indeed a Physics ballet with a slight difference. Instead of the dancers twirling to Swan Lake or the Firebird, they will pretend to be pollen grains and move randomly and jerkily as in Brownian motion. They will somehow also attempt to dance out the famous equation E=mc2. Don’t ask me how they’re gonna do it now, I’ll tell once I’ve seen it.

Tried to read up a bit about Organic Chemistry before Mr Chalmers lesson on Tuesday; how the carbon atoms get excited and become hybridised (stuff about their orbitals…weird!). I don’t get it!!!!

Stupid laptop refused to work. Kept insisting that I’ve no connection to the school network and that is totally ridiculous. Couldn’t even get the Internet or Microsoft Word started. How terrible! Will attempt to make it work again and if I refuses then muahaha, it shall be banished to the College’s IT support department. The College laptops are really lousy, they keep getting spoilt and numerous sites are off- limits (they blocked it). Worse still, I can’t even change my own laptop’s wallpaper and other basic functions. I don’t believe it, it’s really not worth its price.

Spent the remaining pre- bedtime hours sewing my nametapes onto my pillow and duvet covers before they are sent down to the Laundry on Sunday. I can’t sew for nuts.

Sunday (today) 25th September

Got up early at 8 and was down at breakfast by 830. Stripped the bed sheets and changed everything. Normally I don’t do this, my maid does it for me. I miss her, now I’ve got to do everything on my own and it sucks. No chance for me to be lazy. According to the Housemistresses, one should change the bed linen and covers on a weekly basis but oho, yours truly prefers to stick to doing it fortnightly. I’m lazy and piggy, see.

Went down to the shared computer lab (shared between Beale and Cambray) and got down to replying my emails. After typing such a long letter to my sister, the com had to say ‘sorry no connection to gmail, try again’. Sucker. It was impossible to copy, paste or even print all that I’d typed, this is so bad. No choice but had to handwrite the whole letter to my sis, hope it’ll reach her soon by snail mail. These computer things are so unreliable. But now my idiotic laptop’s back in working order and I’m connected to gmail again…I wish it’d stopped playing the fool with me.

Called Mayping and Christine. It’s so nice talking to friends back home.

Spent the whole afternoon in the Pink Drawing Room watching Bruce Almighty and Friends. That’s *tada*, four precious hours gone! Looks like I’ll have to work doubly hard before the fixed exeat next week.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. good griefI'm not going home during half term which means 11 more weeks before I can go home (Xmas hols). 11 weeks is such a long time isn't it?

Tuesdays are long days

2005-09-20T23:31:00.000+01:00

Today is a stupid day- just Chem and Math lessons and quadruple free period. Lame.

Sophie's World is just getting more and more interesting and engaging. Who the hell is Hilde? Why's her father so cranky and weird? How does Alberto Knox fit into the picture? If you happen to know, DON'T tell me, I want to find out myself. I love the feeling when you finally get to the end of a book (good or bad). It's like the end of a long, long journey 'out of memory and time'...The philosophical part of it just gets more complicated. To make things easier, why think so much? Why can't people accept the world as it is and stop asking so many questions? I think this intrinsic quality is what makes us what we are- humans, by far, the most intelligent beings around for the time being (we haven't discovered any life form way ahead yet).

Read a bit more of the book. First on the benches in the garden (to be closer to nature, the tree beside me is so beautiful, it has the smoothest bark ever) then in the Main Library (just to keep Helen company while she did her prep). The Main Library's horribly stuffy. Fell asleep more than once while attempting to read the book. The Library's also very old, it reeks of wood and everything ancient. Gross!

At 215pm, walked with Isabella all the way to Well Place for tennis coaching. Shit! Neither of us remembered the code that Alexa told us last week. Tried to punch in random digits and alphabets but the tall wooden doors just refused to budge. There was a notice stuck up on the door 'Call the CLC sports centre or walk down to meet the staff if you ever forget the code'. Damn! Neither of us brought along our mobiles so had comply with the latter suggestion and we made our way down to the Sports Hall. Found Ms Brotherhood and she told us the code and to go all the way back to Well Place and wait for the coaches there (I still haven't forgotten the fact that there were NO coaches last week, and NOBODY informed me that lessons hadn't started yet). Ooooh! Found the coaches there and hooray! NOBODY informed us that instead of 215, our lessons were supposed to be at 330 instead. Great. Walked all the way back from Well Place to Beale only to walk back again at 330 for lessons. Great, did lots of walking...*rolls eyes* maybe it'll help me lose some fats.

Tennis lesson was horrible. Not because the coach bullied me or was nasty or what. Just that I hate learning a new sport from scratch because I suck at sports (and always happen to make a fool of myself by missing return balls). Was complaining to my dad a few minutes ago over the phone that I really pity the coach, he'll have to put up with me (the World's lousiest student) for a rather long time to come. Well, if he's lucky, then to the end of this term (I'll quit and take up something else). If I happen to like tennis so much (which is unfortunate for him), then he'll be forced to teach me for another 2 more years. Wheeee! Cheerful cheerful. He is SO unlucky yea? But then again, it's not my fault that I'm bad at sports. I'm just bad at it. So there! Learnt some new terms, serve line/ base line/ outside and inside whateverlineyoucallit...and tried hitting some balls. I might wind up with a broken wrist tomorrow. My right hand feels heavy...gosh! Spent loads of time picking up balls. Oh dear dear, can't expect much when you're a beginner right?

Lesson ended at 415. Rushed all the way back to Beale to take a quick soapy shower, grabbed the first clothes I saw lying on my bed (my dirty school uniform) and rushed back to College for some stupid medical/ health checkup. I'm fine, I'm fine...I shouldn't have run, had to wait a pretty long time for my turn. Sigh. I should have known better. The medical checkup's quite redundant. The matron/ nurse whateveryoucallher just looked at my health card, said 'Good, good' and took my height and weight and told me to scram. No, she wasn't that mean, bid me goodbye and called the next person. Dear dear, I've SHRUNK! Honey I Shrunk the Kids! Dear me, this is NOT good news. Why on earth am I getting shorter? I drink lots of milk, my calcium intake's pretty good...Must be the scale. I bet the matron tweaked the readings. It's her fault. Haha. Bad news again, I gained 0.5kg. See lar, eat so much, gettting fatter now. Sigh.

Was really late for Bridge Club. Mrs Silcock was nice, didn't chase me away or anything though there was already a comfy team of 4 in the midst of playing (I'm the extra 5th person). Played 2 rounds of mini bridge before she called it a day. Yay! Bridge is fun.

Had junk food party around 9pm. Ate and ate. Tortilla crisps, ferrero chocs, fudgie cookies, nuts and Tolberone chocs. Hmm...should have this eating activity during the fixed exeat weekend and have a movie marathon as well at Cambray (the open house). Good idea. Maybe a meal at the Chinese restaurant and shopping for cheap bargains. Aaah. Exeat!

Love,
-xinying-

PS. Had cleaning duty tonight. Hannah and I had to mop up all the dishes. I agree with her, why can't people just clean up after themselves?

Monday is just another day

2005-09-19T23:20:00.000+01:00

Monday blues. Hate getting up and out of bed.

Huda and I started counting the number of weeks before the Christmas hols (which also means the chance to go home, finally!). 11 more depressing weeks. Geez, that's a long long time more. 11 bloody weeks. Sianified.

Maths lesson was so easy. Finished up cubic polynomials with Mrs Fletcher. The whole chapter just involves factorising ridiculously simple cubic functions (you don't even have to emply long division or synthetic division, it's that easy) and sketching their curves (which doesn't require much brains either). Nearly died when she said that we were going to learn the BASICS of differentiation next lesson. Okay, not everyone in my class took Additional Math at O Levels, I should be more understanding. I predict the lesson will go very slow. Shall be prepared to slack.

Did Bio prac on reducing and non- reducing sugars next. Miss Cutler doesn't seem really particular about the volume of reagents added. What would Ms Lai have said? Hmm, the information taught here is significantly less than what they impart to us in Hwa Chong. In HC, they make memorising the formation and structures of glucose straight- chained and ring form compulsory. Over here, it's just 'You only need to know and recognise it'. How very different! So far, no mention of chiral carbons, anomeric hydroxyls etc. Maybe Singapore is just plain 'kiasu'...I don't know...

Physics went fine too. Finally played with a real REAL calorimeter. In Singapore, I used to describe experiments and mention 'calorimeter' in passing without really knowing what it looked like or how it worked. To me, calorimeter's just associated with 'thermal physics' and 'lagging', no more, no less. I got to touch one today, woohoo¬ Did the 'method of mixtures' experiment to find specific heat capacity and stuff. I don't recall doing any of these experiments back in RV or HC before. Doing it really makes the memorising of steps/ methods much easier. Today's session was a good one.

Quadruple Chem session after lunch, oh manz. It's really weird over here. Back in RV, Ms Cheong used to force us to complete the titration plus all the calculation of values and molarity in 50minutes flat. Used to scream and threaten to give us 'zero' when we tried holding on to (delay handing up) our practical books 1 second longer. This afternoon, Mr Chalmers was like 'Take as much time as you all want to do it...blah'. I don't dare imagine the look on Ms Cheong's face if anyone tells her that. Last year, Ms Cheong would make us work individually and under the strictest exam conditions, over here, we are encouraged to work in pairs (not because there isn't enough burettes to go round). I wonder why...The class took nearly 2 hours to finish up the titration and manipulation of data. That's like so much time! So much so that Melissa and I could repeat the same titration 6 times (with lots of time to spare afterwards).
Geez...I'm still not used to this new- found 'freedom'.

Went to the 'taster' yoga session after tea. Was alright. Did lots of stretching and I have like the most inflexible and stiffest bones ever. Lols.

Sianified. Tomorrow is a stupid day- two lessons only (Chem and Maths) followed by a quadruple free period. Then PE (tennis) in the afternoon. Those coaches had better turn up. I don't pay them for nothing. Anyway, intend to drop tennis in the winter term, it's pretty mad running up and down the court in the snow and rain. I'll just freeze.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. to Mayp (if you see this)...don't worry, I will write to you soon when I find sufficient interesting stuff to tell you, if not you'll be bored to death. Plus the airletter will take 6 days to reach you. Maybe you'll receive a letter from me sometime in October can?

Sunday- official mugging day

2005-09-18T23:27:00.000+01:00

Sundays are sooo good. Practically the only day which I don't need to go down to College or wear the icky school uniform. Ours is a six- day work week, Singaporeans students are so lucky to have a five- day work week (though the daily hours are terribly long).

This morning's (now is 1130pm UK time) weather was remarkably good for sleeping. Nice and cool. With the curtains of my windows drawn and a cosy duvet and pillow, I nearly ignored the alarm clock. Anyway when it rang, I ignored it all the same (gave it a nice hard hit to silence it, oh dear, sounds as though I murdered the clock, 'silence' indeed!). Went back to dreamland again. I should kick this bad habit of giving my alarm clock the cold shoulder. Caused me to oversleep twice. Hope this shall not repeat itself or one fine day, I shall really have to go down to see Miss Kirk for being late. Sigh. It's really so impossible to drag oneself out of bed on an exceptionally lazy morning.

Got to the dining hall pretty late- 9am (that's very late considering they close the hall to prepare for lunch at half- past). To my pleasant surprise...*surprise surprise*, I was one of the rare few who even bothered to wake up to eat. I simply deduced that the rest apparently were still in bed. Lazy lazy. I wish I'd done that. That would've been an insult to my mom's nearly 17 years of hard training, she and her obsession with getting up early and 'early bird gets the worm' theory. Yeah...Mommy, I didn't disappoint you okay, your dear daughter did wake up early to read the newspapers. Impressive, considering the fact that I read the Straits Times once in a blue moon.

Mugged Bio the rest of the morning. That's really pathetic. Read through Miss Poole's notes and rewrote everything again. Then tried to reassure myself of the presence of a bit of hardworking- ness in me (it isn't an intrinsic quality really), read up the super thick Clegg reference book, all about microscopy and about van Leeuwenhoek. By the way, that's not going to come up in the exams...Why on earth did I read it then? I never cease to amaze myself really. Wasted a whole lot of precious time 'prettifying' my Bio file. Sigh.

'I solemnly swear that I will never do such rubbish in the future and seek to use my time on more sensible things.'

Went for lunch with Wei Ying and Vicky. Went to Mayflower again but tried the buffet this time round, it's cheaper than the a la carte (but unfortunately, no duck with the wrapping and sauce). Ate and ate. It's so good eating wholesome Chinese stuff. Chinese cooking rocks my world! Found out some nasty stuff about the teachers. I shall keep an open mind for now. Shall draw my own conclusions after I personally observe and analyse. I'm making 'them' sound like some scientific artefact under an electron microscope but ahwells...

Finally discovered the location of the National Express bus service ticket booth. For your information, the National Express is a 2 hour bus service that can go from Cheltenham (were I am) to London for just £21! And London = Heathrow Airport = flight home. Wonderful! Now I can escape home whenever I want to. Simple, just buy a ticket there and hop onto the bus. Yay. I'm one step closer to escaping home! Nay, that was a feeble joke. I can't escape. I'll have to stick it out here for good or for bad, through fire or water...sounds like I'm taking some marriage oath. I'm being stupid again as usual. Why on earth am I so ridiculous?

Went back to the House to finish off my Bio mugging. Sian. Honestly, nothing managed to penetrate the thick skull of mine.

Wrote a super long letter to Wee. It feels great writing to release those emotions=) Had a hell of a time helping Proud with Chinese (Mandarin that is). The questions are so strange. They want the student to translate the queerest of sentences from English to Chinese. My goodness! The textbook is pretty weird too, they split the Chinese language up into participles, verbs and action words. Oh dear me...I never learned Chinese like this! It just makes the learning harder. Goodness gracious, just imagine a perfect past participle in Chinese. I'd rather die.

Goodnight everyone. I shall sleep tight.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. tomorrow is school again. Sigh.

some random photos

2005-09-17T22:14:00.000+01:00

Right corner of my room (laptop is precious)

Sink in room is cleverly hidden in the cupboards (good way of saving space)

Tilt your heads people (half pi radian/ 90 degrees anticlockwise)! A corner of my room, really messy eh?

The College garden (forground), Music block behind

Deserved break

2005-09-17T21:02:00.000+01:00

Nearly two weeks since I arrived at Cheltenham. I really should give myself a pat on the back *patpat*, no longer feeling so dreadfully homesick. Gave up crying (due to thinking about the goodness of home) because there's no point, can't escape or anything. The first four days were pure hell, sobbing every night and feeling horrid. It's much much better now, I sleep well everynight and enjoy my meals more (gotten quite used to the icky salads and the conspicuous absence of good old steamed rice). To think of it, I've almost gotten over being homesick. Two weeks is a really short time...Geraldine (dad's friend's daughter) felt miserable for a few months! It's not that I don't miss home at all, but I don't get upset anymore just because I'm not with my family.

Anyway, went back to College today (our's is a six- day work week for students) for extras.

Had Chem Prac makeup first thing in the morning. Mrs Bates made us investigate how varying the concentration of hydrochloric acid affects the rate of reaction with magnesium ribbon. Sounds like chicken feet (memorised the experimental procedures by heart in RV and wrote them out for TYS sake tonnes of times), but carrying out the experiment was great fun. For the first time in my life (sounds really pathetic), I 'played' with a beautiful glass gas syringe. The piston is so smooth, made from grounded glass or something, whatever...Actually had fun doing it (unlike the usual agony I experience with titration and qualitative analysis, I hate anything that's for exams). Quite a useful session.

Then went over to the IT/ Art block for ICT lessons (some computer skills makeup for new intakers). The building itself is a work of art. Glass on one side of the structure. It's really beautiful. Although Mr Fater (whatever lar, not sure how to spell these English names) went through Word Processing, the session was very relevant. Highlighted stuff that I would usually have not bothered with eg. header and footer, page breaks etc. Learnt much stuff about the N, V and O drives in the College network. Good good. Precious time is not wasted after all.

Was smirking widely (because most of the com stuff was not new to me) then the weird teacher was like saying 'Good to see such happy smiling faces in here!' Good heavens! I am being misunderstood!

Had Paperclip Physics with Mr Davies and another Phy teacher (I think he assumed we all knew him so he didn't introduce himself, unfortunate for him, I don't know it). Let us watch some trailers on the process of the whole competition (by the way, Paperclip Physics is a national competition). Those groups featured in the clip were really brilliant. Ideas were so original and ingenious. Darn...how am I supposed to come up with a marvellous brainwave like theirs? Gosh...I don't even think I can get through the inter- CLC judging round, much less the regional round (Gloucestershire) and the national round. Sigh. Huda, Zakiyyah and I sat and stoned for the remaining time and came up with 'naught/ nil' ideas. Die...

Practised 'Spirited Away' on the piano for an hour. One glorious hour, just me and the piano!

Went down to town with Huda, Zakiyyah, Elin, Natsuki, Ivy and oh dear, forgot her name...Everything's disgustingly expensive. Just stared at the stuff longingly. Poor me! I feel so guilty, bought a purple knitted cardigan for a whopping £16 pounds! I am such a miser. Interesting to note that the cardigan is from the Marks and Spencer Children's section, made specifically for kiddies 9-10 years of age, approximate height 140cm. Good grief! I wear clothes from the kids section! Amazing...I'm not really all that puny you know...

Such pretty Autumn wear. Must buy somemore pretty clothes sometime soon. I promise myself.

Sigh. It's back to mugging tomorrow. I really have to start mugging. Been slacking the whole of this week and last week. Slacking when others are busy with prep (this is so bad...). I don't feel the drive/ motivation to study. Nooooo! How can I go back to the pre- O level RV days where I practically lived to study? I am in trouble.

Love,
-xinying-

Cold day

2005-09-16T22:59:00.000+01:00

Today was unusually cold (yesterday was quite warm really). The wind was huffing and puffing so strongly last night, tricked me into thinking that it was pouring. Though the sky was clear and the sun shining, the chilly wind...aaah. Finally made use of my green jumper (it's 100% merino wool and too thick to be worn on a nice summer day). If it's already this cold in late summer, I dread to think how frozen I will be in winter (the coldest months in Cheltenham are Jan and Feb). I can expect some light snow too, it's been snowing in recent years. Thankfully, not a blizzard but light snowflakes. Geez, my ideal town in Christmas with the flickering Xmas lights. Lovely! Sorry Benj, I can't help but talk about the weather, it's gorgeous, I'm enjoying every single minute of the cold here.

Overslept yesterday. Nearly overslept this morning again. Breakfast is at 730 and I have to report to school by 830. Being the faithfully 'kiasu' me, I set the alarm clock at 630 (why on earth would someone need a WHOLE hour just to get ready for breakfast? But there you go, told you I was 'kiasi'). However, it's common knowledge that on a cold day, the only place most sluggish people like me want to be is in bed. So I slammed the alarm clock off and continued with my dreamless sleep. The next time I woke up, it was already 730. Shit! Never in my life had I bathed so quickly. Tidied myself up in 5mins flat and headed off for breakfast (pretty impressive eh?). See, I'm never late...

Had my first guitar lesson with Mr Dunn today morning. Oooh, he's just as nice as Alien (aka Mr Lee at Yamaha). Showed him the Yamaha stuff I learned so that he might hopefully get a more of less accurate idea of what my guitar skills are like (very lousy really). Haha, he was SO impressed with the Yamaha textbook. Kept lavishing tonnes of praises on it. Hmmm...to think of it, that book is really organised and has a whole range of songs (duets and solos alike) for beginners (like yours truly) to learn. Anyway, received homework the very first lesson! Got 2 pieces (Greensleeves and Packington's Pound - two Medieval English songs) to figure out on my own. Yay! I love practising. Was so excited. It's quite stupid really, my lesson is only 30mins long (rather, 30mins short). That's ridiculous. Whatever can one learn in half an hour (not a lot really)?! Still had to rush off to Bio lab (was late of course). Sigh. Hopefully can change my lesson to the 45mins one next term (it's gonna cost more argh!). Music is fun!

Physics with Dr Ralph was fun again! Continued with the topic of Radioactivity. Yippee! I just love finding out stuff about particles! I swear that for the option topic, my first choice will be particle physics (second choice astro if I can't get my first). Particle Physics is like one of the most interesting things in the world. Though the concepts are horridly complex and mind- boggling, they're great fun really. Physics physics physics physics physics! I love physics! It is most unfortunate that I truly suck at Math (didn't take F Math as a result of this intense hatred and hostility towards Maths), if not being a Physicist would definitely be one of my career options. Astrophysics, particle physics and mechanics are just so fascinating! Yeah Chris, I totally agree with you, Physics is great!

Had quadruple Math after lunch. Tsk tsk...Math is bad enough, quadruple Math indeed...Continued with the Statistics pmcc nonsense. Scaling and coding. Bleah. At least Miss Jones makes Statistics slightly more bearable. Mrs Fletcher continued with her Polynomial thingy. No challenge.

After prep, was so excited that I shut myself in the Music Practice room and did my guitar 'homework' for an hour and a half! Not bad eh? Gosh, can't wait to impress Mr Dunn next week. Nearly got shut up inside the room because the housemistress didn't see me inside when it was time to lock up (1030pm, that's so incredibly early!).

Sigh. Tomorrow's another busy day. Chem prac makeup, computer lesson and Paperclip Physics. Looks like no slack time for me. Off to suscribe to Straits Times online (The Times is full of Prince Harry and Tony Blair...like what the hell...)

Love,
-xinying-

PS. So looking forward to joining the CLC Knitting Club next Thursday! Can't wait to make my own little woollen jumper!

2nd week of school

2005-09-15T22:58:00.000+01:00

It's a total lie to say I've been busy (with work) and couldn't take out any time to blog. In actual fact, I spend my free time emailing and talking to parents over the phone...aaah, THAT's what keeps me occupied.

Today's nearly the 2nd week since school started. Lots of improvements since my very first day. Well, now at least I can find my way around the building and to classes on my own(the school is huge, like some castle). The West Wing, the Princess Hall, the Music block, the Science block, common room and the Sixth form block. It's no more getting lost for me, goodie! When I was in Hwa Chong, I never really bothered to find out where the classrooms were (took me a whole 2 months to differentiate between Block F- Bio labs and Block B- the non aircon classrooms where I used to have guitar practices) because I could simply tag along to my classmates and they would lead the way. Was never really compelled to use my brain's memory and storage space. However over here, it's a different game. There's no such thing as a 'fixed CT group aka class). It's more like the American high school thing were you go off to the different classrooms for lessons. Needless to say, people take various subjects and go off in different directions to classes after prayers and there is no one for me to stick to. In dire times, one learns things the tough way.

Harsh times call for harsh means. Harriott and her wonderful way of teaching me how to get around the school. She gave a quick introduction of where everything was and before I knew it, she was going 'Now YOU show me how you're gonna get to the Bio labs'. I was so very shocked. It's a pretty effective method really. Making you wander around yourself (she was following very silently at the back, giving very disapproving noises whenever I went off in the wrong direction or took a stupid long- cut).

Monday's (12th Sept) first Chem lesson was quite interesting. In my email to Sharan (good old Hwa Chong friend), I mentioned that my new Chem teacher's young, male, tall and angmoh...sounds pretty hot right? Haha, in actual fact NO! He's horribly British, with thinning hair and a very old- fashioned moustache (urgh! who actually keeps those nowadays? gosh...) To add to my amusement, horrible dress sense that one...bright pink shirt and an even brighter pink tie. OMG...I'd have dear Ms Cheong anytime. I miss Ms Cheong (my RV so very strict Chem teacher)...Oh yea and before I forget, shall add that he looks like a pervert. *censored* Hope no one finds this!

After nearly 3 years of titration and all, I still suck at it. The chem apparatus in the lab is so lousy (laopok if you please) compared to the HC ones. Had to wear horrid green lab coat and the sleeves were so long that they fell past my fingertips. Okay, how great is that? Imagine wearing THAT and trying to light a bunsen burner. Won't be surprised if the coat catches fire (and they'll probably want me to pay for that worthless thing). Sigh. Was made to wear protective goggles. Wear goggles over my specs?! The weight was so great that I swear my nose has become flatter. I really think so...I could feel it get crushed that day. A dead weight sliding down my nose bridge.

Finally dropped Econs (goodbye to the class, I won't miss them) and had to change my Math lessons as a result. I'm no longer in the accelerated programme but it's okay, nice and slow, that should be the way. Of course, that's goodbye to Mr Westwood (the Math teacher for the accelerated programme I dropped out of, he looks like a very ugly chubby cherub) and hello Mrs Fletcher and Miss Jones. Mrs Fletcher and Miss Jones are so sweet! My new Math class has only 6 people (and that's including me by the way). Awesome! Really, lots of chances for me to act smart and volunteer answers, exactly what I did. Currently doing cubic graphs and Statistics (urgh! Calculating the p.m.c.c or rather product mean correlation coefficient). What's the point of doing that when Excel spreadsheet is available? Whatever...

Signed up for individual tennis coaching for PE. Sounds really cool. I kind of regret signing up for that because the girls that play tennis are tall, tanned, and big (big as in very muscular, the Steffi Graf type). Oh gosh, I'm like so feeble and petite (slightly on the fleshy side now, eating chocs everyday) and un- fit. Dear me, tennis is not really my game is it? Hope to sign up for multigym if I can change PE module next term. Borrowed the CLC shirt and track pants (the uniform shop hasn't got my size yet, they're left with the really huge ones) from the House store (thank you Miss Griffiths). Went all the way to Well Place's tennis courts and waited for 15mins to find that NO coach turned up. Left in disgust and was so extremely pissed off. Apparently, there wasn't supposed to be any tennis this week but the PE department didn't clarify with us. Stupid, irritating, irresponsible...tsk! Waste my time.

Phy lesson today was supercool. Learnt about radioactivity and a little about positrons (beta plus emissions) and an interesting fact about neutrons (they're made of protons and electrons 'squashed together', something along those lines...). Cool! I love Phy!

Currently reading Sophie's World. I love the feeling sitting on a bench in the large open garden/ field. It's simply marvellous having a temperature of 20degrees, a breeze in your face and the warm sunshine. With the magnificent school building and clear blue skies with rolling clouds...Under an English sky! I still don't believe I'm here...Where did the world come from? Who was Socrates? Which came first? The chicken or the 'idea' chicken (as Plato puts it). Brilliant.

Off to read up about Physics and Bio. Goodnight!

Love,
-xinying-

PS. missing all back at home family and friends

Account of the past few days in a nutshell

2005-09-13T22:44:00.000+01:00

7th Sept Wednesday - the bright beginning

Was pretty unsure about everything. When to go for breakfast, where to go, when I could have a shower and who to go with me. Terrible questions kept flooding my mind. Back at home, these things I take for granted. Here...perhaps I'm was self- conscious the first few days because new people tend not to want to do stupid things in the first week of school. Bungling up everything certainly does create a bad impression, especially if you're going to stay with them under the same roof for 2 whole years. Boy, that IS a long time...

Bread, cereal...for breakfast, wish they had pau and glutinous rice instead =(

Walked to school with...(the problem about recalling past events and trying to put them in words often leads to the omission of facts due to lost data, the brain slowly lets information trickle out...I can't remember, I shan't try, it's way too taxing). Had my very first prayer cum assembly session in the Princess Hall (PH) for short. Beautiful hall with intricate designs carved on wood and lovely stained glass. The hall's about 120 years old (according to some person) and that very ancient compared to schools in Singapore (Hwa Chong is even less than 40 years old I should think!). The thing about English girls which impresses me is that they're really silent during prayers, they don't have to be nagged at or constantly reminded to keep the noise level down. Back in Hwa Chong, PPC always has to go through the same old threats ('Keep quiet! Do you want me to haul you out to publicly shame you?') Why can't Singapore students behave without being scolded or told? What's with English education that makes girls a cooperative audience?

The Principal (Mrs Tuck) said a few words and the reverend or pastor (whatever the dude with the black billowing robe is called) led in the hymm singing and prayers. New experience for a free- thinker (me!). The same dude spoke about the terrorist bombings in London and the recent hurricane. Very thought- provoking...

No lessons in the morning but instead had tutor session with Ms Nicholson (my academic tutor). She made us fill up some self- introductory forms (the usual, what are your hobbies/ favourites/ ambition blah) and settled our extras (any music/ drama lessons we might want to take up). That session was pretty useful, at least I know the other 9 girls names. Ms Nicholson is so sweet!

Back to House for lunch. I don't understand...why can't they have a canteen somewhere in the school premises so we don't have to keep walking back and forth from House to school. Walking/ strolling in fine English weather is okay but I seriously don't fancy trudging along in the wet, cold, grey English winters. Imagine going to school drenched and shivering. Horrible!

Proper lessons began that afternoon. Had my very first Bio lesson with Miss Poole (a middle- aged, strict and rather large woman...dear me, this is sensored, hope no one reads this and spills the beans on me!). She started the AS module on cells. Difference between plant and animal cells, observation of cheek and onion cells under a microscope etc. Simple stuff that I did in Sec2. However, the Bio lab's microscopes are seriously lowtech and laopok. The highest objectives is only 40x compared to the 60x used in Hwa Chong. The scopes are really old too, they didn't feel new...Interesting, had to wear ugly green labcoats. Nearly died of a heatstroke (it was a sunny afternoon, English buildings have tiny slitty windows that totally don't let the wind in and the heat produced from the microscope was unbearable). No one else seemed to mind the extreme heat except for me. So warm!

Had my first taste of the vibrancy of English girls. They are so lively and active during lessons. Over here in the CLC, all lessons are smallgroup classroom sessions and when I say 'small', I don't mean 25 or 26 but 10 per class. The local girls love asking questions, volunteering their answers and talking randomly. They don't seem to mind whether the question in mind is stupid or 'laughable', they just 'shoot'. I was one of the most quiet but did attempt to speak up (that's a good start really). Hmm, this is certainly something good to learn from them. Contribute and take part actively in the lesson. Makes everything more interesting.

Had House meeting after dinner. Just the usual welcome to Beale stuff.

8th Sept Thursday - first full school day

Had Econs first thing in the morning. Dreadful lesson. I was the only new girl in the class. Didn't feel particularly welcomed or anything. The rest just talked and laughed among themselves. No one really seemed to take ANY notice of me. Simply dreadful. Felt so lonely and miserable. I don't mind being quiet and not talking during lessons but I can't stand being ignored and 'ostracised'. Nearly cried quite a few times but managed to act tough.

Maths was with a Mr Westwood. Shocking blue eyes, rosy chubby cheeks...in short, he looks like one great ugly cherub (gosh! this part should be sensored too). On a more serious note, we did Statistics (oh no!). Couldn't really understand his accent but oh well, will get used to it soon I hope. The Math accelerated class I am in, all 10+ girls are Asians with the exception of 1, ONE sad English girl. Dear me...this IS very telling isn't it? Ha ha...

Bio with Miss Cutler was pretty boring. Water and how the structure of a molecule contributes to its biological role in living organisms. Boring boring..yawnx. I have this feeling that Cutler doesn't like me for some reason or another. I don't know...shouldn't draw conclusions too quickly yea?

Physics with Dr Ralph was thoroughly enjoyable. Glad to see so many familiar faces in my class. SI units and measurements. Nothing new.

9th Sept Friday - miserable miserable

The morning was good. Afternoon was so very bad. Had Econs with Miss Whittock. Was ignored and very sullen in class for the whole 2 hours. Nearly cried out of sian-ness and, and...was utterly devastated and miserable after the whole thing. All in all, I hated the lesson and everything about it.

Guitar, drama, Duke of Edinborough Award, Community Links, yoga club, knitting club, bridge club and Paperclip Physics(all the stuff I have a good mind to do and participate in)...hey now isn't that a bit too much? Talked about dropping Econs with Ms Nicholson, Pa, Ma and Miss Ralph. They all seemed to think it would be a good idea. I don't want to spend so much time studying, I want to do non- academic stuff. If I had wanted to mug and mug all day long, would have stayed back in Singapore to face the pressure of studying.

10th Sept Saturday - shopping

Went to town (Mont P, Beechwood Arcade, Prom and High Street) with Elin and Helen to get stuff to decorate our plain dull little dens. Den (as Olivia puts it), such a cute word for my room. Makes me think of some place really messy but homely and the owner knows exactly where everything is in spite of the great want to order and neatness. Got wrapping paper to cover up the unsightly 'holes' on the wall. Had spicy burgerking burger...I miss chilli!

11th Sept Sunday - day out with guardians

Went out with guardians and their two daughters. Was so happy to finally see familiar faces (it's not even a week away from home!). They brought me out to eat Chinese food (at long last!), I miss the steamed fragrant rice, steamed fish, toufu hotpot and duck. It was heaven. The lunch was heavenly. Had a nice afternoon away from College. The two da jiejies were very nice. Told me to go to Oxford and look them up.

A fully fledged boarder

2005-09-13T22:32:00.000+01:00

This entry is so overdued! I should be writing about today and not last week but ahwells...

6/7 Sept (Wednesday) - A fully fledged boarder

Managed to ring Pa up at the hotel then mommy back at home. Got too carried away with talking to mom that my phone ran out of credit and the line got cut off. Gosh, spent £30 for talking for half an hour! International calls are so expensive, O2 is supposed to provide one of the cheaper services...Debit card hasn't come yet, need to trouble Pa to help me top it up tomorrow before he flies off.

The longest night ever. The comfy new duvet and a room to myself made me miss home more. My big bed (super single versus a mangy rotten little single) with the bolster and 4 pillows...

Woke up at 515am. Couldn't get back to sleep. Sitting here penning down my thoughts (when I wrote the first draft, it was in a little notebook) and attempting to enjoy the fresh morning air.

Today will be the first time I wear the uniform. Navy blue trousers, navy blue socks, black leather shoes, green striped blouse and dark green jumper. Sounds so much better compared to the assortment of weird clothing that Roald Dahl had to wear in his time (Repton School if I'm not mistaken, from Boy).

I miss Pa and Ma. Just wondering how long this terrible feeling fo homesickness will last...I want to go home...

Love,
-xinying-

Alone at last (sense the reluctance?)

2005-09-10T20:00:00.000+01:00

6 Sept Tuesday

Dad and I carried the remaining two pieces of luggage to the House. Dad helped out with the unpacking and setting up of electrical appliances ie. my trusty fan to keep the summer heat at bay. Met THE Miss Ralph after long last. Nice enough, sporty woman. She's friendly and patied with washing machine dummies like me.

Met academic tutor too Ms Nicholson. Confirmed the few subjects that I would be taking. Could tell that she thought me prefectly mental when she heard I intended to do Chem, Bio, Phy, Math and Econs. Kept reassuring me that I would be more than welcomed to drop subjects if I proved unable to cope after monitoring. I think the Math HOD is nuts, kept asking if I wanted to take F Math- OBVIOUSLY NOT! (I detest Math!!) Anyway, he was mad enough to put me in some Math accelerated class (told you, he's batty), I feel so horrible, I'm so stupid yet I'm in Math accelerated class...comparing myself with the HC PRCs in S31, they're so brilliant...

Lunch was perfectly beastly and disgusting. Weird tasting (uncooked perhaps..) eggplants with loads of RAW greens and a rare few pieces of meat. Argh! Felt very, very put off. THen again, what coice do I have but to eat. Actually this meal is by CLC (my school's short form name) standards, considered to be very good ('they only do it so well the first few days to impress the freshies, it just gets worse later'- according to a SFC2).

Talking about SFC2, here, College is divided into LC (lower college), UC (upper college) and SFC (sixth form). I'm in SFC1J. The SFCs get lots of privileges; we get to wear different uniforms from the little kiddies. We have more exeats, we can go to town more often and return much later, so on and so forth. Basically, all the LC and UC girls look forwards to entering Sixth Form College.

Trudged back to College in the afternoon to be in time for 2nd registration at 2.30pm (morning registration's at 8.20am). Finally got to meet my tutor group (class formed for the convenience of taking attendance, students need not have same subject combination). They are okay. Unlike Singapore JCs which only offer a limited and very inflexible subject combinations, over here, people take anything they want. Government and politics, history, maths and biology- totally unheard of in Singapore.

Papa came to see me again that afternoon. Was really so happy to see him. First time away from home, felt desperately homesick. Cried loads of times in private, sorry lar, but yours truly is the World's Biggest Wimp. I hate being lonely. I hate being a new girl (especially when everyone knows everyone else). It sucks! Very envious of the SFC2s, they're so cool with an attitude of indifference, argh! I'll be like that next year (I hope, not nervous and scared at all), but next Autumn Term is eons away. I must just settle with looking 'tut' amd sounding 'off' (will take quite a while to pick up the British accent, feel like a PRC in Singapore...not an insult okay) for the time being.

Reminded of the horrors of lunch, didn't exactly look forwards to supper. At this rate, I'll become anorexic.

Love,
-xinying-

2nd day in Cheltenham

2005-09-10T19:10:00.000+01:00

5th Sept Monday - 2nd day in Cheltenham

Monty's Brasserie (nothing to do with lingerie, it's the hotel's breakfast area) serves enormous breakfast portions (according to yours truly). The kindly of waiter was amazed by how little (according to local standards) I ate. I'd choose a single slice of break ever full English breakfast anytime. A full English breakfast (bacon, egss, kippers, mushrooms, sausages, black pudding, toast, cereal blah) will just give me a severely distended stomach. How could anyone eat that much?!

Went to Lloyd's TST (a bank) straightaway. Staff extremely rigid and well, British. Claimed we hadn't got the proper documents and all to set up an account for safety reasons (due to the recent terrorist bombings in London, by the way, do I look like a terrorist!) Walked all the way back to hotel room to retrieve everything that might be needed. Tried HSBC instead. A more sensible bank, HSBC! Had everything sorted out within the next 1 hour. Okay, this sounds real cool but I have a chequebook and card. Trust me, the prospect of 'so much' money (relatively speaking compared to last time) and freedom, very scary...

Dropped by de Baer's (the official school uniform shop) to pick up the remaining non- imitation/ non- imposter/ genuine school stuff (so expensive)...Apparently because I didn't make an appointment, I would have to wait real long. Actually it was pretty fast, settled everything in a jiffy. REAL boarding school uniforms...wow! Read all about boarding schools in Harry Potter, Enid Blyton's Naughtiest Girl and Roald Dahl's Boy etc. Haha, so here's my chance to live the boarding school life, ahwells. Jumper, trousers, blouses...they all happen to be either really dark green or blue...what's up with the English and these two shades?

Dragged two huge suitcases of stuff (Dad helped loads) to Beale House. Managed to find the place this time with the help of a trusty map some lady procured for us. 6 mins run from House to school, 8 mins brisk walk and make it 10 if I'm a sloth. Walking! I hate walking. Braved the slope, dog droppings and cars, success #1 transferred belongings to House. Was given a brief tour round the House, I'll probably need a term before I've memorised where everywhere is. Room's really minute though, just about enough space to turn round couple of times. Kinda messy with all the suitcases lying around, have to get 'em sorted out tomorrow.

My room door

My room's view (pretty impressive eh? just a plain brick wall and a slope...manz)

The school crest

Travelling Day

2005-09-09T12:47:00.000+01:00

Didn't have com access for nearly a week...gosh! I'm suffering from terrible withdrawal symptoms ie. the undescribable urge to pen down/ transfer all my thoughts from my overly cramped brain. Laptop took really long to arrive, came two days ago but wouldn't cooperate with me, somehow I managed to get myself locked out of my account more than once. Anyway, I'm no longer in Singapore. I've been here in the UK for almost a week. Well, a boarding school experience is really something foreign to most Singaporeans. It's not everyday that another girl embarks to such an adventure, so I might as well blog about it (just like Roald Dahl's 'Boy', mine will never be as famous or as widely- read though).

Well then, I'll start at the very beginning...

3rd/ 4th Sept - my Travelling Day

Was really very upset when I saw mom in hospital for the 'last time', I'm not about to die and she isn't either. She cried and so did I - I cried a great deal more and definitely much harder at that. Expected it really, I mean, what else would the world's largest crybaby do other than cry buckets and buckets of tears. Sigh. Whenever she and Dad go on about living up to their expectations and being a good girl over there, it just makes me worse. Though I usually act tough and all, I'm really gonna miss mom a lot. Very unfortunate she couldn't come with me.

Gave Gran a call. Stupid phone line wasn't too clear. Fearful...anyway, hope to see her around when I go back in December.

The airport was so close yet so far. You probably understand what I mean by 'so close yet so far'. Part of me is filled with explained excitement while the other part is just shivering with pure terror at the thought of leaving home. Mortally terrified. After all, this is my first time away. Those titchy little camps in primary and secondary school amount to absolutely nothing when compared to this.

Dad helped me check in everything. The next time I'll be doing this, I'm totally on my own. Good news, Frankie will get to sit with me on the plane.

Saw dear 4C- ians and guitar friends at the airport. Looking back, it seems like yesterday (cliche) when 3/4C came out tops in the Russian folk dance competition. 'Twas only yesterday (cliche again) when I ran for guitar exco nominations. And not too many days ago when I went for the 7D outing to Sentosa. Too fast. Time flies too fast. Those dears gave me lovely stuff to take along to England=) Lots of hugs and goodbyes.

Mel's good advice- told me not to look back. To hold my tears and look forwards to a new life. Well, I did just that. Sad...I didn't really miss home then. But now I do...

Airplane journey went fine. Slept and ate as much as possible. Urgh! Salad, fruits and other health stuff for all the 3 plane meals, gross! Felt so totally miserable swallowing it. I shall endeavour to consume as much healthy food to prevent incurring addititonal expenses upon falling sick in some foreign land. Feel a lot healthier already, ate everything except for THE TOMATOES. Tomatoes are indeed unbearable, read and squishy, squelching as the knife plunges into it. I'd better make an effort to get along with t o m a t o e s (see how much pain I
undergo just to pronounce/ spell the word). The angmohs seem to see them as a daily necessity. Journey very smooth.

At Heathrow Customs, Dad and I presented passports to the woman sitting behind the counter. The crazy woman said 'Husband and wife?' I nearly died. Like do I look so old?! Gosh! My dad's near the qualifying age for Eldershield and she thought I...argh! She's nuts...

Dad and I had to lug all the stuff from Heathrow to the Central Bus Station. Pity mom couldn't come, life would have been a lot easier. 2 hours from London to Cheltenham via the National Express. The English countryside is certainly beautiful.

Met a Fiona from HK. Her specs are so hip!

Bye!

2005-09-02T15:51:00.000+01:00

Oh dear. Today's my last full day in Singapore before I'm flung out into the wide world. 'Flung', a rather harsh word to describe things but this is life after all. Out there, nobody's gonna be nice and ever- obliging (just like my parents). The world's full of nice and not so nice people, just my luck then if I happen to know anyone sucky.

Rotted in hospital with Mom for the whole morning. Slept intermittently, the nurses were noisy (noisy nurses? oh dear me...) and they kept coming in to check the blood pressure blah and vacumn the place. Hospital equiment is rather interesting, the way they work and what they measure. Had a hell of a time trying to figure out all of them. The coolest, a light sensor to measure oxygen concentration! And I always thought they had to prick the finger to get some blood...Mm, mom was too sleepy to notice her dear daughter getting carried away with observing the glucose drip.

Went back to school for the last time this term. Pretty sad thought huh? The 171 bus ride seemed to take forever, almost like I'd never reach school in time to meet Mel and gang. My EZ- linky's money is running into the negatives soon, shan't bother about that. Won't be using that anytime soon. The weather just made me more morose. Gloomy and drizzly, totally what I didn't want. Heaven's tears, cliched expression, but really does make one very depressed. It's really a reflection of what I felt. Wanted it to be a nice sunny day with a breeze but nah, heaven just had to make me feel down.

Met Sharan. Man, she made me wait just to pass me some crappy unimportant piece of paper, some website for a personality test or something. Gosh! Tricked me! *hurt*

Mm. Met Mel and guitar exco at Zen garden (it only has stones...why call it garden?). They played Auld Lang Syne and the school song (I love it man! Sounds so beautifully communist!). Very touched. Sigh. All the stuff they did for me and everything. Knowing I love to make Frankie 'lang du' new songs, got me loads of scores =) Will miss them so bad...All the evil exco plans and crappy meetings. No more!! =( Anyway, just hope the competent new MI *ahem ahem* will enjoy being in the exco as much as me and make guitar a more fun CCA.

Watched the evil videos 'mei' took in secret. So evil! Amusing enough.

Then went for lunch/dinner with Mel, Cheryl, Wenrou and Zechy at Grand (Black) Canyon. Had the lovely mudpie and eskimo brownie (heaven!) from Island Cremery (not advertising for them).

Love,
-xinying-

PS. I'm leaving on a jet plane
don't know when I'll be back again
- John Denver

the good the bad and the evil

2005-08-31T16:15:00.000+01:00

It's Teachers' Day today! Went back to HC for the 2nd last time this term to for guitar performance. As I've said before, being back in HC really feels so good. The class benches, the central plaza and the beautiful audi (I sound pro- school, haha). The really enthusiastic people were groovin' away to the ACES day dance, thank god I didn't have to join 'em.

Mm, got the pretty guitar tee! But was forced to wear some super retarded and 'orhbiang'- looking bright big yellow sunflower hairband. Oh man, I look like a freak! The Terrorist actually looks quite alright wearing that little hairband, even more 'chio' than me *jealous* Lazying around the audi basement feels so nice, especially on a nice morning. To think of it, RV's audi was small, dark and crummy and had no basement. Everyone was just squashed backstage like...like oncogenes (the crazy mad sort who keep piling up on top of each other)! Performance was okay. And thanks to the 7d-ians who 'jiayou- ed' me. Very lovely. After all the CO public performances in RV and Soiree, I realised that having a condenser mike in front doesn't really bother me anymore. Put it this way, I've become rather immune to it (the fear of making a mistake and being heard). Ahwells, it's after all just another performance, what's there to be afraid of?

Caught Ms Gan in the Staff Room. She was so sweet. Sigh. I'm gonna miss HC even more.

Went ice- skating with Mel, Chris, Cheryl and Ho Wen Rou Wei. All of them are so pro! So super sweet of them especially Mel and Chris who spent nearly the whole 4 hours teaching me how to balance, slide and push on the terribly smooth ice (ain't ice always smooth?). Well, I hope I didn't disappoint Mel shifu, I really did try my best, really! At least I've improved from clinging to the railings to tottering about on my own. Fell down loads, on my bum and hands and knees. Gosh! Must've looked like some idiot who can't control her pee. Dear me...And the 4 of them, sabo me! Fake my birthday then had some Happy Birthday song broadcast. Haha, I'm amused! But very nice really. Yipee! I shall have to practise loads before I'm as good as Mel or those little speedy kiddies who keep whizzing by. They're all so good. It ain't fair, not allowed to use those sliding metal things which are specially reserved for shorties not taller than 1.2m.

Very fun slacking with 'em.

Bad bad. Mom is not well. Boos! Sigh.

Love,
-xinying-

Me vs IT - 0 to 1

2005-08-30T13:57:00.001+01:00

My dear com's gone all wonky again. My beautiful Minas Morgul wallpaper has been replaced by hideous rolling hills and meadows. Most distressing. Then it keeps faking that Norton anti- virus programme is not activated when in truth it is anything but disabled. Then some stupid firewall wizard keeps popping up at regular fifteen second intervals asking me whether I want to activate the firewall. After clicking 'okay', the wizard just disappears and nothing happens. Precisely another fifteen seconds later and lo, the wizard makes it unwelcome presence known by disrupting and most of the time, hanging the whole com. Now my parents Outlook Express is not working and poor me, yes poor me called Singnet, HP and Microsoft helpdesk four times in three days. The com technicians keep guiding me through the same few steps (I can memorise nearly all the commands and server names by now) but the same old problem still exists. Outlook Express keeps claiming it's not connected to the Internet but that's downright bullshit because I can still access the Internet as normal.

I am heartily sick of technology!

What's the point in having a computer to help when it breaks down ever so often? Two years is the average lifespan of a computer in my house...even shorter than that of a hamster. I might as well start rearing mayflies (those little pesky insects that die twenty- four hours after hatching). Maybe mealworms...at least they can be used as fish feed. IT companies come up with loads of supposedly advanced and effective anti- virus, firewall and what not protection programmes, sad to say, they're even less effective than my Hep B vaccination I took almost seventeen years ago. At least it has kept me Hep B- free...

The com technician reckons the Norton anti- virus programme is the one engaging in criminal activities; corrupting my gullible com. Okay. This defeats the whole purpose of getting an anti- virus programme doesn't it. An anti- virus programme causing a virus. Haha. Some joke. I've this burning desire to chuck the com away and retreat to the mountains. More often than not, technology is a hindrance rather than being much of a help. Though is does provide certain delights, say the pleasure of blogging and instant messaging friends online, it all comes at a very great price. I nearly came down with hypertension and severe heart failure after talking to the HP com technician for a precious hour this afternoon and having to restart the com five, yes FIVE times not to mention the numerous times it 'hanged'. There goes one possible career - I'm NOT gonna take up a profession that has anything to do with computing, com engineering or IT in my next few lives. And I mean it. I hate computers (all this said in spite and vengeance)!

Imagine this...If I were a politician, I would pass an anti- IT law. Then I'll cheerfully wave adieu to my job and all my supporters (provided I manage to hoodwink some in the first place).

Society (including yours truly) has become increasingly reliant on IT. Discuss.
A GP question highly possible of coming up for A levels (excluding the 'yours truly' part in parentheses) only if I were capable of possessing one of them ruddy Cambridge blokes (a Hagrid imitation). On a more serious note, I can only sigh and exclaim 'how true'! Yours truly, an average Singaporean kid goes online almost every night and for a straight two hours or more per go. Going online is my life. It's my means of connecting with the world (my busy traffic of mail). It's where the friends are.

I've lost all my friends tonight. I can't access MSN messenger...

Today's young are indeed overly- reliant on IT.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. hope to be able to perform at HC for the last time tomorrow provided I live past tonight (may the massive heart attack as described above not work up). I should get a Horcrux, maybe possess a cat (Lord Voldemort can possess snakes) so I'll still have eight more cursed lives left...

Bad day bad day

2005-08-28T14:14:00.000+01:00

Today's a horrid day. I'm not being touchy or anything, today really sucks.

Collected my imitation navy uniforms from the tailor and guess what, they're TOO TIGHT! Well, not that I can't fit into it but it's very fitting, sort of hugging in fact and needless to say they look elegant on me (bear with my overlarge ego). But the price to pay for the elegance is a compromise on comfort. Well, have to send them back for some loosening. Comfortable uniforms are very important especially if I want to shake my legs or sit in a particularly 'ah beng' style during boring lesson time. Trouble trouble...

Then my grandma got warded into hospital. I am scared, so scared for her. She isn't exactly young anymore. I daren't think of what might happen if things take a turn for the worse. Sigh. Sigh. 生老病...not yet! I'm sure she'll make it, she'll celebrate her 87th birthday (though I won't be there).

My poor doggy dear. He isn't as active as he used to be. Isn't wagging his tail, isn't romping about and isn't rummaging through the neighbours dustbins. Worse of all, he takes his medicine willingly, he doesn't do that normally...normally he pretends to eat his medicine, then once our backs are turned, he spits them out. This time, he ATE it all without cheating! Don't know whether to feel relieved or upset.

Met Meihui, Yingqing, Weijie and Christine to go KBox today. Actually wanted to have a nice long goodbye chat with my dear 'amah' but things didn't quite turn out as I hoped. There, blew my last chance for talking to 'amah' face to face. Honestly didn't enjoy the KBox session reason being, almost lost my voice two nights ago due to prolonged and overly- excited talking over the phone. My voiced sucked. Went out of tune so many donkey times. Bleahx. Furthermore, I don't listen to Chinese songs and bascially my dear pipa seniors are very well versed in singing Chinese songs. So I kept rather silent throughout and tried my best to refuse the mike. I swear I shall never go to KBox again in my whole bloody life. Failed outing. Sigh. Well, at least I know how this KBox business operates...

Love,
-xinying-

PS. met Cat and GY at JE (dear old JE), very unexpected pleasant surprise =)

Untitled

2005-08-27T15:32:00.000+01:00

Mm. Teachers' Day rehearsals went fine enough, the other groups were so pro and really went all the way out to appear retro. The only 'un- fine' part was having the stupid condenser mike in front of Chris and me, amplifies all the mistakes...Somehow, I can never seem to escape these microphones whichever musical CCA I join, suppose it's just my luck =S Boo!

And of course, thanks Chris dear for the lovely practical present. I love practical presents, it better being able to use them instead of just leaving them (some ornamental thing) standing on the shelf to collect dust. It's beautiful =) So thoughtful of you.

Went to the left wing with Chris and the Terrorist to learn Collide and Qing Tian from the *ahem* so pro you- know- who. Yay. Then went for dinner at the usual Black Canyon with Mel and Chris. Feels so sad. Our first ever 'triplet' jie mei hot date was at that place. Oooh, and some horrible babies at the table next to ours, I smiled (sweetly enough or so I think) at them and they just looked away (in fear maybe). Terrible! What so wrong with my face? Who cares what babies think *spiteful* Haha.

Today was a bad day. Com nearly crashed. Since my com enjoys these 'near- death' experiences, I might as well do some 'mercy killing' now, get rid of it before it wrecks more havoc. Lost tons of important documents. Stupid com.

Love,
-xinying-

Untitled

2005-08-26T05:01:00.000+01:00

Call it 'the parting of ways'? Things can never be 'forever'. There's no such thing as 'forever' or 'everlasting'. If things don't end in one's lifetime, they're bound to do so at death. The curtain falls and like it or not, one has to leave that night's beautiful aria/ tragedy/ bland badly acted -out play behind, grudgingly or maybe in relief. Perhaps the same holds true for life...it all ends at death. Dear dear, this is a very bad- sounding start to this entry. Could be because I've been reading a few rather grim Soviet short stories recently, the sort where the central figure dies or experiences some relavation right at the end...Pretty bleak eh?

It feels rather weird, my very good and long- time friend's also leaving Singapore to study overseas. Just received a short message from her this morning. All along, I've only been thinking about what my 'new' life's going to be like, of course, I'm the 'leaver' (the one who leaves). I reckon this friend's going to fly off before I do and that makes me the 'leav-ee' (put it this way; the opposite of leaver ie. the one who attempts no major geographical displacements, whose feet are firmly planted on the 'motherland'). It feels funny, having to 'lose' a friend. Nooo...my good friend for 7 long years (nearly half my life), probably the only one who was with me throughout while we sat for our PSLE and O Levels together. Sigh. Face it, nothing is forever.

Damn! Not another bout of depression. I hate feeling depressed. All dark and gloomy inside. Doesn't help that I'm re- reading Harry Potter and the OotP again (approaching the part where Sirius dies), one of the most upsetting portions of the story. Cheerful. Just finished 'Snape's Worst Memory', that's a very painful part to read.

I shall give it a go at trying to sound happier. By right I should be cheery 'cos I'm healthy and all, albeit the undesirable tendency to overeat at times. Did I use 'albeit' correctly? Newly learnt words must be practised or it's just as good as not learning them at all in the first place. On a merrier note, I've LOST WEIGHT again! My mistake, I've LOST MASS again (assumption: the mass of the clothes I wore on both occasions can be considered to be negligible or are of equal mass)! Though it's a measly 800grams, it's better than nothing. Very difficult to lose fats these days with all the tempting chocs lying around the house. I should regulate my chocolate consumption of 1 2cm by 2cm square piece to a piece every 2 days.

Finally, I'm almost done with all the shopping. Can get started on packing anytime later this week. Must remember to pack Frankie and Frankie Jr (tuner) along too.

Guitar auditions later. So tiresome. Why do they have to keep eliminating performing groups? It's so bothersome having the so- called relevant authorities lording and presiding over everything. Rules?!

Hope my spirits lift after guitar =)

Love,
-xinying-

I hate shopping

2005-08-22T14:57:00.000+01:00

It's ridiculous how much school uniforms cost, not Hwa Chong uniforms (they're very reasonably priced) but the CLC uniforms. To think about it, most boarding school uniforms cost a bomb, and it doesn't help given the fact that the exchange rate is approximately 1 dollar to 3 pounds. I vaguely remember one of my dad's friend spend nearly 500 pounds on his daughter's uniform, which translates to almost 1500 dollars. Which idiot spends that much on clothes (oh oh, I don't mean to say daddy's friend is an idiot...)?! Absurd. I hate thinking about money. I makes me cringe to think how something developed to facilitate trade, transaction and the increased efficiency of human civilisation can be the root of all evil. The sole root of all evil? Nopes, that's what I'll say. There are many other things that can lead men astray.

Anyway, talking about uniforms, went scouting around Singapore for some imitation ones (those good enough to pass off as the real expensive thing). Went a- walkin' the whole afternoon only to come back home empty handed. My feet, my poor poor feet. My poor aching brain. I hate shopping.

Just came back from Mustafa's Centre. I'm very impressed with that shopping mall. Not only does it open 24 hours, it stocks just about everything from cheddar cheese to sports wear to gold jewelry all under the same roof! Originally, intended to get a decent, strong and light- weight suitcase good enough to last me many years. They have a horribly large variety of suitcases on display. Too many. So much so as to put my poor parents in a fix which one to get for me, normally my daddy's very decisive and makes up his mind on the spot...Though there were many suitcases on display, unfortunately there weren't any purple ones...According to my mom, I should get a colour as awful as possible for easy identification at the airport. Purple's eye- catching enough, not purple but HOT purple. Perhaps 'eye- catching' is too mild a word, hmm, 'disgusting' to some, maybe...Looks like yours truly has to make another trip there again and settle on something the next time round.

Then again, shopping's a very time- consuming and tiring activity. Could've finished reading Harry Potter and the GOF in that time. *tut tut*

Ahh, guitar got through the terrible Teachers' Day auditions. We did it! But a lot of restrictions and 'sensorship' (no lah) cuts imposed. Rubbish. Those people don't know how to appreciate more quiet (tend towards classical) genres of music. Youngsters nowadays! All they're familiar with is just noisy heavy mental and rock. Tsk tsk. *disapproving, steely McGonagall- like glare* People think it strange why I'm still so committed, say excited, about HC guitar. I don't know. Perhaps it's because I've got good friends in there? Perhaps it's because I'm com member? I suppose I'm just enthu everything Hwa Chong.

Mom keeps reminding me to treasure my remaining time with my grandmother (not that I'm unfilial or anything), maybe I appear expressionless, emotionless and rather cold at times. She's right. More often than not the future's unpredictable. One moment my granny's healthy and all, another instant, she could be gone. I dread to lose her while I'm so far from home and to come back and find her gone. Urgh! Darn! I always appear arrogant and sulky. Should buy a top grade mirror and work on my facial expressions. I should practise smiling sweetly...Why do I always give people the wrong impression of me? Why oh why? Sigh.

Tomorrow's another long day. I don't want to be left at home alone with my mom! I'll be bored to tears. She'll just make me learn cooking and force me to read chinese books (content mainly about human morals)...nooo!

Love,
-xinying-

Super Shopper!

2005-08-21T15:04:00.000+01:00

Super shopper = xinying...gosh! This is outrageous! Went out the whole day and now, I just want to drop dead on my bed. Shopping is so tiring.

Finally got my goosedown duvet, pillow and mattress protector, sports shoes, scrunchies, bag and ugly black shoes. Black leather shoes for school. Unheard of in Singapore. Nooo! Why can't they just leave us be with comfy, wide Nike sneakers? Normally black leather shoes are honestly rather dreadful looking. The more (slightly) classy they look, the steeper the price and they squash the hell out of my toes, boo. Had to settle for an 'amah- looking' ugly but VERY comfortable pair. Looks like can't get the best of all worlds huh. I hate compromises, especially compromises between comfort and style. It just breaks my heart to have to give up a really gorgeous- looking thing just because...ah well. Hopefully it'll last me 2 years of loads of walking (and running to school if I ever run late). Mm, I suppose I'll just have to get a longer pair of trousers so that the trouser legs will fall past my ankle and shoes and hide 'em real well. Then no one will snicker at the shoe! Brilliant eh? Lame.

This sucks. All this shopping sucks. I think boarding schools are very miserly. They make you buy everything and hardly provide anything. They should lower the school fees. At this rate, nay, I already feel like I'm setting up a new home. Stuff so expensive. Rubbish.

Bleah. I don't mind/ annoyed at/ dislike/ detest/ hate cooking. So un- girl right? So painful, mom made me assist her cook lunch this afternoon, awfully tiresome. This is really bad attitude, resist learning very important life skills but I've always been like this, so there! What delight do people derive from whipping up a meal (apart from eating it if it's delicious)? How can some people even cook to relax?! That's unthinkable (in my world at least)! It's not that I'm scared of lighting the stove or chopping veggies, but just this unexplained feeling ranging from mild irritation to strong objection to the notion of Me in the kitchen. Quite naturally, my parents don't understand my aversion to cooking. Neither do I. Then again, in the near future, I won't have a choice. I suppose I've gotta cook and clean when I'm on my own in another 2 years time (Us...argh). No! I can't be a housewife! Gotta overcome this dislike, it's only good for my future. Ah wells...Survival of the fittest (nay, survival of the most capable), the world's an increasingly harsh place.

How should I spend the whole of tomorrow? Tomorrow will be another long day. Sigh. Maybe I should start packing, but isn't it a bit too early? I want to go back to school! I want to go for lectures! I want Hwa Chong!

Love,
-xinying-

Busy, busy...

2005-08-19T15:30:00.000+01:00

It rained almost the whole of yesterday but not a single dark cloud in the sky today. Can't the weather show more 'balance', wouldn't it be better if it had rained half of yesterday and a little today? Today's so stinking warm and the heat gave me a pounding headache. I'm so prone to headaches. Thank god, only relatively minor headaches not migranes!

Terrible morning. Called up the HSBC International Banking Centre only to find that I'm underaged and not qualified for some bank account thing. The helpline woman just kept asking all the weird questions and never once did give a relevant answer. Terrible. These financial things, can never understand them. Banks and money..tsk tsk. Had to pass the phone to my mom, grown- ups seem to have this affinity when it comes to discussing money matters. I'll soon possess one too. It's just a matter of time. When you're out in the wide world alone, these skills will come quite naturally I suppose.

Then accompanied mom to HSBC to try and open some stupid account. Effort wasted. So many rules. Blah. Grown- ups do make a terrible fuss out of these things. Whatever~ There! Whole morning gone just like that.

Went back to school this afternoon. I can't believe it, how happy I was to sit at the 7D classbench again and just stone and stare at the plants. Such familiar and wonderful surroundings. I miss HC just after 2 days of zero- school! Isn't it a bit quick? Being in school again feels so good. It's becoming an addiction, can't wait to go back again next Wednesday. How strange. To think I was anti- school most of my life.

What a change, you're really not a bit...

Mm. I want to say thank you to Mel 小妹 aka chambermaid/ lady- in- waiting. I really love your powerpoint presentation. That was really so sweet of you to put in effort to give me that lovely present, or rather the first of a string of presents. Always wondered what you were up to taking all those evil photos, hmm...I finally understand. It's my kind of dream gift, something priceless and very dear. I don't know how to express my thanks or what to give you... =(

Hope guitar gets through the auditions. The Council had better give us the chance to perform, after a whole two months of hard work and all. They HAD BETTER...OR ELSE...We did work hard and all, wait for Monday...HC Guitar Ensemble rocks! Stayed back with Mel, Chris, and the Boyband (Geoffrey, Benjamin, Yangxiang and Kel??) to lag at the class benches and play guitar. The Boyband has so pro guitar skills, I feel lousy...Aye, they rule when it comes to strumming pop songs chords. I feel horrid. What a act pro not pro MI I am. Lols (bitter laughter), I will practise more. 晴天 and Collide~ Wheeee!

Met Dr Loh, Mrs Loh and Yvonne for dinner at Carlton. They're really nice and generous with their information. So sweet. Found out a lot more stuff about the CLC, extremely useful. The food was alright. They served some nice onion- y stuff in a monstrous snail shell. Erm. Scare me, I thought it was escargot, thank heavens it was NOT. Interesting presentation. Could have done without the hideous snail shell, haha. They served bloody SHARK'S FIN! Manz, I feel like a sinner. How could I have eaten that crap? It's evil to eat shark's fin. When one eats shark's fin, one then subconsciously/ consciously creates a demand for that product. Due to the profit incentive, suppliers are driven to supply more of the good, shark's fin in this case (think economics). Then more sharks would be killed, fins cut and the heavily bleeding body thrown back in the sea and the shark perishes in misery. Poor thing, unable to swim, balance lala. So cruel. Despicable. I don't like myself. Ban the consumption of shark's fin!

Love,
-xinying-

PS. In love with Farucca. Flamenco music is Wheeee!
Neohaus chocolates rock, esp. the ones with champagne and truffle.

lonely, I am so lonely...

2005-08-18T15:05:00.000+01:00

Today's the first no- school day. Feels so strange, waking up at ten and wandering around home aimlessly like some mental patient who's just had a lobotomy. Blank. Soul- less. It rained almost the whole of today. I always maintain that it's great lazing around doing absolutely nothing on a nice rainy morning. I take that back. Today's actually the first time in my whole life that I wish I'd gone to school. I don't want to rot alone at home...It's so lonely rotting at home by myself. My grandma and maid hiding away somewhere around the house, busy with their stuff. And my mom's not too keen on entertaining me either. All she wants to do is to watch her gruesome eye surgery videos, read the chinese newspapers and sleep. Darn.

Lonely, I am so lonely, I've got nobody...

Played my Frankie guitar the whole morning. Then played my 老公 dearest 琵琶 for two hours in the afternoon. Then went for guitar lessons. Now my fingertips are so red and sore. Don't ever do this at home! It's just self inflicted torture. Playing the guitar and the 琵琶 just feels so different. Honestly, I'm more happy cheena- fiying myself with my 老公. Maybe it's because of the longer relationship I have with it (sounds so suggestive...), this is our 5th year together after all =) I miss RVCO.

Tomorrow. What should I do tomorrow? I hate being SO free.

Love,
-xinying-

To 7d with love

2005-08-17T13:30:00.000+01:00

Mm..today's my last day as an official Hwa Chong- ian. It feels really queer, 'graduating' without taking any examinations and leaving right smack in the middle of the term. It's a little bit funny, that feeling inside...Today's also probably the last day I sing the HC school song and the National Anthem. The National Anthem, been singing that since I was 6 years old (can't remember whether I sang it in nursery or not, it doesn't affect this entry too much so shan't bother about the fact). Initially, I wanted to sing it loud and clear but the tears (well, I'm a softie, I admit, I almost cried) kind of stopped me from singing anything.

PHT kind of walked me to the general office. Great CT. Went to see Mrs Chin after that. She almost made me cry again, sigh. Her words were no doubt reassuring, kind and encouraging - that's why I was near to tears. Mm, she's really nice or at least she gives me that impression. She's a dear. 'Ponned' the Math lect test. Geez, no one will hold it against me. Here I shall say, thanks Peishan for that little cupcake, it was really so sweet of you (although you won't get to see this entry, just know that your action is appreciated). Tried to act tough and not look sad.

Then 7d had to make me cry again. Not that I bear any resentment or what, just that I was really touched by the great pains they took to seeing that I had a great farewell. My farewell. Sounds so odd. Haha, somehow they know I love dark chocolate and get real high after administering a dose of chocolate, so they got me a chocolate cake =) *greedy grins* and lovely chocolates as well *beams* It's not the chocolatey sweetness that matters but the thought and the effort that comes along with it. The class photos and the Aileen- made card were the best parting gifts I think. At least I'll have everyone's faces etched in my memory. I'll bring that along to the CLC and pin it up in my room!

Goodbye to the Chinese High swimming pool. Bye to the beautiful Block A, B, E and F classroom and labs. Lastly, goodbye to the canteen, though I will be going back, but I don't think I will be eating the HC canteen food anymore (good and bad).

Took the Bio SPA but 'just for fun' and to 'play with the apparatus' as Charlene puts it. Mrs Tan ask me whether I wanted to be assessed or not. Nay. If it'd been real, I'm so screwed. Forgot to take my curve rule out. Recorded weird readings. Whatever. No more SPAs for me.

The stem cell Harvey Lodish (from MIT) talk was uber interesting. That guy's really smart. Darn! Should have taken notes. Now I'm all confused with the hemapoietic stem cells, mesenchymal stem cells blah blah. Darn! Wasted! Guess I'll have to buy his book after all. Nah...Very informative.

Oh yes, and very nice of Miao Zheng to give that card=) Wahh...I'm sacked! Now he's gotta employ a new MI...

Love,
-xinying-

PS. Oh no! I'm so gonna miss Hwa Chong...how? The last time I don the biege uniform. NOO! I don't want to write anymore...this is making me so sad...

Yesterday went to Ngee Ann Poly to conduct the PW interview with a super sweet Ms Sim. Aileen, Cheegake and I were in the rather small Ladies' when a poly girl opened the door. Seeing us, she told her friend LOUDLY 'the toilet is filled with KIDS'. Slam. Fine. Kids indeed, she's got to be kidding. I could very well be her age. Still, I don't think she saw me, I look way too matured.

Just a random thought

2005-08-14T07:25:00.000+01:00

Watching Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone now. Somehow watching the show this time round feels slightly different. There's this subconscious comparison between Hogwarts and the school which I'll be going to. Yes, both are boarding schools. Like Harry, I'll be meeting new people, hope there won't be too many Malfoys though. More Ron- s and Hermione- s please. What if everyone in my tutor group behaves like Malfoy and all the teachers act like Snape? Then I'm a goner. And I seriously hope I don't end up like Neville on his broomstick when it comes to PE, I'm so bad at sports, just the same as Neville when Quidditch's the activity in question. Just hope I won't be ostracised for being such a klutz. I don't know whether to look forwards to going or to feel scared. I've always wanted to have an overseas education since I was in primary school. Now, you can say that my wish is finally coming true.

I've always longed for adventure
To do the things
I've never dared
And now I'm facing adventure
Then why am I so scared?
- The Sound of Music (as sung by Julie Andrews)

The Forbidden Forest is out of bounds to all Hogwarts students and so is the 3rd floor (unless you want to be mauled by Fluffy). Hogsmeade is only open to all 3rd years students and older with the exception of those without parental/ guardian permission etc. So many rules. My future school isn't any better. Tons of rules. Students 17 years and older may not learn to drive without written adult consent. Girls must remember to register before leaving for town or going on exeats. Girls can only wear black or green hair bands/ slides blah blah. I think I'll only finish memorising all the rules after I graduate from there, that is, provided I don't fail my AS and do well enough to be promoted to SFC2. Urgh!

Darn! I'd better stop thinking about all these horrible things. Stay cool and clear- headed. Don't mix with the wrong sort (the Slytherins from Ron's point of view). Study very hard, do very well for all the tests and exams (take education as seriously as Hermione), participate actively in lessons (like Neville during Herbology), give my best when it comes to PE (be as enthusiastic as Oliver Wood in Quidditch) and, and...oh yeah, make loads of friends.

One tends to think a lot in anticipation of certain event(s). But when one is in the midst of the activity(-ies), all the uncalled for worries will be soon forgotten. I'll just take things as they come. I've a good mind to enjoy the last hmm, two or three weeks here before I fly.

I may talk about leaving home for the first time so casually, but in actual fact, I'm still so scared. I can't withdraw. The only thing is to be brave and go on with life.

Love,
-xinying-

PW Outing

2005-08-13T13:08:00.000+01:00

This tiny corner of my blog is dedicated to sister Edmund.
me: I wanna go Mac and work to earn money.
sis: Why you want to work? When you go UK, you will have enough pounds...
This is what you get when you talk to a Literature student. Ahh, the pun...I'm not that fat what!Hey, I blogged about it okay.

Enough about 'pounds'.

Had HI 185's 2nd PW outing. The 1st outing to Toa Payoh was quite productive. Today's one didn't turn out that bad either. Initially, we had the completion of our Written Report in mind. Turned out that our goal was overly ambitious. At the end of the day, we were no where near to producing a full- length WR. At least we made decent enough progress though. I hope Mr Lau and whoever's marking our WR is capable of appreciating our bombustic use of English. Some of the sentences are really quite long- winded and crappy (sorry guys, I get easily carried away when doing this kind of stuff). Mm, our professional- looking room is ultra cool. Haha, the 'skimpy' grass, so Aileen blotched it with plants. Our floorplan is still very pro. I love it.

Why can't my dad just wait a few more weeks for me to leave then buy his precious durians? Oh man, I feel so tortured. My prediction: the fridge will remain out of bounds for the whole of next week till my dad clears the 4 boxes of durians. Sigh. At least I managed to save my box of choc chip cookies before they got too contaminated by the durians. Oh well.

Otherwise, nothing much to talk about today. Stephan Hawking's books are terribly hard to understand, or am I just plain daft? Chucked that History of Time book aside for a while. Vanity Fair should be easier to understand I hope. So long.

Love,
-xinying-

senior farewell

2005-08-12T15:49:00.000+01:00

Lessons were a drag. Somehow, I rather agree with my biao ge, I'm getting a little sick of the teachers and lectures. Feel like slacking at home, flipping burgers at Mac and cycling by the sea. I think I wouldn't really miss the lessons and all, but I will miss my CCA and friends though. It's terribly hard to pass the days without being in the company of one's friends and the fun that comes along with them.

In a very pissed off mood all morning and throughout the early afternoon. Got scolded by daddy for NO reason at all. Then my room's air con died on me. A mad bee insisted on staying in the bathroom with me (very scary). And some silly person said a stupid remark which just made me crosser than ever. Rubbish, unlucky things always come together.

The pizzas were great. I'm so piggy. Chris and I guarded 'our' stack of pizzas very carefully. Seafood, BBQ, turkey cheese and hawaiian. Mmm mm =) A little sneak sniff didn't hurt too, just made us more hungry and greedy than ever. I love Canadian pizza. 6 241 0 241! BBQ pizza topped with parmesan cheese and paprika. I'm in heaven..heaven...Stuffed myself with 4 (?? I lost count you see) thick crusty slices. Pig. I am fat. Pizza rocks.

Terrible game- master I am. Haha, maybe I should put myself in charge of the food next time. Sok rocks at being a game- master. You go girl! Mel rules when it comes to planning and designing everything and Chris has loads of initiative to get everything started. I suck. Fat and lazy. Mm, thanks all for turning up and participating so enthusiastically.

Love,
-xinying-

National Day

2005-08-09T16:06:00.000+01:00

I don't feel like blogging about every minute detail of this year's Parade. Like the past 10++ (??) years, they had the usual; the parachuters, the fighter jets, the marching (so super cool!), the songs and colourful displays. The usual. I realised that the programme hasn't changed much, just that different organisations put up slightly differently themed displays every year and that different mediacorp artistes take turns to sing the Song of the Year. It isn't the displays that draw me, instead I find the marching most enjoyable. So neat. So uniform. So well- organised. The epitome of perfection.

I really pity my sis. She's one of the people who wear the green camo U and highly kiwi- ed boots. She and her other NCC friends spent I think a few months practising for this day. Every Saturday 8am to 9pm (in short, the whole day) devoted to brushing up their marching etc. Tough life. So glad I didn't join NCC. Anyway, they came marching out, orderly, dignified and all. One would expect them to march proudly back after the guards- of- honour, past the President's platform. But oh no! They had to apparate pom- poms from nowhere and wave 'em gleefully after the formation of the human '40'. What a let down. Very, very anti- climax and disappointing. I didn't see her face. Too many of 'em there. Ah well...

Went to Chinatown to pick up some stuff - laundary bags, coat hangers and some warmer clothing. A well- spent day. Tomorrow, I will study tomorrow. Blasted Physics test and Chem tutorials. Actually, I don't really bother anymore. There ain't a need to. Gonna hand in my 'resignation' letter ASAP. Maybe I should really consider flipping burgers at McDonald's for two weeks before flying off. At least I'll have some flipping experience and all...I don't know...

Drop Phy for econs? Classical civilisation or government and politics? 4 or 5 AS(s)?

Love,
-xinying-

National Day eve cum Visa application

2005-08-08T10:25:00.000+01:00

*The 9th of August is a holiday
We don't have to go to school
We all can play
I'm dressed in my best
Especially for today
Hip hip hooray
It's our National Day!*

This song is stuck in my head. I've been singing it for something like 10 years already, from RGPS all the way to HCJC. And mind you, I remember the lyrics, the tune and the actions (there are even actions?!) perfectly. 10 years ago, imagine this little idiot, decked out in bright red culottes and a RGPS PE- tee marching bashfully along to the music. Don't forget the ruler- straight fringe and large circular specs. Yea, that's me. Don't laugh, I looked exactly like that. Used to have combined National Day celebrations with Henry Park Primary. Well, that's all in the past. The only thing to do is to look back now and laugh at how silly I must have looked. Ah well...All the other primary 1s looked almost just as nerdy, so I'm not too bad after all...自我安慰

National Day = Propaganda? Year after year, little kiddies are made to sing patriotic songs, adorn themselves in costumes reflecting the nation's colours and on the very day itself, witness our nation's awesome military might in the form of tanks rolling past the president's platform. Woah! Okay, I shall be a wee bit more appreciative of what the country's done for me and stop acting cynical. Honestly at times, I must say that the mass displays are really impressive. Those who've watched the parade live at the Padang say that the feeling one gets by being at the Stadium itself is many times more intense than watching the event in front of the TV. I don't know. I've never been to the Padang before...

Okay, I admit I'm a practical person. There's nothing like viewing the parade from the TV. I'm right smack in the comfort of my own home with absolutely no need to squeeze with the other thousands of Singaporeans. I don't have to endure the rain or heat too. And most importantly, the view's perfect (thanks to the skilful cameramen and women). Talking about the great view, I really wonder how much one can see while seated at the grandstand...Some mass display items have to be viewed from above, actually one should be in a helicopter to appreciate most of the intricate changes in design and colour. That would be simply spectacular. Anyway, it's about 24 more hours to the 2005 Parade and I will be watching it. I make it a point to watch it every year. I did so in secondary school mainly because the Chinese teachers would always demand a full- lengh descriptive essay on the Parade after the break. How devious. I watch it now because the marching is cool(and thank god no more Chinese compositions to finish). I really should be more patriotic, less emotionless and attempt to inject some enthusiasm into this annual affair.

Anyway, the HC celebration was so- so. The drizzle didn't help at all. I can't believe the school tried to pack 1600 of us (J1s and J2s) in the itsy- bitsy hall. They're stark raving mad...they really are. So hot and stuffy and the stink of sweat just made me feel more sick than ever. I hate being squashed in the middle of a huge crowd. The feeling; so cramped, so enclosed and so noisy makes me dizzy. I'm scared of crowds. I sound like a freakzoid who's afraid of human contact but I need space. SPACE. Cramped claustrophobic conditions only make me faint, serious, black out.

Was so happy when the whole thing ended. Went to make the seniors' farewell gifts then my Visa.

I am a happy girl. Finally learning to spread my wings and fly alone. The application's almost done and most admin matters all sorted out. All I have to do now is to buy new suitcases, shoes and not forgetting, the uniforms.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. two- tongued serpent, the Devil's assistant, nay....multi- faceted - an intrinsic quality of the human soul. I wonder, just how did the idea of 'trust' evolve? Trust...? Who?

To 4C with love

2005-08-07T07:02:00.000+01:00

Courtesy of Benj

Something must always crop up when my mom uses the camera. First, on Speech Day, she didn't manage to capture anything because she thought the battery was charged when it obviously wasn't. And as for yesterday, she helped to take a precious 4C photo. Now, I check the camera to find that there are NO files. Wow! They've all miraculously disappeared! Ok, I shan't blame her, but I shall never buy another casio camera again. I have nothing against Casio, it's just that my casio camera has something against me. First, it won't respond at sub- zero temperatures (fine...it's cold, I understand). Next, it even has the audacity to ignore me at room temperatures; the lens will just shrink back into the metallic body. Has anyone ever heard of a camera that refuses to take pictures at normal conditions? Thirdly, it always pretends to run out of battery. It's a cheat and a despicable liar. It fakes the 'low battery' red light alert, then when you turn it on again after a few hours, it'll register full battery! Stupid, mean, cheating cheater- bug camera...No more casio- s for me.

Now I'll just have to make do without pictures for this entry. Any 4C- ian who did take pictures, please send me okay? Thanks.

#1 on the agenda for today: thanks a lot to Shumay and Benj for organising the whole gathering and contacting everyone. The both of you rock. I name the both of you 'Best Chairpeople of the Year'.
#2 on the agenda for today: a big hand to all of you who generously contributed food and drinks. It was wonderful of all of you to lug the bags and bags of food all the way to my 'ulu' house.
#3 big thanks to Shuhui and Gongyue for being my Maria 2 and 3, who kindly helped me (Maria the 1st) clear all the plates and empty cups.
lastly, it was really sweet of you all to turn up. I must say this again, 4C is the best.

I miss 4C. There's no other class as wonderful as 4C.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. oh yes, thank you to those who have kindly promised to give me your JC notes.

Untitled

2005-08-05T17:40:00.000+01:00

My Math is terrible. I admit it. On Thurs, Ms Tang asked me if I wanted to take part in some HC Math peer tutoring session. Clarification: I will NOT be the student tutor but the tutored. Honestly I was rather appalled as it suddenly struck me how gruesome my grades must have looked to render me eligible for such an undesirable programme. Mommy keeps asking me to work harder on my Math, yeah, I should, but Math is really not my cup of tea. Just can't wait to finish that subject and drop it two years later. Then I'll be able to go hoorah at long last.

The best thing about the whole day was Dr. McGreggor's PW EoM lecture. Sharan and I both agree that he was wonderful when he came round to elaborating about the 'lovely bursts of green outside the library window ready to distract you...' Very sarcastic. We both agreed that he gives terrific and humorous lectures (I'm not trying to be sarcastic or anything, this is what we both genuinely felt).

I don't trust safety pins anymore. Normally I stick a safety pin somewhere in my uniform to maintain its length (a reasonable height above my knees) and to make it look tidier. This morning, without rhyme or reason, the pin came undone and started stabbing/ jabbing me in the tummy, no, abdomen. 'Tummy' sounds fat. The word sounds deliciously flabby and overweight, must be the 'tum' in it...As I am currently relatively slim, I shan't use that obese- sounding word on myself. Ha ha. Fancy safety pins being called safety pins when they threaten to hurt the user (me, that is). I could have been pricked, no, stabbed (it sounds way more dramatic and increases the seriousness of the whole affair)! I could have lost a few litres of blood! What rubbish. Stuff and nonsense.

This morning's, no yesterday morning's (it's way past midnight)...put it simpler, Friday 5th August's Phy prac was totally screwed. I've realised that I'm almost hopeless when it comes to doing and fiddling around with stuff with my hands. Even the simplest action of tying knots, hanging weights and turning burette taps can prove a great obstacle for me aka the world's greatest klutz. I hopeless when it comes to doing these sort of nimble- finger things. I've got fat and clumsy sausague-like fingers, not nice to look at, much worse at doing fine work (looks like I can never me a brain surgeon, big deal, I don't want to anyway). Today, no yesterday...whatever! This problem (clumsy fingers) surfaced nearly two years ago when I was struggling with my sec school Chemistry practicals. I'd never seem to be good at qualitative or volumetric analysis and dear Ms Cheong would point out that it was all due to the lack of hand- eye coordination. And why the poor coordination? Because I don't do housework. Simple as that. According to her, my fingers haven't gotten enough practice and exercise. They aren't adapted to the rigours of practical work.

I still strongly resist doing household chores (people say I'm a born tai- tai...whatever!), and very logically, I still suck big time at practicals. Titration's a totally nerve- racking experience, just a slight turn of the tap and whoosh, there goes your accurate burette readings.

Talking about the screwed up Phy prac. Sigh. The given length of string was too short so I spent nearly forever attaching the extra piece to it. The final length was way too long so I cut it and re- attached the whole thing. Still too long. I believe PHT was watching in amusement as he observed me fighting tooth- to- nail with the ridiculous length of string. Had it been another SPA Skill B assessment, I bet I wouldn't have scored anything above 2 (total score being 8). It's amazing how successful these non- living objects are when it comes to pissing me off. They are absolutely brilliant at it! I was pespiring (just remembered that the term 'sweating' is only used for animals, not humans that is) in exasperation and irritation. PHT must have seen that look on my face. He offered me his portable fan, carried it all the way to my bench and switched it on. Goodie! A fresh breeze throughout the whole 2 hrs. He's a great teacher!

Went to watch the RGS annual choir concert just now. Very amsuing.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. my arm and leg muscles are all aching because of the strenuous swimming PE lesson. They hurt when prodded. Looks like I'm becoming unfit again.

Untitled

2005-08-03T14:23:00.000+01:00

Gosh, a good four days of blogger- abstinence! Better shake myself out of this slack attitude and start putting together the bits and pieces of my life. Memories are so totally important. A compilation of memories will just facilitate the bitter- sweet process of remembrance and remniscence. Or could the past four days prehaps mark the start of the decline of blogging perseverance? Too occupied with life to blog, that's an easy enough excuse, a pretty way of stating the plain fact: I am lazy. No matter how busy, one should always find a wee bit of time to do some compartmentalisation of information and diary writing, recall the events of the day and analyse the stuff.

But anyway, I'm back again, and this time, with a vengeance. I shall make this as long an entry as I can possibly manage. A long entry; quantity. I shall start working on the quality of my writings, make it more reflective and stuff. Shallow, nay, I will work to cultivate a deeper me.

Swimming for PE, god knows how much I've complained about it. Not god, my friends at least. Now why do I dislike swimming so much? As far as I know, I used to enjoy this activity when I was much, much younger. I've got this terrible skin problem all over my back, exposing it via wearing a swimming costume is just so wrong. Managed to skip PE for 2 weeks. I'm not an excuse generating machine and not unexpectedly, ran out of good excuses this week. No choice. Wasted almost the whole of last night shopping for a decent enough swim wear which might hopefully be able to cover up those acne cum skin problem hotspots. Then I realised I am so difficult to please. Only black or some other plain colour, no retro colours, no large indecent holes at weird places blah. That practically narrowed the potential choices down by half. I was so tempted to purchase a wet suit...Eventually settled for something more normal and inconspicuous.

Kept hoping for it to rain. It didn't rain today. It never does rain whenever I want it to and always does rain when I don't want it to. I hate the weather, personally I think it has something against me. Therefore, was forced to go swimming. Hey swimming pool, here I come! My trustworthy goggles, they failed me today. Before I even entered the pool, the miserable thing snapped into half (not at the easily repairable 'joining' areas but the rubber just broke), there goes. Firstly, I'm terrible short- sighted, rendered almost blind as a batty without my powered goggles. Secondly, I can't see underwater, I'm way too scared to open my eyes in the pool. Nice start to the lesson eh?

Conveniently followed Crystal to the Beginners lesson. The teacher (whoever she was) was really nice. She greeted me with a 'Are you supposed to be here? Why is it that I didn't see you for the past 2 weeks? Why did you not come for swimming lessons earlier?'. Basically, she nearly interrogated me. All those 'why' questions. Very scary. Like she didn't want to take in new students or something. A very friendly start indeed.

Beginners work on their freestyle. I don't like to swim freestyle aka the super tiring style. Frogstyle's (breaststroke??) much more relaxing. She made us swim one by one so that she could inspect our moves. Very terrifying, considering I haven't been swimming for nearly 4 years. Almost wanted to freak out. Must have looked clownish struggling in the water. No, I'm not all that bad. As I was saying up there, no goggles for me, therefore yours truly valiantly attempted to open her eyes underwater. My eyes are hydrophobic, they refused to come into contact with the chlorine- contaminated water. They immediately shut themselves after opening. And when I open my eyes underwater, I simultaneously start breathing in the surrounding water. Looks like I don't have the best of muscular coordination. Sigh. Then someone had to remark that my nose had turned an awful shade of red, so much for choking on water...

Shame on my swimming skills. I've let Uncle Victor down. Geez. Rusty.

Bio prac was fun. A DIY leaf epidermal slide. Paint the epidermis of any leaf with a pretty layer of transparent nail varnish. Slack around for a while. Peel of the sticky layer, put it on a slide and squash a coverslip over it. *tada* examine it under a light microscope and count the number of stomata. Intelligent people make the magnification as high as possible to count the least number of stomata. The not so observant used the 10x magnification lens therefore wind up counting 50 odd of those little structures. Ha ha. I sound deprived. Nevermind.

Love,
-xinying-

Untitled

2005-07-30T06:14:00.000+01:00

Yesterday's Phy lecture was the best ever. PHT is the most humorous lecturer! During his lecture, he attempted to drown oranges by removing the bouyant fibrous 'orange lifejacket' and tried to explain the anomalous behaviour of water by imitating aliens and their 'I want square cold water' in a phony, weird metallic voice. He does act cute at times...Very interesting lecture, just that he goes way too fast, thus no time for us to copy and think. And his very queer habit of dimming all the lights at the expense of our eyesight in favour of the whims of the projector and visualiser. So much for my first lecture on The Physics of Fluids.

Do local lecturers pale in comparison to caucasian ones?

Had guitar photo taking. Photo taking's a very nerve- racking affair, I always end up looking horrid and most of the times, managed to single- handedly spoil the whole picture. The sad thing is I won't be able to see the end product (year book) *sinking feeling*. Oh well...Sometimes I feel terrible, I'm so not suited to be an MI. Take yesterday's practice for example. I can't clap out the rhythm of a song properly even with the help of a metronome! The more I clap, the faster everything gets, what a mess! What a failure I am. Sigh. This is bad, I can't even contribute to the ensemble. Argh!

Had dinner out with 大哥, 小妹, Guanlin, Irene, Yewmun and Zechy at J8. I think I'm really free, always available for outings with people. Okay, I feel like an idiot, lugging my dear Frankie (darling guitar, newly christened) all the way from school to Bishan then back to school again. Should have lobbied for someplace nearer, sheesh, wasted my voting right. Worse still, my bag's ridiculously heavy because I was tricked into bringing Chem TYS. Mrs Chan explicitly stated that she would be going through our mock SPA assesment, and the forgetful me, faithfully brought that book along. How very silly. Serves me right I expect. The seniors' bags all look so tiny and light, I wonder how all their stuff can fit inside...a great mystery which I have yet to unravel. Though the rest offered to take Frankie and my bag, but no, I'm glad I refused them or else...they would have been burdened with the heavy load for the rest of the night=) At least I didn't have to go home early, that's good enough.

'Touch wood', the Singlish (??) expression synonymous with the phrase 'don't mention such unlucky things!'. 小妹 and I both agree that 大哥 would make a reliable doctor, but definitely not *ahem* Yewmun. Just joking. Talking about bronchitis, he kept insisting that it was incurable and that the people known to have suffered it apparently do not seem to be getting better. Amusing. Very cheerful.

GL looked rather shocked when I said I didn't like to go home. A few years back, I wasn't like this...in fact, I looked forward to and loved going home. Why the sudden change? My sisters have become 大忙人s ever since they entered RGS. Both my mom and dad are nowadays, too preoccupied with reading the newspapers. All are too busy minding their own matters to sit and talk nonsense with me. Oh oh...so tragic. Seems a pretty superficial reason but it basically encapsulates the situation of mental loneliness and boredom. Comparatively speaking, school and CCA seems a lot more fun. JC life is a lot of fun really.

Home also means the need to face and put up with a torrent of nagging. 'Read the Chinese newspapers! Don't waste so much time online! Why can't you be more independent? Have you sorted out your Math (my most hated subject)...' so on and so forth. Am I really that dreadful a kid?

'They tell you that the most dangerous emotion is hatred. Don't believe them - the most dangerous emotion is love'
- Author P.D. James
Lifestyle
The Straits Times, Saturday 29th July

Love,
-xinying-

Experiment from De Lovely.

Sleep

2005-07-28T15:38:00.000+01:00

Today is Thursday, I've nearly lost count of all the days and dates despite the three mini calendars I carry with me all over. Sometimes when the days keep passing by with nothing significant ever happening, life seems like a drag. Yet it goes by ever so quickly, I'm nearly seventeen. In a few years time, I'll probably get a job, retire in a twinkling of an eye and get ready for my grand Senior Citizen's Tour of the World. Then it'll be about time to pick a decent design for my coffin...

My mind is weary and I cannot organise all my thoughts. Too many of them crowded in that little space. The avalanche of mental matters can only mean tonnes of memories to compartmentalize and the lack of time to reflect and analyse the day's happenings.

Was desperately late for school today. Second consecutive time this week. Needless to say, had my EZ link card confiscate again by the 'hairstylist' (or so Sharan calls him). Used to be highly punctual and uptight about time in my earlier days. Lately, the concept of puntuality seems to have faded a bit, it does not present itself with the importance and influence it used to wield over me. If I'm late again tomorrow, they'll have nothing to confiscate, my card- ie is still with them. I've made up my mind, I shall be on the dot and just in time for assembly tomorrow. This late- ness thing does reflect real bad.

No more El Nino, or so it seems. The weather has resumed its normal behaviour, it's really hot and humid (it ought to be, it's July after all and that means start of the so- called summer in Singapore). It rained almost every other day the past week, now I have to accept my share of the unforgivable heat without complain. The heat just makes lessons unbearable, especially those in the labs and the Block B classrooms. Mrs Tan seems to have finally noticed me at last, though not because I've decided to be her star pupil at long last or amused her with some witty comment. She's finally learnt my name and remembered my face for the simple reason; she caught me sleeping during her very important Bio lab session. 'So tired is it? Need to use bag as a pillow...', couldn't have been more obvious that she was referring to me. Who could have resisted succumbing to the temptations of sleep. The weather as mentioned above, very warm and the lab lights dimmed (to enhance clarity of image on OHP screen). Apparently, everyone else managed to keep sleep at bay, that is, with the exception of me.

Slept the whole PW lesson away today. Too tired to care. Woke up with a headache and the dreadful sticky feeling all over, was more tired than ever. I fall asleep to wake up and find myself more lethargic, where's the logic?

Sleep is very essential. I think I shall go and get some now.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. I need ideas! Too sleepy to think of any sarcastic comment or interesting thing to blog about. Ahh well...

Bring me to life

2005-07-26T15:46:00.000+01:00

Irritating sister. Told her thrice NOT to disconnect my com and she FORGOT. *bitter laughter* Well done, I'll just have to type my whole entry again ya? I cannot. The lost entry was written with a 'divine' spark of inspiration, now I have lost it forever. I'll shall try my best to piece together the remaining bits. To no avail, my memory's failing me.

Today was a beautiful rainy morn. It's excruciating to have to drag oneself to school when sleep's beckoning. Come away to dreamland and leave your worries behind. Ah no. Parents commands cannot be defied and school rules cannot be broken, with the exception of an MC, I do not have the fortune of being in possession of one of those lovely documents. So there there, school's waiting. Bother! What a waste! Such a glorious morn...

*Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
The night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore*

Chem and Bio passed relatively quickly compared to the dreadful GP. GP was 'Recognising Arguments'. In the first place, I do not employ such techniques to help me answer compre questions. I'll just waste more time identifying the 'premise' and 'conclusion' compared to lifting the answer straight out from the passage. Oh well, just put up with it and things will be fine. Painful painful. Should we even have GP lessons in the first place. But I'd stick to the write more, read more and listen more theory. A teacher to mark the compos is important.

Went with Sok Boon and xiao mei to West Mall to waste time. Worthwhile time is spent by wasting it. Bimbo bimbo. I realised, that when we're simply sitting around doing nothing, the gossip and nonsense just overflows. Good, a very well- spent afternoon. See, I'm wasting my life.

Went to take my passport photos. I look like rubbish. Like some person grimacing in pain. I should get a mirror and work on my facial expressions, especially my smile. Smile. Be natural. Perfect. Bullshit. A very interesting observation; the older I become, the wider I smile in my photos. My primary school pictures simply showed a sullen little idiot, frowns and all. In secondary school, I didn't frown or deliberately look angry but I looked the World's Biggest Nerd ever. J1, slightly better. Still needs a lot of improvement.

Brought xiao mei along to my house. Slacked more. My dress sense is bad and outlandish. Had to rely on her to choose clothes for me. Shame on you Xinying...Fine, I shall learn to be more girly.

Didn't enjoy Arts Fest as much as I had hoped to. The ticket sales was terrible. So no atmosphere, as the Chinese put in 'mei you qi fen', the audi was less than half- filled. The songs...ah well. I will be thankful, away from home and the pressures of work. Still, a good night.

Currently experiencing mood swing. Nostradamus predicts: Xinying will be very silent and stone tomorrow. Rubbish prediction, ain't I always like that? At least my condition worsened over the last few days. So no mood to go school. I don't want Math, I don't want PE, I don't want Phy and I don't want Bio too! I don't know what I want or what to expect of life...I want to be alone, me and my thoughts. Alone. May the silence be with me. Me and my thoughts. I long for a merciful veil of mist to obscure all those tiresome thoughts...

Love,
-xinying-

PS. been thinking about what my dad said. I'm really wasting my life.
BRING ME TO LIFE!!!

Untitled

2005-07-25T15:09:00.000+01:00

It's way past midnight. What do you do if you're really bored and just can't go to sleep?

Ans: Cut your own hair!!

Armed with my trusty pair of orange scissors, snip snip snip and it's goodbye to those little bits of my fringe. Snipping away at one's hair is really addictive. The more I cut, the happier I got, more more! Felt rather proud at my own handiwork, not bad, in the future, I may even be able to cut my children's hair (just joking). At least my fringe looks respectable.

I got too caught up with all that cutting and went OVERBOARD! Sheesh! Now my fringy is ultra short and looks pretty bad, very off from what I originally wanted it to be.

Moral of the story: Don't cut your own hair!!

Love,
-xinying-

PS. This is a stupid entry.

No luck

2005-07-24T13:05:00.000+01:00

Rather unlucky day. Went up to Muar today to see guardians who happened to drop by.

First my mom and her hand surgery. She's quite handicapped now and will continue being so for the whole of next week.

Drove all the way to the Tuas checkpoint and as the car was nearing the customs, the engine threatened to die. It started making weird wheezing noises, like some extremely corpulent person huffing and puffing. Then my dad stepped on the accelerator and the car STARTED SLOWING DOWN. Very terrible feeling, the engine was basically lugging the car up the gradual slope. Natural instinct was to turn back, go straight home and use the other car, more reliable. We didn't want to risk the car breaking down in some 'ulu' remote spot along the Malaysian highway. Towing it away would be a big problem and walking all the way back to Singapore would be just worse.

Dad did a u- turn and drove away from the customs back to home. Only then did the engine start running as smooth as a nut again. All the wheezing stopped. That did it. Now dad's swearing to scrap the car and get another one, NOT another Volvo this time, as he puts it, very 'unreliable'. There there, all in all, wasted a precious Sunday hour all because of a ridiculous car! Should have seen my dad's face...Most amusing expression.

Reached Muar after a 2hour ride accompanied by intermittent showers and a very grey sky, cheerful cheerful. Supposed to meet them at one particular Taman Sentosa blah blah(??). Dad asked several people along the way, and none seemed to have heard of the place, very vague instructions they gave. 'Go straight past a prison then ask someone else' or 'Isn't that supposed to be a restaurant?', NO, Taman Sentosa's NOT the name of a restaurant but of a residential area in the suburbs of Muar. For the first time, my dad (whose sense of direction's near perfect) was left very, very perplexed. There didn't seem to be any signboards either. My mom started lavishing praise on the signboard system back home. I can see why. I don't wonder why.

There there, wasted a whole day. Still bothering about school and homework, honestly my dad thinks I'm mad, my uncle too. Offered some away- from- home experience with him in Sabah but I told him I preferred mugging and sitting for tests instead. He was rendered quite speechless. But then again, I think so too myself. I am mad. I am mad. I am mad.

Love,
-xinying-

Wednesday IS so far away...

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2005-07-23T03:51:00.000+01:00

Yesterday morning was kind of good and bad. Phy SPA was interesting, hope I did well (my favourite practical sessions after all). Subsequently, towards the end of school everything went downhill. A horrid sense of hunger and the stupid cramps which refused to go away until 1440hrs. Was so plagued by boredom and listlessness throughout the whole Math and Chem tutorials. Uh oh, study attitude needs correcting (first worrying sign of sever slacking).

Guitar auditions, gosh, I wouldn't really like to sit through another one. Exco had to go through it first. Rather discomforting to have Jwei, Cheryl and the rest looking on, feel so 'ban men neng fu'. So lousy, so lousy...Screwed up the usual parts, I'm so sorry Mel, it's just that I should practise more and work on those hotspots. Woohoo~ all over and done with! The next 2 to 3 hours (the whole of Fri's practice in fact) was all spent on auditioning the rest. Some were really good! Mel and I, being the nice people that we are, agreed to play to accompany them. All in all, we played our bass part around 5 times. Imagine playing a whole song again, again, again and again and again! Practise does make perfect, at least after everything, we stopped making a mess of the usual places. Much heartened. Poor xiao mei, swollen fingers and all...

Left P, VP and HMI in school to arrange their scores. Told HMI and Cheryl to come along with us but they refused, so if they wind up awfully hungry, that's their problem, we invited them after all, heh heh (I sound evil...oh No!). Haha, 'hot date' with xiao mei (not really, were in a rush to get back to school with the dinners, 3 lives were at stake after all) at Serene. Just a gossip session really (my hobby, must treat it with reverance). Icky tomatoes, cut those up into weeny pieces and stuffed them among the pieces of bread so I won't see them when I eat the sandwiches. Hopefully, by not seeing them, I won't be able to taste them as well...tomatoes! Feel like a health freak now, tomatoes (eeyer!), lettuce and cucumbers all in one meal (sounds like I visited a salad bar), fortunately the 'french fried' (gruesome spelling error on the menu) neutralised the very unbecoming effects of healthy-ness.

Received one after another phone calls from P and VP. The first call put through, they just wanted to know when we would be back with their dinners. The second one, they sounded pretty starved. Had to 'da bao' the beautiful mudpie back to school, if we had eaten it at Serene, we would have to then expect 'three dead bodies' (quotes VP). Brisk walked and almost half ran the whole way back to school. Braved the dangerous road and hazardous cars. The stupid door was locked! Made a detour all the way to the side gate. By the time the third call was put through, P sounded frantically hungry and close to tears. Got back and they 'dao-ed' us lar! Tsk tsk...

Wednesday is so far away...

Love,
-xinying-

Been thinking a bit about mother's email, I think I wrote a rather rude, to- the- point one in reply...dear dear dear, I should be less harsh, I'm a terrible daughter!

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2005-07-21T14:59:00.000+01:00

Argh, no com for the last two days was pure torture. My sis kept hogging it, yes hogging it like a pig and left me staring at the com in dismay and gentle regret. Ahh my computer, parting is such sweet sorrow yea? I probably should make practising my dear pipa and guitar my full- time hobby, that'll keep me far, far away from the evils of the computer.

The swimming lesson looked fun. The water was tempting yesterday, it being a hot humid day in the first place. Oh so envious! Or rather, I was looking at very pro people swim freestyle and butterfly effortlessly. Perhaps I should swim next week? Should place myself in Beginner, nice and slack I think (as if I can even make it into Intermediate)...

What happened on Wednesday is so remniscent of my unfortunate habit when I used to sneak away from CCA for straight 40- minute Cookie breaks with Amanda. When Chris and I (occupied with the Guitar 2s had our backs were turned), almost everyone else was gone in a flash. Oh dear dear...They were gone for an hour! Okay, now I realised that it's not too nice to just disappear then reappear again, rather unsettling for whoever's in charge; like 'Where did all of them go to?' Guitar 2s are really hardworking and quite amusing, always laughing over nothing. Teaching them is...I totally agree with Chris. Join guitar!

A few more weeks left. I didn't realise how short this 6 weeks would be until my father reminded me. Sigh, I don't want to think about it...I shan't, it can't go on forever...

Saw 'mommy' at Yamaha, aiyo. Alien's retro $5 cloth capo's so adorable! Red with some very off flowery patterns. He's very 'on', will play and sing almost every song I demand. Played the full version of Malaguenas (??), this made me realise something very important, that is, I will need lots of practice coupled with a few decades for me to be able to accomplish something like that. Oh dear dear, how very encouraging, I guess practice makes perfect. I shall be patient, I will not quit and someday I shall be pro...Oooh, very excitited. My first- hand experience of using a tuning fork to tune guitars! Super cool and accurate technique! Must get myself a beautiful tuning fork someday.

Love,
-xinying-

mother's chasing me away from the com, tata*

Untitled

2005-07-19T09:42:00.000+01:00

Ahh, feel so independent all of a sudden, another part of growing up... This is so unlike me, I don't think I would've even dared do things on my own last year. Called that rubbish High Commission to make my visa, then I didn't really prepare what to say so screwed up that phone call and had to call Enquiry again (hope the woman answering didn't recognise my voice..ai, self- conscious). I think I should use 'rubbish' on myself instead. Directed me to some VFS website for VERY USEFUL INFORMATION and guess what, I can't access that irritating site. How delightful...Now, I can't just sit around staring at the blank page can I?

Work!
I, Master and Conqueror of the Internet, command thee to reveal thyself and show me the Information!

Reduced to this pathetic state of relying on very spurious incantations...tsk tsk

Talking about incantations and spells, just finished Harry Potter and the Half- Blood Prince yesterday in one sitting. Took me like 7 hours?! No prizes for guessing why I've developed this neck pain...Well, all I can say is that this book's more enjoyable than the 5th (in my opinion of course). It's dark, yes, but much better without Umbridge around, that rubbish toad- like ghost of a creature. Ahh, the pain of waiting for the last book, I know it'll be interesting! Harry as a freelance 'Auror', nay shan't use that word, he ain't the pretty poster boy of the MOM, Voldemort tracker might be more apt in this case...Shall go read MuggleNet later...

GP was the final blow. I'm not too sore about failing Maths (expected given my past prejudices and stuff), but of all things, GP not being up to expectations! Man, look at how my English's worsening day by day. Just what I am complaining about, this IS after all probably going to be one of the last few GP essays, so there there...I'll analyse the comments and work hard to brush up my language. Wish they would give more time for me to craft out a reasonable essay though....Can't really care less about Thursday's Big Release of Bio Results. Hooray for me if I really do get an O (or anything higher, odds of 9 to 1), how very likely...ha ha

Had a rather long talk with PHT this morning. Told me loads of useful stuff about the English, Scottish and the Welsh. One day I'll get down to compiling a '101 Hand Tips- What a Foreigner Needs to Know About the English'. I'm going to get him a Teachers' Day present! I'm really lucky, thanks all for the bits of help!

Love,
-xinying-

The House of Steak

2005-07-17T15:20:00.000+01:00

My mom got invited to dine on steak at Lawry's (I wasn't invited though, hrumpf!). Even someone like her who isn't a fan of beef thoroughly enjoyed that dinner. She reported that the tender, succulent, juicy steak was going at $70 per person. Crap! How could anyone bear to spend that just for a piece of meat, no matter how scrumptous (unless his/ her middle name is Rich). So, being the 'ngeow' (miser) me, managed to convince parents to eat out at somewhere more economical, that is - Jack's Place, the House of Steak. $70 is worth THREE Jack's Place visits okay...

I'm obsessed with steak. Just remembered a minute ago that I wrote a whole compo dedicated to steak in sec. 1. That's how crazy I get when it comes to my favourite animal, or rather, meat =) Needless to say, the teacher thought I was a bit eccentric but who cares.

Medium rare, beautifully done medium rare. Can't say that I love veggies, so chose the dish which had the least vegs as reflected in the pic on the menu. Rather happy with myself, yes! haha, was congratulating myself on my smart choice until the dish came and I saw it littered with peas. Peas, of everything, it had to be PEAS. Peas are small, green (urgh!) and squishy (reminds me of mushy green caterpillars and baby maggots)...Worked my way through the pile of peas, totally forgot about the steak. This shows how annoying peas are, bad enough to make me ignore and eat my favourite food without even savouring it. Rule, eat the stuff you don't like first then those you enjoy later.

Was only when my sis went 'how come my steak got so much blood?' (actually not a lot what, just that she is tot'ly afraid of the weeniest bit of blood thus got medium you see) then i realised, Oh crap! That's mine! My precious medium rare baby...gosh! Wasted! Sigh...

Then heard all the bad news about Dumbledore and stuff, sian already, don't know how I can bring myself to read that book tomorrow...bleahx

Today's such a terrible day. First my food, now the book...lol

Love,
-xinying-

Untitled

2005-07-15T15:55:00.000+01:00

Ooh, today's actually one of the last few days I can get to listen to the seniors' guitar SYF pieces. Before the start of practice, sneaked in LT4 with 妹 to open the back door to allow easy access later. The seniors who were there gave us weird looks, but that's immaterial.

Chris and I did something pathetic. At 4 there was like only 3 others beside the com members. OMG...that's like half an hour late...maybe next time should cheat them and pretend that guitar starts at 3 every fri instead of 330, haha. Back to the pathetic thing we did. Anyway, we went back down to the central plaza and acted like shepherds, spotting our targets and chasing our dear little sheep back to B301. This is so sad, I feel so naggy and terrible. But must say that the dear little sheep were very nice, they immediately hastened to the little classroom. Ahh, guitar people are so nice (yeah, I believe in this).

Oh no! Chris and I, I think we made a huge mess of the G2 beats. Oh dear, just what did we teach them? So embarrassing, next prac go to them and say "Sorry, what we taught you all last week is completely wrong, we screwed up...let me tell you the CORRECT version", this is like how 丢脸 lar...Dear me!

Slipped away to LT4 for heh heh...ultra lame, in order not to alert and disrupt the practice, we entered through the backdoor. But we had to do something about of height, total concealment is important too. Squatted on the floor and hopped into the LT like a bunch of jackrabbits?!

大哥 was like so amusing. Was like "Irene, can help us complete a beautiful picture by just agreeing to whatever we say". The way he tried to beat around the bush and persuade was so amusing. Now I have a daddy and I'm not some freakzoid that happened to be born into this world by binary fission etc. Wahaha, family almost complete. My throat muscles are sore, thanks to all that laughing. Then egged Mel on to take candid shots of the 'Silent Victims' for the making of our PUZZLE. A jigsaw puzzle, gonna cut up their faces and let them piece it together, maybe the puzzle should be the 500- piece sort (that'll take them at least a week). All the pieces should be of different colours and the edges need not match, we tear at random (curvy lines, straight lines and what not). *evil grins*

Geraldine dropped by, with much useful info. She's so cheery.

Amusing.

Love,
-xinying-

Untitled

2005-07-14T15:25:00.000+01:00

Haha. I didn't know that I was actually so 'influential', the power radiating from me managed to keep Mel awake today, wahaha. The Bio lect was interesting, Mr Suresh's lectures are the only understandable ones! This may sound strange but it comes from the bottom of my heart, no sarcarsm intended or anything. I am a weirdo...

By the way, thanks Mel 小妹 for the muffins! Nothing but compliments for it. Anything that has chocolate inside is my favourite=) Feel so 自卑, should learning cooking and baking some time soon.

Been depressed too long so decided to make TODAY my Day. So far so good, except for my mom (real one) insulting me and attempting to defame me without any concrete evidence, what 'you don't read the newspapers!', no wonder 'head so empty...(blah)'. Damn insulted. Fine! I have a brain okay, my skull is not just packed and stuffed with sawdust powder or straw...tsk

PHT was very nice about it, well, after I told him. Didn't kick up a big fuss or anything, just recounted much of his experience and said many nice things. Feel much happier after listening to what he told me, 'you'll end up with great friends' and 'it's really lively'. Comforted. LHS was also quite okay with everything too, looks like I must really 'pia' PW within this one month. Wish my group luck. The best thing today was Ms Tang's super duper cool high tech touch- screen she used to teach us 3D trigo. Technology never ceases to amaze me with its improvements. 'No wonder this is what they use our school fees for', quotes a fellow 7D-ian.

Hmm..Just wondering why RL (aka. 'alien', what I call him in private) can't give me another song with more chords apart from the usual C and G7, not that Que Sera Sera is not nice but, a change would be great. I wanna learn more chords! Bleah~ hate barre. Believe I was almost near experiencing rigor mortis while trying the Rasgueado practices, my fingers wanted to cramp and drop off. This is the total opposite from 轮 and needs getting used to.

Today's my Day and so will tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and tomorrow! Don't worry be happy=) big smilex, I sound like an idiot (whatever...)

Love,
-xinying-

PS. to think about it, my immune system's just too good, absolutely efficient in 'repairing' and growing new skin. My ear holes...bleahx. Looks like I'm due for a 3rd piercing, sigh.

Untitled

2005-07-13T14:32:00.000+01:00

Swimming! Why does 7D have to be as unlucky as to end up with the 10- week swimming module? Irritating, why does every school I go to make its students swim? Though I have the Junior Lifesaver GOLD award, that was eons ago. Now I'm quite sure I forgotten how to float. End of me, drowning. Don't want to wear that ugly swimming costume...*whines* Fine. I shall think about this problem later, keep myself happy in the meantime. Shan't let this terrible thing trouble me, at least not yet.

Played a very retarded game of captain's cum basket ball with the girl population of the class. In the end, it was like 3 vs 3?!

Bio prac was nice and light, not too much stress. This is the kind of prac I like, microscopy - an introduction.

Guitar was ...Hehe, yes! Guitar 3s improved, at least we stopped screwing up at the 'transition' part. 'SHE' kept hanging around. Chris's expression was so funny, was like mouthing 'go away! go away' and saying some sarcastic things about her. Super- tuner! The LT was as freezing as usual, haha...Mel, Cheryl and the mittens the last last last (blah) practice. Maybe we can wear mitts if we use the pick instead, hmm. Bass is so lovely; low, warm, comforting and reassuring, especially for this song. It's like some soothing thing at the back of one's mind, calm and gentle. Bass, bass...yipee!

Volunteered or rather got my way this time, transferred Chris and myself to guitar 1. The melody's easy enough, easier than Serenata (so shocking that one, with impossible tempo), fine, I admit I am lousy. Headache...the sound they produce is seriously NOT proportional to the number of people, most of the time, could only hear Chris playing?! What the...okok. Maybe it might be better to listen to them ONE BY ONE...muahaha *evil laughter* Quite unresponsive, ask question them whether they were clear about the beats and it was like SILENCE. Am I that fierce? No what, I don't think I'm all that scary, at least The Terrorist says I'm not (see, I've got support). Should be stricter, need to pick up a few tips here and there from the great discipline masters all over the world. So slack, am I becoming a slave- driver?

Wait and see. Friday's practice. Haha.

Love,
-xinying-

PS. stop irritating me, my nerves are pretty raw and frayed. If you promised to do something, then DON'T go back on your word. Pissed...to *you*

PW outing

2005-07-12T15:02:00.000+01:00

Com very lag. Now, why does it have to be lag when I need to search the Web for PW stuff? It's purposely going against me! So distressed! Must click the link like thrice before they're willing to direct me to the desired site. Ridiculous...The Internet is a vast sea of information, the irony of the whole thing is that I simply can't find anything relevant! Not even the weeny-est bit of material. Now, how can that be?

So dazed throughout school. My eyes were practically closing. Worse, stayed up last night to go through the Phy independent learning test. And they had to postpone the whole thing! Cheated, beguiled! Hurt...Why couldn't they just administer the test today? Over and done with it, now isn't that just better and more merciful?

HI 185 so super efficient. About an hour at the library and shortly found all the stuff we needed. Then Chee Gake, Charlene and me just walk walk round Toa Payoh and eat and walk. Very slack but I like =) Wish it didn't rain. Ahh, our Learning Journey to Science Centre and JJ's coming up, good good, another outing!

Should sleep, sleep makes one look younger or so I have heard. No harm in trying it out. Nights!

Love,
-xinying-

Untitled

2005-07-11T14:51:00.000+01:00

Depression. This is one bleak entry. Couldn't really sleep well the past few nights. Didn't have the usual appetite and all I wanted to do was to sit and stone. Terrible. Depressed over what? I don't know too...

In the past, I just listened and never stopped to wonder what it would be like, now i finally know what she'd been talking about. I understand. Really remarkable how something so insignificant can translate into much more when actions preceed the thinking process. My motto : think thrice before doing something.

So far, I've got a DE and O for blocks. Assume I get an F for Bio (not impossible, in fact this is highly probable) and a C for GP, that'll give me a CDEOF. How cool! Ha ha. What a wide and varied range of results, now isn't that just so exciting? CDEOF...how very amusing and encouraging...I shall wait and see. Sharan's really amusing sometimes, like how she cracked me up with people getting a UFO, DEED, BEEB and BOOB (rather vulgar, so sorry) for their blocks. Chem was worse than expected, I really wonder what my state of mind was when I did that paper.

Harder than expected to access the com. The continuous nagging never leaves me alone, but what do parents know of Blogger and MSN? Alternative relaxation modes, nay, mummy and papa wouldn't hear of it. To them, to relax is to read Chinese classics and pore over the newspapers. Being made of mainly rubbish, I need more nonsensical and less serious forms to unwind. No com for a day and I feel depression setting in, the withdrawal symptoms grow with every passing hour. Cold turkey, yes, I'm gonna fight this addiction. It'll solve some of my problems too, I won't see thus won't know. Escapist? What do I care?

Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before...
Let your soul take you where you long to be...

This depression is getting to be very unhealthy. Shall occupy myself with other happier thoughts like reading, thinking about how to lose 3kg and busying myself with my dearest lao-gong. Tomorrow shall be a better day. I live for myself, I do as I please so long as it is not to the detriment of others.

Love,
-xinying-

Speech Day

2005-07-09T16:02:00.000+01:00

Went back to RV to get my long- awaited prize (haha no lah...), my hard- earned prize after countless TYS-es. This year they cancelled the Book Prize award, quite sad if not I would have been able to see more of my dear 4C-ians. But why? RV too poor to buy more awards? The Hall too small? Wish we were still at the beloved old West Coast campus...after all, 4 long years there...how I wish we hadn't moved to this new, unfamiliar Commonwealth place. Sigh. Still, was so happy to go back.

The shirt was a tad too big (my mom's), the HC blazer dotted with spots of white paint (just what did the councillors do to it?) but nevertheless, it really does make one feel proud to don the JC ceremonial U (not that I 'haolian' or anything).

LLM was in charge of briefing us (I can see why, she hasn't lost a bit of her strictness and love for discipline). Looks like RV still won't let us graduates off, we were made to answer MCQ questions for some survey. Geez. They're very particular about stage etiquette (according to Mrs Tan, LLM was behind all of it).

1) NO hair falling in front of face
2) prize recipients should stand strictly on alternate steps before ascending the stage (what crap?!)
3) DON't swagger towards the guest- of- honour
4) shake hands with the VIP, take another step and bow to the Egg and proceed to centre stage where X marks the spot and bow to the school
5) walk behind the rostrum and return to your seats

See, so fussy right? It's supposed to be a formal event, but NOT this formal okay. Forget it, it's over.

The speeches were, ah well, I shall put it this way - long. Expected, expected.

LLM got the prize for long service. When we stood up and clapped so long and loud for her, she looked kind of embarrassed and pleased, fighting not to smile and appear strict (Gong Yue and I were super amused). The concert brought back so many memories. It was like "Hey! That's my place on stage, I should be the one performing up there!" Could hear my juniors play, good good, means they're not pretending for once (haha, my teaching deserves some credit).

I made up my mind to sing the school song nice and clear but the Band transposed it so high that I was reduced to whispering. Never mind =) It's okay...

Miss Mr Choy, Mrs Look and even Ms Lai!

Love,
-xinying-

PS. shall not dwell about the afternoon and night. Parents nagging again. Sigh. BIG SIGH.

Untitled

2005-07-08T16:16:00.000+01:00

I think IVLE hates me. No matter how I try to recall the password, the stupid thing won't let me in. I wouldn't be this desperate usually, if not for the terrible upcoming Chem and Phy independent learning crap. I need those pre- prepared notes! No way am I going to search and compile related material online, too draining. Just now some no- brainer who knew I was using the com switch off the switch, left me disconnected with this lousy slow com (the spare one which losers like me use). So went back to switch on that switchy. Still couldn't get connected. See, told you the com hates me, this is strong enough evidence. Tried signing in like how many donkey times but it still wouldn't work. Only after 10 mins did I realise that I pressed the wrong switch at the mains socket. Instead of turning on the com, I turned on the TV instead (the two switches are adjacent you see). I'm so slow!!

Read a cool book, courtesy of Sharan. The pictures are so cute and retarded, reminds me of HappyTreeFriends. Toxic boy is cute and Oyster boy..so poor thing! I feel my intelligence level dip to an all time low. Entertaining book nevertheless.

School was boring today (since when has it been exciting? At best, a little interesting). Phy prac was really quite boring. Busied myself with the apparatus and focused on attaching the optical pin to the spring. Then PHT saw me and went "You really love Phy practicals, don't you? I can see it on your face." (hello! His inferential skills aren't too good. A look of intense concentration does not equal to passion) But I like Phy pracs all the same, so there. I severely screwed up the experiment by pretending to ues the spirit- level and taking wrong readings. The final blow came when PHT added that "Class, Xin- Ying here can get 8 for SPA". I almost died-ed, like what the hell? Somehow, I have this gift of giving people the wrong impression of me always. Must start working hard on some basic facial expressions soon.

I have nothing better to say about the Entrepreneurship thing. Sitting between Mel and Yunmin is very interesting, did a lot of nonsensical drawings and scribbles. Managed to sneak out, no, leave with our heads held high (we did have a valid reason after all).

Didn't manage to buy those underwear after all. Went to watch Batman with Mel and seniors, namely Choonsiang and Zechy. The movie was quite alright. I should try and talk more to them and be less anti- social. Mel, I want ice- cream, my Island Creamery Baked Alaska! Sigh. So tired.

Had a long talk with Meihui, pity my sis's incoming call had to spoil everything..tsk! Suddenly, I don't feel so enthusiastic about going back to RV after all...ah well...

Love,
-xinying-

Nuts

2005-07-07T16:38:00.000+01:00

Today's quite a bad day. The start of the same old routine again, lugging my bag from the first floor to the fourth then to the LTs. Yawn, boring...Felt like an idiot, brought every single TYS (bag weighed a ton) but didn't do a single tutorial, just what was I thinking of?! Acting hardworking...tsk tsk

Would just like to thank my dearest 'Amah' Meihui aka President of Spinster Association for dropping by to see me at my class bench. Talking to you really lifts a load off my mind. Thanks for sitting there and listening to my boring complains, someday I shall listen patiently to yours too! You've been a great pal, senior and 大姐 for a record 5 years, buddies forever okay? Will so miss you and the President of the Obasan Association, Wee the forever- busy. One day we shall go HK together and shop and eat and slack okay?

Phy result was totally within expectations (my own low standards, NOT those the school sets). Maths was dreadful (yet why am I not surprised?), a great blow to my fragile ego. I may never recover from this (haha, it'll be over within a day). And of course, thanks to Mel, Yunmin, Kelvin and Gary who patiently sat by their coms and kindly listened to all my grouses. So sorry...

Rasguedo (is this the way it is spelt??). Practise! Practise! Practise!

Love,
-xinying-

Sentosa

2005-07-06T14:29:00.000+01:00

I sound like a loser but yeah, haven't been to Sentosa since I was ten, and that's ages ago! Made a few discoveries today. Firstly, I realised that Harbour Front is the nearest MRT station. Secondly, I thought that cable car and ferry were the only means to get to Sentosa, today's experience proved that belief wrong (I sound real dumb...tsk), there's actually a free bus service! Cool! Lastly, I always thought that admission was very exorbitantly priced. Well, it's only three dollars, about the price of one- and- a- half packets of chicken rice, not too bad. Very affordable provided one's does not mind exclude visiting the Underwater World.

So loser. Took the wrong bus and toured the whole island without even getting close to the beach. Palawan Beach, I shall remember that name. By the time the few 7D-ians got to the beach, it was already a late 12+ noon. Precious morning wasted. The beach is so long and the sand just keeps getting hotter. Still don't really understand why Crystal had to choose those two coconut trees right at the other end of the beach, couldn't she get another tree nearer? It's okay, walking helps burn fats, good for me.

Sea. I love the sea but I don't want to be a sailor. My idea of heaven; soaking in the cold cold water on a hot hot very hot day. Played 'monkey'. The rest came later. Played 'monkey' again. My throwing skills are unmentionable, but never once did I become Monkey! Yippees! Then that Michf and Huwei, keep having false alarms about crabs crawling around their feet. Scare people for nothing. Those irritating little veggies and plastic bags masquerading as crabs and jellyfish, how dare they! As an afterthought, should have kept my sandals on.

Went suntanning but failed to get any darker. Loser. Not even the suntanning lotion helps. I wonder what would? Perhaps I'm just destined to get skin cancer, that's cheery.

So amused by Huwei's five- year- plan. Jiayou.

Muscle pain. Head aches (too much sun). Nose is bright red. Hair entangled. Just a slight shade darker.

Love,
-xinying-

Break

2005-07-05T13:31:00.000+01:00

I wonder where people get all the inspiration and energy to keep updating their blogs. It's simply amazing how some can develop a mundane and common experience into something totally worth blogging about. Read somewhere that it's the intrinsic observant nature imbued in them that enables the conversion of a seemingly unimportant event into life's little lessons. Hopefully this habit can be cultured. I shall start noticing the measly ants. Took a convenient brain- break yesterday because of Bio (some excuse).

Blocks are finally over, meaning I can indulge in my old past times once again. Yipee! Read Dracula this afternoon with a vengence, currently at chapter XIX and the story can only get more exciting. Did read this story before, but only the ultra, so very abridged version with huge pictures every alternate page. But 16 going on 17 in a few months time has its implications, it just means I'm one step closer to being a grown- up (urgh! May that day never come). Decided to up my knowledge and attempt the unabridged, seriously intimidating version for adults. Picked up this Penguin version in the library, unfortunately it's revised...better than nothing.

The front few chapters are full of tragic ironies. Just makes me feel so sorry for the unknowing 'victim'.

Never felt happier, just me and my book and the darling com. Shall get back whizzed back to Translyvannia.

Love,
-xinying-